I love Thanksgiving so, so very much. It combines a few of my favorite pastimes: overeating, drinking heavily, not doing anything, punching family members in the face. If we could figure out a way to transfer Thanksgiving to the parking lot at Miller Park in mid-August this would be the greatest holiday of all. It still is (why? none of that whiny God shit), but that would make it just that much better like a finger in your asshole during a blowjob. I mean, ummm.... I just... uhh, ummm yeah. So ANYWAYS, Thanksgiving is awesome and I like to consider myself an expert in the holiday. Do I know how to cook turkey and do stuff with the gizard and whatnot? Fuck no. I know how to make this holiday legendary. I know how to turn Thanksgiving into Thanksfuckingyeahgiving. Want to have an awesome holiday? Tired of deciding to go to the movies because you are so bored? Tired of pretending to care about a Cowboys game or using mock outrage that you don't get the NFL Network? Miller Park Drunk is here to guide you through the greatest holiday of them all. Continue reading
Okay, I think I am a bit calmed down now.
Just a few numbers to fill your head over the weekend because as everyone knows if there is one thing that goes good with heavy drinking, it's numbers.
96: Games left in the season. This seems like a lot, but trust me it's a big frown face for me. I haven't even went swimming yet!
5000+: Visitors so far in June. That's kind of a lot. Thanks a lot.
0: Of those 5000+ who would rather live in Detroit. Man, Detroit sucks. A couple of my buddies went out there for the series because they go to an out of town series every year and all I could say to them was "WHY?" I get the whole "never been there before and want to see their stadium thing", but Detroit is the pits.
35-31: Brewers Pythagoraen record. Same as the Cardinals. This means something, but I have no idea what.
14-15: Brewers record since Rickie Weeks last game. JUST SAYING.
73/274: Combined home runs and RBIs Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun are on pace for. Thatsalottaruns. Fielder is on pace for most RBIs by an NL player since 2001. NICE. (Useless knowledge that I know: For those curious the HR record for teammates is 115 by Maris/Mantle in 1961.)
3: Times I've watched Hitch in the past week. No, I am not proud of this.
.250: Mike Cameron's current batting average. Hey, I told you this would happen.
250: The number of facebook fans we need to reach before giving away another two tickets. I think I set this number kind of low since we're already over 200, but whatever. I'll give it to next Friday and if we top 300, we'll have a secondary prize. If you're already a fan, you're already in. If you're not, click here to become a fan. Follow us on Twitter while you're at it.
That's about all I've got for you this week. We'll be working on getting some more cool stuff up here for next week. More comics (although that artist WAS a bit expensive), more Brewers Baby (if his mom says it's okay), LOLBREWERS and some other crazy stuff we haven't even come up with yet. You keep reading and telling your friends, we'll keep doing our thing (and if you're looking for tickets check out our sponsor Cheap Milwaukee Brewers Tickets). Now if you'll excuse me I haven't drank since Monday (!) and that's about four days too long.