31
Jul 12

What X-Men power would be the best to have?

Ever since I was a little kid I've loved the X-Men. I was raised watching that 90's X-Men show on FOX Kids that was actually really awesome and not stupid like all kids shows today. (Another awesome show from this time period was Batman: The Animated Series which outside of the Christopher Nolan trilogy is the best Batman has been portrayed in any form of media.) When the movies came out I was there on opening night. The first X-Men movie was actually the first DVD I ever owned. I've read a lot of the comics and highly recommend Joss Whedon's Astonishing run and Grant Morrison's New X-Men. Wolverine was dumb and X-Men 3 is basically the worst stuff ever. My X-Men cred is legit.

A recent after bar conversation got me thinking about the idea of being a mutant. Would I want to be Wolverine? Of course I would. Wolverine is a bad ass. (Weird crying bitch Wolverine from X-Men 3 does not exist and I will fight you if he say he does.) But is his power the best? I say no. Did you know he can't really get drunk? I mean, he can and has many times before but it takes forever and his body is constantly trying to fix his liver damage as he drinks. What the heck, body? I'm trying to destroy you here. Let me destroy you. Nobody really wants to be Cyclops. One because he is a nerd and two because it would suck having to wear that stupid thing on your face all the time. We all know Rogue's would suck because that's the entire point of Rogue. Beast? Give me a break.

This is a serious question that I've spent hours and hours of my life dissecting and analyzing in a desperate attempt to to figure it out. This is what I've come up with. Continue reading →


02
May 11

Milwaukee Brewers terrorist watch list

WE DID IT!!!! WE KILLED OSAMA BIN LADEN!!!!

I mean, it's more like Osama Bin DYING now am I right?

HAHA WOOOO! USA! USA! USA!

TERRORISTS SHOULD KNOW THAT WE WILL FIND YOU AND TAKE YOU DOWN! YEAH!!!! USA! USA! USA!

Unfortunately, the end of Osama Bin Laden is not the end of terrorism. I wish it were that simple, but it's not. There are still many threats facing our nation and there will always be more threats facing our nation after those ones are gone. There's not much we can do about it, it's just the way it is. We will continue to fight and hunt them down because that's what we do.

Terrorists are not only abroad, but some of them exist right here in our country. Right here in Wisconsin. Some of them are so close to you that you don't even know it. Some of them... ARE IN MILLER PARK! We need to make the extinction of these terrorists a top priority. I mean, they don't  blow up buildings or kill people, but they do something almost as bad: they ruin our enjoyment of baseball games. Outside of the terrorists who actually kill people these people are the greatest threat facing our nation today and something must be done to stop them. Continue reading →


04
May 10

5 Reason the Brewers start is possibly maybe not that bad

Look, we're all unhappy. 10-15 is just not fun. Even if we do the whole "blame Trevor" thing the Brewers are still 13-12 and that's not a very good record either. It's better, but it's not satisfying and a lot of these losses have been supremely unsatisfying. I get tired of being Mr. Brightside all the time, but here is a few small silver linings to the start of the season.

5. The draft suddenly seems a whole lot more interesting.

We're about one month away from the MLB Amateur Draft and suddenly I care. Thanks to sucking last year we get to pick 14th! Who are we going to get? A lot of mock drafts see the Brewers going for a pitcher, but I've also heard the name Bryce Brentz. Who is Bryce Brentz? I don't know, but his name sounds cool and he might be a Brewer soon. Can't you just picture some little kid at Miller Park doing the Jr. PA announcer and saying "Now bwatting fow tha Bwewars Bwyce Bwentz!"? Yeah you can!

4. There is other stuff on.

The great thing about the Brewers slow start is that we don't have to watch it. We had the Bucks in the playoffs, the rest of the NBA playoffs, the NHL playoffs, golf, the NFL Draft, all the good TV shows are still running new episodes and everything else. If the Brewers had their worst month of the season in July like last year that would suck because there is nothing on TV in July.

3. Every good team has a bad month.

This may be the crazy person in me talking, but every good team has at least one bad month in them. Check it out. Continue reading →

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