A lot of people have a problem with these selections because there is a disturbing lack of the "good" Brewers. No Prince or Braun for the 85th time, no Rickie Weeks or Corey Hart who had huge seasons last year and no Yovani Gallardo who has actually never had a bobblehead made in his likeness by the Milwaukee Brewers. It's weird right? It reminds of 2009 when Jason Kendall got one over Mike Cameron despite being worse in every way. To find the answer I went to another blogger who seems to be an expert in these things. I use the term "blogger" lightly because his blog isn't actually up yet and he only has a twitter account, but on this particular topic I think he knows his stuff. So take it away, KuKluxBrewKrew.

Pop quiz hotshot: Who are the greatest Brewers of all time?
Answer: Robin Yount and Paul Molitor.
Why? Because they're white, natch.

The truth about the reason Rickie Weeks, Prince Fielder, Yovani Gallardo and the rest of "those people" were left off the bobbleheads this year is because nobody wants them in their home. Do you think I really want a couple of black guys and a Mexican on my mantle next to my Dale Earnhardt commemorative model cars? You think I want Prince Fielder staring me down with those beady bobblehead eyes as I watch the Blue Collar Comedy Tour on TV? Sure, they might help the boys win a few extra games but that doesn't mean they should get a bobblehead.

Last year I got a Hank Aaron bobblehead to celebrate the 70s ( I wanted Bud Selig), do you know where it is now? In the back yard of my trailer being used for target practice right next to the picture of Osama Bin Laden that says "Wanted Dead Or Alive". You think I want my kids playing with these things? Hell no. It's bad enough Billy is always playing with Ellie May's Barbies, playing dress up and all that. Heck, they already took over the White House. Now you want to give them Miller Park too?

I know all you lefty, PC commies out there are reading this and trying to disagree, but answer me this: if Mark Anastasio and the Brewers agree with me, how wrong could I be? Go Krew. White Power.

Alrighty then.

Personally, I don't agree with the choices for this year at all. I just don't see the point behind a Craig Counsell or Randy Wolf bobblehead. Yovani Gallardo is the only one I think really "deserved" it (if we're assuming that having a bobblehead in your likeness is a huge honor), but when it comes down to it I really don't care. Who does and doesn't deserve one doesn't really matter because if you really want a bobblehead of someone, you can find one. So for all you Gallardo fans out there dying to get one all you have to do is go down to your local sporting goods store and pick up one of these babies.

For only $14.99 you could have your very own Vovani Gallardo bobblehead. That's cheaper than the price of a ticket!

I know that people have mixed feelings about Rickie Weeks. He's a letdown for a #1 pick, he's injury prone and he's not that good of a defender. That's fine, you are all entitled to your opinion but the truth is you can't ignore the facts. You're not CNN (joke © Al's Ramblings). Before he got injured last season Rickie Weeks was the Brewers MVP. In just 37 games he hit 9 homeruns and had an OPS of .857. He was on pace for a monster season. His detractors said that it was just a fluke, but so far this season he has picked up right where he left off. While these early season numbers that shouldn't be taken too seriously, it's hard to ignore his two homeruns and 1.046 OPS. If this was a movie now would be about the time that Morpheus says that "he is starting to believe." Rickie Weeks is figuring this out and he is making a huge difference in this Brewers lineup.

Will this last forever? I don't know. Will he still be a Brewer in a couple seasons with Brett Lawrie playing the same position and hitting well in the minors? I don't know. What I do know is that so far this season he is one of the few bright spots on the team and I think it's about time we reward him for it. Hell, we rewarded Corey Hart for it and he wasn't nearly this good. (Yeah, I said it.) How do we reward Rickie? How can we possibly let Rickie Weeks know that we appreciate everything he is doing? How can we let Rickie know that we like him, we really really like him?

WE ARE GOING TO MAKE RICKIE WEEKS AN ALL-STAR

Look, I know the All-Star vote is kind of a silly thing to get behind. The game is ultimately pointless, but that doesn't mean that it isn't cool. Being an All-Star is an honor and I think Rickie Weeks deserve that honor, but it's not going to be easy. A lot of people are voting and it's hard to get ahead of some of the favorites, but I think we can do it and I think Rickie Weeks is worth trying for. If we were to try this with Prince, it wouldn't work. Pujols is going to start at first base until he dies. If we tried this with Casey McGehee, I doubt it would work because he's not getting many out of town votes and the Kung Fu Panda/Mark Reynolds/David Wright triumvirate is too good. Second base though? We can do second base. I know we can.

Here's who we're dealing with:

Clint Barmes, COL: Sucks.
Mike Fontenot, CHC: No way the Chicago fan base gets behind this guy. He doesn't even start every game.
Kaz Matsui, HOU: Sucks.
Skip Schumaker, STL: Does he even start at second base?
Luis Castillo, NYM: Maybe in 2001.
Akinori Iwamura, PIT: Ha, nobody votes for those losers. (I'm talking about Pirates, not Japanese people.)
Brandon Phillips, CIN: Sucks.
Dan Uggla, FLA: After he had all those errors, do you really think he's getting voted back in? Ever?
Blake Dewitt, LAD: Only in his dreams. (Not the ones about Matt Kemp and Rhianna asking him to be in a devil's three way. His other dreams.)
Kelly Johnson, ARI: Wait, Arizona has a team? In the major leagues?
Martin Prado, ATL: He's pretty good, but he's the kind of guy you forget exists.
David Eckstein, SDP: He's still playing?
Adam Kennedy, WAS: AND he's still playing?
Freddy Sanchez, SF: Good one.

And the only person we need to worry about is...

Chase Utley, PHI: The incumbent.

He's going to get votes and lots of them. Take a look at last year's final voting:

1. Chase Utley, Phillies, 5,027,029
2. Orlando Hudson, Dodgers, 1,703,710
3. Rickie Weeks, Brewers, 1,355,204
4. Skip Schumaker, Cardinals, 1,191,954
5. Dan Uggla, Marlins, 893,916

But you know what? Screw him. Five million votes is a lot, but you do realize who #3 was right? 1.35 million votes while being injured and only playing 37 games is a lot. And that was without a major campaign from a middling-baseball blog! If Rickie keeps playing like he's playing and we do what I believe we can then Rickie Weeks will be an All-Star! No I don't believe it, I know we will make Rickie Weeks an All-Star!

Need further convincing? Here's an inspirational speech I found by some famous guy who overcame the odds that I think perfectly sets the tone for what we are trying to do here.

We know the battle ahead will be long, but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can withstand the power of millions of voices calling for change.

We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics who will only grow louder and more dissonant in the weeks to come. We've been asked to pause for a reality check. We've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope.

But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope. For when we have faced down impossible odds; when we've been told that we're not ready, or that we shouldn't try, or that we can't, generations of Americans have responded with a simple creed that sums up the spirit of a people.

Yes we can.

Did you just read that? Don't you feel like going out and doing something!?

(Yes, you do!)

Aren't you tired of Chase Utley and his oppressive domination of the National League 2nd Baseman All-Star ballots?

(Yes, you are!)

Isn't it about time we made real change and put someone in that slot that AMERICA can get behind?

(Yes, it is time!)

THEN LET'S GET OUT THERE AND VOTE PEOPLE!

Go to this website right now and vote for Rickie. Don't vote once like you do in a stupid election, vote 25 times like I did! And then when you wake up tomorrow and you realize that the things about your life that you hate still haven't changed, log on and vote 25 times again! I'm old enough to know that we can't change the world. Some things will always be the way that they are, but I am wise enough to know that we can make a difference. That difference is Rickie Weeks in the All-Star Game. We can make that difference, YES WE CAN.

VOTE FOR RICKIE WEEKS

Mike Cameron, JJ Hardy, Jason Kendall and Seth McClung for:

Carlos Gomez, Gregg Zaun, Latroy Hawkins, Randy Wolf and Doug Davis

I mean, even a Mike Cameron fan like myself, a 13 year old saving herself for JJ or the most diehard Slipknot fan would think that's a good trade right? I'd hope so because that is a good trade and it's exactly what Doug Melvin has pulled off. The team will go into spring training with basically the same payroll as last year with upgrades at between four and five positions (C, SP, SP, SS and RP(?)) with a drop off at only one (CF). That's a really good offseason. I honestly don't know how anyone could say that outside of the Mariners anyone had a better offseason than that and it's all because of the Big Tuna Doug Davis. Who knew?

Jody Gerut, Rickie Weeks and Carlos Gomez have all agreed to deals avoiding arbitration leaving Dave Bush, Carlos Villanueva, Todd Coffey and Corey Hart as the only ones remaining unsigned. I imagine Corey Hart is going to act like a punk like he did last year.

Speaking of Corey Hart, Sandra Bullock captured the Golden Globe for best actress for her role in "The Blind Side". When reached for comment Corey said that movie was "gooder than grits." I haven't seen it because I've been too busy with the site, but maybe some day. I have seen this trailer for the A-Team though which looks quite good.

The Brewers don't play the Twins in Minnesota until May, but I just might have to make the trip up there. Why? Target Field will offer walleye on a stick. Personally, I'm more of a pork chop on a stick kind of guy. I still say they should have put a roof on that place.

Speaking of roofs, popular Milwaukee restaurant Pizza Man had it's roof and the rest of it burn down. (h/t Doctors of Za)

Here's a story for everyone who has ever complained about the wait for the bathroom at Miller Park. It could be worse, you could be a ball boy at the Australian Open and pee yourself.

Around baseball:

• Mets induct two cocaine addicts to their Hall of Fame. Sounds about right.
• An earthquake caused a major tragedy in Haiti, but can't stop Jimmy Rollins' wedding.
• Do Lenny Dykstra stories ever get old? I say no.
• Charlie Manuel lost a ton of weight. Maybe I should diet....nah.
• From now on Jack Z will be known as Daddy WARbucks. That's a lot easier to spell than Zduriencik.

Looking for a new favorite player after the departures of Seth McClung, Mike Cameron and JJ Hardy? You could always join Zaunbie Nation. WARNING: Canadian rock gods Rush will start playing. Prepare to rock out.

Meanwhile, Al's Ramblings takes a break from dissing the left, making fun of old media and fantasizing about Meghan McCain to express how much he misses Seth McClung. I do too.

On this day in history Jeff Juden was born. Also, Sargent Slaughter defeated the Ultimate Warrior for the WWF title under circumstances that I would call nefarious.

Oh, and I knew there was a reason I didn't do John Cena impressions.

That's all I have for today, unless you're looking for a lesson in ownage by Jack Bauer.

Drink up.

Vince: Hey Tyler, I've got a question for you that's been bothering me for awhile and I want your opinion on it. If you had to have sex with a member of the Milwaukee Brewers, who would it be? There was a time and a place when I thought this question would be easy to answer and that the answer to the question would be Mike Cameron, but then the more I thought about it the more I realized that maybe Mike Cameron wasn't the right guy for me. He's a great guy not doubt about it, but losing your gay virginity is a big deal and I want it to be special, you know? I need to know I'm special and that it matters as much to this person as it does to me. I thought for a second that maybe Prince Fielder was the guy for me. He seems like a great guy, right? He's always happy and smiling, playing little games with the guys, he seems like he'd be a hell of a "teammate", but then you watch him swing and you think if he swings anything like he hits (it) than I am going to have some tearing going on back there and I don't think I'd like that very much. You're the only one I trust to help me answer this question of great importance (and coincidentally the only one who replied to my email.)

Tyler: Vince. I’m glad you came to me with this question. But before I go ahead and answer it, I’d like to briefly talk about gender roles and the conventions of “masculinity”. Can something as important as one’s personal sexuality be so simply whittled down to the descriptors of straight, gay, and furry? Beyond anatomy, what makes a man? Am I less of a man because I cried like a newborn while watching Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About his Father? Of course not. Is my life-long love and attraction to women nullified because I once bought a Mike’s Hard Lemonade at Miller Park, because I like The Cardigans or because I recently made lavender soap as a holiday craft for loved ones? F-that! Would I consider going to a quaint bed and breakfast with the guy from that new show White Collar? Hell yeah! Who wouldn’t? But does my willingness to go apple picking with a basic cable heartthrob make me any less of a meat and potatoes man? Shit no.

I hope to one day live in a world where every heterosexual male Brewers fan will – like us –  feel comfortable climbing the highest mountain to scream out which Brewer they’d let buttstuff him – if they had to pick one for some unforeseeable and illogical reason.

That said, I can’ tell you which Brewer to pick. I feel that – except for Casey McGehee, who’s ugly as shit – anyone is one the table. Beyond learning about Jeff Suppan’s past a dishwasher from that FSN special they air during rain delays sometimes and Corey Hart’s wife being ultra fertile, I don’t know anything about the Brewers off the field. So I feel the choice is half a blind guess to the player’s personality and half based on which player you’d probably be physically attracted to if guys were your cup of tea.

It’s much more difficult than my criteria for figuring out girls I would sleep with (pulse, willingness to sleep with me).
So if your heart tells you to pick Prince, go to him. True love knows no tearing. I think Socrates said that. My personal pick would be Manny Parra, for the following reasons:

• He’s classically handsome. He could turn heads in any era. Like Paul Rudd… with less pitching talent.
• Pitching-wise, he often misses his spots. I can only hope those control issues would transfer to the bedroom for my posterior’s sake.
• He’s going to a Brewer for a long time. Why hope your fictional same-sex lover becomes a Dodger or Yankee when you can play Monday Night Bingo and drink $1 Tecate at Palomino in sub-zero weather here? Big fish in a mid-market pond, talk about a young power couple!
  He: An up-and-coming professional athlete.
  I: Dave Grohl’s fatter doppelganger, and a near-payable freelance writer with such lofty publications as Milwaukee Alcoholmanac and Miller Park Drunk on my resume.
  The tabloids would go crazy for us. Tanny Marra, they’d call us. Anthony Witrado would still spell it wrong.

Vince: I like where your heads at here Tyler, I too have done my fair share of things that would be deemed "gay" by society. I shouldn't be ashamed to not only own every season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and it's spinoff Angel, but to have bought them on their original day of release. I should be proud and sing the lyrics from the musical episode of Buffy with pride. I shouldn't lie and tell people I that I was too drunk to remember kissing that guy at the company Christmas party two years ago, I should tell them the truth: that his tongue was too coarse and he kissed like an iguana. (I thought it was funny and it seemed like a good idea at the time!) And in the interest of telling people the truth I am going to tell them this, if I had to pick one member of the Milwaukee Brewers to enter the sacred ground that is my backside it would without a doubt be All-star left fielder, former Rookie of the Year, Silver Slugger, creator of Remetee and all around superstar Ryan Braun.

It has to be him. If I am going to do this thing I want it to be the best experience possible, I want to get off multiple times, I want to scream in agony and delight and I think if there is anyone who could do that to me, it's Ryan Braun. You see Ryan Braun is one of those rare individuals who wants to be the best at everything he does. He wants to design the best overpriced shirt for douchebags, he wants to have the greatest restaurant chain in Wisconsin, he wants to be the best baseball player every year and I truly believe if given the opportunity and the right challenge he would absolutely be the best butt pirate there ever was. Top, bottom, power bottom, whatever, Ryan would be a master of all positions. He could go ass to mouth with ease and I'd need to take a week off of work to recover. That's how good he'd be. Remember his game winning home run to win the Wild Card? It's like he's almost better under pressure, right? Imagine that same pressure applied to a suite at the Pfister only instead of needing a home run to beat the Cubs, he needs to pitch a perfect game to his catcher (that's me!). I say he does it. With ease. Everytime. Why? Because he's Ryan 'the truth" Braun, that's why!