Top 5 t-shirts to buy outside of a Cubs game

CUBBIES September 16th, 2009

I don't know about you guys, but I LOVE the t-shirts they sell outside of a Cubs game. I can just sit there and read them and laugh all day long. Except that they don't allow drinking on the street so I just take a quick glance at them and go inside the bar. Anyways there are a lot of excellent ones out there and I just wanted to show you my top 5 so you know which ones to buy me. :))

  1. horrykow
    Fukudome has kinda been a letdown, but this shirt still makes me laugh every time.
  2. ozziemowsmylawntshirt
    Some people prefer the "Pujols mows Wrigley" shirt, but I think this one is perfect. Ozzie just looks like he mows lawns.
  3. fudgepackers
    I don't know what I love more about this shirt, the fact that it exists or the fact that I am able to buy it.
  4. brewers_suck_sausage
    Because sausage is another word for penis lol.
  5. pooholes
    Get it? Pujols, POO HOLES? HAHAHA.
    Best. Shirt. Ever.

Please shut up about Prince’s walk off celebration

Baseball September 8th, 2009

This season the Brewers have been surrounded by controversy. Whether it was the Cardinals hating their untucking, the Pirates hating Ryan Braun, Bob Brenly hating Ryan Braun, Jason Kendall and Dave Kerwin, The Happy Douchebag against the Marlins or whatever other ridiculous controversy we've seen this season, it's always been something. There's always something going on. Well, this latest one is the last straw. The latest one stems from Prince Fielder's AWESOME walk off home run celebration. I wrote a few weeks ago that some of our favorite moments this season hadn't even happened yet. Well, guess what? This was one of them. Let's watch it again.

Watching it again I see nothing but pure joy. This has been a hard season for the team and for the fans. This was a moment to be happy, a moment to think of better times. The Brewers weren't rubbing it in the Giants faces, they were celebrating their own accomplishment and they did it in a cool way. What's wrong with that? A lot apparently.

"I did laugh. I did think it was funny. It was very creative," Hunter said. "But it's a little strong for baseball, because you could have a 90-mph fastball coming at you the next day. You've got to have toughness and heart to do that. It's not for me. If someone did that against us and we played them again, trust me, he'd get crushed, and we'd try to fight him."

Really Torii Hunter? You're going to fight someone over that? You're going to fight PRINCE FIELDER of all people? Are you that guy who freaks out at me for bumping into him? Or are you just talking? Maybe you're just talking. Afterall, he just saw this on TV. Surely, the Giants couldn't be that upset about this.

Pitching coach Dave Righetti stared so hard at Fielder as he gave a post-game interview I kept waiting for Prince's head to explode.

Well, I guess that's to be expected. I know that whenever I am mad I stare at someone intensely for ten minutes. Surely, the Brewers own manager "gets it". Right Ken?

"I was shocked, standing there"

Oh, I guess not. Is there somebody out there that can look at this thing reasonably? Anybody? How about you weird old man?

"I'm as old school as anybody but there's nothing wrong with that," said reliever David Weathers. "You've got to have some fun. I've seen a lot worse things go on than that.

"We're just trying to have some fun. It's not disrespect for the other team. It's not about them. It's about us."

I'm just going to skip over the 200 other columnists who complained about this too because what Weathers says is right. It's FUN. They want to enjoy their jobs. They want to savor their victories and really, what's wrong with that? It's not about the Giants and it's stupid for them to think that it is. This is about a silver lining on a crappy season. So can we please stop being mock offended every time the Brewers do something interesting? It's getting old. Prince's celebration needs to be what it's meant to be, a lasting image and memory for Brewers fans. Seriously, make this a shirt already.

prince fielder

Steroids or Why it’s good to be a Brewers fan

Baseball August 17th, 2009

muscle_building_steroids4I don't give a crap about steroids. I really, really don't. It annoys me when people talk about them. It annoys me when I have to read about them. It drives me crazy to read hack after hack talk about how baseball isn't pure anymore and that things will never be the same and blah, blah, blah. Every week a former star comes out and says he "did it the right way". (By the way, do you know why you did it the right way Joe Morgan? Because you didn't have a choice! 268 career home runs is pretty impressive for a guy your size, but 400 would be a lot nicer wouldn't it? Exactly.) Only a few like Daryl Strawberry admit that they would have done steroids. Unfortunately Daryl would have also huffed cans of Pam, smoked roofies and shared jankem with Keith Hernandez if given the chance. It just goes on and on and very few times, if ever, do you read something where the writer is logical and even handed.

Bill James is the most recent example of someone using logic and he makes some good points. He basically says that science doesn't stop and that we will continue to have drugs in our society that help us live longer and stay young. Staying young means staying good at baseball and it will only get better in the future and one day we will look back on this time and think "no big deal." He then goes on to say that most people will live to be 200 years old, have 24-hour boners and that a method of time-warp will be developed that will attract the attention of an advanced alien race called Vulcans who will then make first contact with Earth. So he's mostly right, except for the part about the Stargate and flying cars.

The thing is none of it really matters. Read the rest of this entry »

Does Ryan Braun hate me?

Baseball July 22nd, 2009

Interesting question poisted to me by commenter Citizens Bank Park Drunk recently: do you think Ryan Braun hates you? His argument was that whenever Ryan Braun does ANYTHING of note we seem to end up making fun of him and someone like Ryan Braun likes to stay connected, likes to know whats going on in the world. Even if he only read more "major" sites like Brew Crew Ball, Decider or Brewers beat writer Adam McCalvy's blog he would have come across a link to us at some point. Or if he googled Remetee, we would come up on the 2nd page. The odds are that if Ryan Braun is looking for information on himself on the internet that he has come across this site and that we haven't been too kind to him. In the past we've made fun of his likeme page, his calling out of teammates, his friendship with A-Rod, his thirst for revenge, his way of getting angry, his clothing line and personally blamed him for troubles with ladies. The only times I've been real "nice" to him are when he turned down the Bachelor and this post where he had an awesome day. It would seem that if Ryan Braun did ever read Miller Park Drunk that he would hate it and that makes me sad. Like real sad. Sad like this little girl.

sadlittlegirl Read the rest of this entry »

The fail that is the JSOnline Brewers Fan Photo Gallery

Fans June 16th, 2009

If you haven't had the pleasure chance to see the JSOnline's user submitted Brewers fan photo gallery than you are REALLY missing out. I've invited my good friend Brewers Baby to help me comment on some of these photos.I should warn you, Brewers Baby can get a little vulgar at times. What can I say? He's a baby. He poops his pants and pees himself. Babies are stupid.

afflic

BREWERS BABY This is a good look for someone who wants to A) look like a douchebag, B) cook crystal meth, C) date strippers and D) get his f@%kin ass whooped if I ever see him.

Read the rest of this entry »

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