I have sources inside Miller Park. I don't like to brag about this, but I do. One of my sources tipped me off today about the Ryan Braun/John Hirschbeck conversation after Braun was hit squarely in the back yesterday. Here for your reading pleasure is inside access that you won't find anywhere else, the complete chat transcript between Ryan Braun, umpire John Hirschbeck and Ken Macha.

	Hold me back, man. Hold me back.
	Calm down take your base. /warns both teams Relax.
	I ain't a killer but don't push me.
	Okay, take your base.
	Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to getting pussy.
	Come on Ryan, just take the base. Let's not make this worse than it is.
	My adversaries crumble when we rumble. It's a catastrophe.
	Are you just quoting 2pac songs?
	Bust him to see if he bleed, he shoulda never messed around with a sick-ass ninja like me. They call my name out and ninjas run.
	Do you even have the uncensored version?
	...
	WESTSIDE!!!!!1
	THUG LIFE BAY-BEEEE! ARF! ARF!
	/sighs At least nobody spit in my face.