06
Jul 09

Ryan Braun has a funny way of inspiring people

Ryan+Braun+Darren+Hauck+AP

Hey, you. Mark Burns? I'm sorry, Mike Burns. Listen Mark, I want to talk to you about your pitching. It's not good. I'm just going to come right out and tell you right now that if Dave Bush comes back from the DL, I am sending you down to the minors. We're also looking into some trades right now and if we find the right fit, we will demote you. Just wanted to let you know.

Same goes for you too Seth. We probably won't release you or send you to the minors, but you're definitely out of the rotation. I won't have it. I might actually decide to trade you if you keep this up.  Just so you know, nothing personal. I just find you to be a terrible pitcher and don't really like you as a person. Nothing personal though.

Hey Mr. Mustache, are you going to make a freakin' trade or what? Do I have to do everything for myself around here? Get me some help. We can't spot every team four run leads. Seriously, how hard is your job? Pick up the phone and do something.

Prince, put that down. Don't eat that. Dammit man, we're All-Stars. Eat like one. I don't care if it's a veggie burger, Krispy Kremes are not buns.

What are you looking at Corey? Why don't you get a freakin' haircut and shave your face? You're a Milwaukee Brewer, not a Milwaukee Meth Cook.

Yo A-Dub, cool shirt. With that being said, learn how to write would you? You misspelled home run last week. I don't need that.

'Oh look at me, I'm Casey McGehee. I'm getting all these hits, but I can't even play the field.' Come on, man. Even I can play third base better than you.

Speaking of third base, where's Bill Hall? He better be in the batting cage so help me God.

Hey Jeff Suppan just wanted to congratulate you on pitching so well for the first time in your life. Great work.

You guys know what would be cool to have on our team? A pitcher that hits like a pitcher batting 8th. Oh wait we already have that. His name is Jason Kendall. Nevermind.

Macha take Willie with you and go get my dry cleaning. It's the least you could do to help this team.

Braun out.


12
Jun 09

JJ Hardy is WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

The web is alive with rumors that there is a Brewers trade on the horizon. The center of this talk is JJ Hardy. Earlier I didn't see it happen, but the more I've thought about it. The more it makes sense. My previous argument was that the Brewers wouldn't trade their 5th best hitter. Which makes sense, only Hardy hasn't turned it around and to date the only people who have hit less than him are Bill Hall and Jason Kendall. Yet he still has a lot of value because a lot of people don't see him ending up like this. If the Brewers can get a GOOD starter, like real good for Hardy and not much else. They should do it. It's the right thing to do. Unfortunately, not everyone feels the same way. Like this 13 year old girl who goes by the handle foreverJJsgirl.

foreverJJsgirl

omigod r u serious! is this 4 real? this would be like the dumbest thing evr!! what are they thinkin!?

/listens to Jonas Brothers

this is sooooooo stupid, stupidr than my parents not letting me go to Twilight by myself bc it was pg-13 and i was only 12. god i hate them so much. i cant wait to go to college like my sister.

/watches trailer for New Moon

ne ways about JJ it would be so stupid. like, who are they even going to trade him to? like the bears or somethin? ugh i hate them but i would b there biggest fan if they had jj. hes just so damn cute. hes like david from my 3rd period if he grew a goatee.

/wears clothes she shouldn't be wearing at her age

but then i couldnt go to there games and see jj! itd be so stupid when my dad made me go if jj wasnt there. miller park doesnt even have a starbucks. i guess braun is cute and gamel is alrite, but jj is just soooo cute. hes like a jonas brother. i would totally marry him if my dad wasnt such a jerk who wont let me date.

/doubts her dedication to purity promise ring

ok i get it they need better pitching or something. why not trade corey hart (eww country music) or prince fielder (too fat) or craig council (old as my dad lol)? dont take jj from us, hes the mvp... of my heart.

/texts

ugh i have to go now, my mom says i have to get off the internet and do my homework.

/listens to sad Hannah Montana song alone in her room on repeat


03
Jun 09

The Miller Park Drunk E-Mail Show with Al of Al’s Ramblings, Part 2

chevychaseshowWe now bring you part two of our e-mail conversation with Al of Al's Ramblings for The Miller Park Drunk E-Mail Show. Part two is a bit longer than part 1 as we get into Rickie Weeks, Mike Cameron, post-2009, potential trades, JJ Hardy, Manny Parra and the future of the team. We started to hit a groove towards the end there and we're happy with the results. This is probably the most actual analysis you'll ever see us do, so enjoy it while you can.

MPD: Bill Hall is a great example of casual fans not thinking things through. Bill Hall was beloved for hitting those 35 home runs, then was considered an overpaid let down (both with the bat and the glove) as a center fielder. Last season he was routinely booed, the fans wanted Branyan and his numbers didn't do much to prove anyone wrong. Now here we are in 2009 and he's the same player he was last year, but now he should be the starting second baseman. How does that make sense?
Continue reading →


01
Jun 09

Your 2009 MLB All-Star Lineups

as_08_800

Have you heard about the 2009 All Star game? The Brewers are basically in the top two of every single position. This is pretty exciting for Brewers fans and I was really curious to see how it was going to turn out. To find out I contacted a local mathematician* and had him crunch some numbers for me to figure out how this thing is going to end up. This is what he came up with.

American League

National League

C: Crash Davis
1B:
Richie Sexson
2B: Jarrod Washburn
3B: Who cares?
SS: Spencer's creepy flesh colored beard
OF:
Ichiro
OF:
Dave Navarro
OF: Terence Mann
C: Jason Kendall
1B: Albert Poo-holes lol
2B: Rickie Weeks
3B: Who cares?
SS: JJ Hardy
OF: Ryan Braun
OF: Mike Cameron
OF: Anyone but Gary Sheffield

*By local mathematician I mean a guy I met at a bar who wrote this on a napkin for me.


19
May 09

After this post I will consume a bottle of pills

pills

Here is a list of our tweets yesterday:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i need a drink. put me on suicide watch, weeks is don for the year

Here's some tweets I received:

SconnieGirl808@WisconsinTeams @millerparkdrunk - Wait. What?! WTF is happening???

thegnc@millerparkdrunk Oh for fucks sake. Link please.

thischarmingham@millerparkdrunk god just loves pissing in week's cheerios

Rickie Weeks is now out for the season. The recovery time on his injury is 4-6 months meaning that even in a best case scenario he won't be back for the playoffs. If there are a playoffs. One of my best friends claims that this is the best thing to ever happen to the Brewers. My friend is an idiot. Outside of the golden trio of Braun/Fielder/Gallardo, Weeks is the last person this team wanted to get hurt. Hart, Hardy and Hall are all replaceable. There isn't a single player on this team that can take his place at leadoff. Counsell is better at defense and matches his eye, but the power/speed combo isn't there. You can lead off Corey Hart, but you lose some OBP (perhaps a lot of it). You can lead off Kendall, but you lose every single thing Weeks does well and gain nothing except whiteness and metal knowledge. You can lead off... that's about it actually. Does a team need a true leadoff hitter to win it all? Not at all, but it certainly helps and it certainly hurts to have one and lose him.

Unfortunately, this isn't Baseball Mogul (which is probably a good thing because Baseball Mogul HATES the Brewers for some reason) and you can't just move Hardy to second and call up Escobar to play SS. You have to work with what you have and deal with players feelings. Hardy doesn't want to move and if he doesn't want to, you probably can't make him. Then even if you could do that, who knows if it would even work? It's not like Escobar is hitting in AAA. Weeks is gone and as of right now the best replacement for him is a Counsell/McGehee platoon. Call it whatever you want, but this is not a good thing. It's bad. Bad for the team. Bad for Rickie. Bad for me.

I am emotionally invested in Rickie Weeks. I saw him play in Double A. I watched his debut. I tracked his career. I've had him on fantasy teams. Most of all, I believed in him when no one else did. I knew the talent he had and I knew that if he ever figured it out, he'd be a pretty damn good second baseman. Guess what? He figured it out. This was the  season that he became a pretty damn good second baseman and now it's over. Will he be good next year? He should be and I can't wait to bust out my Weeks jersey on Opening Day 2010, but it's still 2009. The race is too close to call and losing Rickie Weeks for the season hurts this team more than any of the other NL Central contenders have been hurt thus far.

The Brewers are a great team, but without Rickie? We'll see.

Now if you'll excuse me I am going to induce a seizure and swallow my own tongue.

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