25
Sep 09

The final weekend

So, this is it. Our last chance to go to Miller Park. It seems like only yesterday I was doing a countdown to Opening Day, telling you what not to wear and how to drink. Now? It's all over. If you haven't been to a game in awhile and want to get one last one in, stubhub has some truly crazy deals on tickets right now (Terrace for $.50, Field Infield Box for $15, Loge Infield for $10, Loge Diamond Box for $10, tons of deals). They might win, they might not. Doesn't really matter. Miller Park is a great place just to hang out. If you don't have faith in the team on the field just stay in the parking lot for the first four innings. I can't say I've never done it and I know you'll have a good time because it's ALWAYS a good time. Personally, I am happy with my last game of the season being Wednesday's game (and not just because I'm still hungover.) I got to see Prince go yard, a starting pitcher actually do a good job and Trevor Time. I can't think of a better way to remember this season than that (outside of flipping The Happy Youngster over the railing into the bullpen).

Speaking of my last game, something really weird happened at it: I met some readers and they were happy about it. "It's a pleasure to meet you" they said. My only reply? "Really? Seriously? You're kidding right?" I'm glad that people read this blog and I'm more glad that the people who read it really like it, but let's face the facts. I'm just another douchebag who spills his beer on a pregnant chick. Nothing to get excited about.

Anyways, enjoy the weekend gang. I'll be back Monday with more stuff, just like I'll be back every week all winter long. Just because the Brewers will be gone doesn't mean I suddenly have important stuff to do. Quite the opposite.


21
Sep 09

The celebrity roast of Doug Melvin

There is a lot of talk about Doug Melvin these days. Whether it's his bobblehead day, the Fire Doug Melvin blog or Mark A's recent comments about him. Everyone has an opinion on Doug Melvin, he is a hot item right now. Whether or not he is to blame for what happened this season is up for discussion (I say no), but he is our GM and he's pretty good at what he does. He's important to this team's future. Now I've been watching TV all of my life and I know there is only one true way to honor those who are important to you and that's with a roast.

So join a calvacade of stars as they roast Brewers General Manager Doug Melvin live from the Pabst Theater(!) after the jump. Continue reading →


29
Jul 09

The only living boy at Miller Park

CleanseGirlAfter yesterday's post and subsequent loss to the Nationals, I got to thinking about tonight's game. You see, I have tickets to tonight's game. The last game I went to was July 8th against the Cardinals. An excellent win featuring a Gamel homerun and a little Trevor Time. Good times were had by all. Since then I've been watching the games on television and it hasn't been a real pleasant experience to the point where I have seriously considered getting rid of tonight's tickets and going to karaoke or something. Right now I just feel as if going to Miller Park isn't the best way to spend my free time and money. I don't want to go to Miller Park and I don't want to watch the Brewers. Which is exactly why I have to go.

You see the more I thought about it the more I was reminded of this scene from the movie Garden State. (First commenter to make a "Do you know how I know you're gay" joke wins.)

In this scene the dude just lets go. It's raining, he's in some dirty quarry and he just says "you know what? F it. I'm having a good time." and that's exactly what I need to do tonight. I need to put whatever got me to this point behind me and just have a good time. It's like this, have you ever quit drinking for awhile? Whether it's because you had a real bad night or your girlfriend threatened you or you have court coming up or whatever, you decide to take it easy for awhile. But then that totally sucks and you are in a crabby mood so you eventually break down and start drinking again. Aren't you that much happier? Don't you feel like 100 times better after? That's what this game is like for me and considering the fact that I may have just described a symptom of alcoholism I feel pretty good about it.

Watching the Brewers suck on TV is terrible. Watching the Brewers suck live is slightly more palpable. Everything is always better at Miller Park. That's why tonight I am going to be living up to the title of this website. The Brewers sucking is what ails me and the only medicine is Miller Park. Like Prince made Applonia purify herself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka in Purple Rain, I have to purify myself in the beers of Miller Park. It's the only way we can get out of this in one piece.


19
Jun 09

It’s Friday, let’s have fun with numbers

NumbersOkay, I think I am a bit calmed down now.

Just a few numbers to fill your head over the weekend because as everyone knows if there is one thing that goes good with heavy drinking, it's numbers.

96: Games left in the season. This seems like a lot, but trust me it's a big frown face for me. I haven't even went swimming yet!

5000+: Visitors so far in June. That's kind of a lot. Thanks a lot.

0: Of those 5000+ who would rather live in Detroit. Man, Detroit sucks. A couple of my buddies went out there for the series because they go to an out of town series every year and all I could say to them was "WHY?" I get the whole "never been there before and want to see their stadium thing", but Detroit is the pits.

35-31: Brewers Pythagoraen record. Same as the Cardinals. This means something, but I have no idea what.

14-15: Brewers record since Rickie Weeks last game. JUST SAYING.

73/274: Combined home runs and RBIs Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun are on pace for. Thatsalottaruns. Fielder is on pace for most RBIs by an NL player since 2001. NICE. (Useless knowledge that I know: For those curious the HR record for teammates is 115 by Maris/Mantle in 1961.)

3: Times I've watched Hitch in the past week. No, I am not proud of this.

.250: Mike Cameron's current batting average. Hey, I told you this would happen.

250: The number of facebook fans we need to reach before giving away another two tickets. I think I set this number kind of low since we're already over 200, but whatever. I'll give it to next Friday and if we top 300, we'll have a secondary prize. If you're already a fan, you're already in. If you're not, click here to become a fan. Follow us on Twitter while you're at it.

That's about all I've got for you this week. We'll be working on getting some more cool stuff up here for next week. More comics (although that artist WAS a bit expensive), more Brewers Baby (if his mom says it's okay), LOLBREWERS and some other crazy stuff we haven't even come up with yet. You keep reading and telling your friends, we'll keep doing our thing (and if you're looking for tickets check out our sponsor Cheap Milwaukee Brewers Tickets). Now if you'll excuse me I haven't drank since Monday (!) and that's about four days too long.

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