01
May 09

And the winner is…

I'll tell you what, it's pretty hard to find stuff to write about when the team you write about goes 8-2 in it's last ten games and doesn't show any sign of stopping. (Hangovers also don't help.) Should be a fun weekend of baseball as the team couldn't look better and Miller Park will be close to full all three games. Exciting times. Now I'm no math genius, but I'm pretty sure the Brewers are currently on pace for 87 wins which puts them right in the thick of things come September. It's early and all, but this isn't the drop off people were predicting and there is definitely room to grow (like if Tiger Beat Hardy could remember how to hit.) Anyways, have fun out there this weekend, we'll be back Monday. Go Crew.

Oh, I guess you also want to know who the winner of the contest for the free tickets to the 5/13 game against the Florida Marlins is. Well congratulations go out to Kari O'neil of Wisconsin. As the winner of this contest you win the two tickets and if you would like the free space to complain/whine/brag/celebrate or whatever about anything you'd like right here on the site. As long as it's Brewers related. I don't want to hear about how big of an asshole your ex-boyfriend was (unless, of course, your ex-boyfriend is JJ Hardy in which case I want to sign you to a book deal.) You may also get the pleasure of sharing a drink with me at this game, although that perk is TBA at the moment.

Thanks to everyone who became a fan or follows us on Twitter. We'll keep bringing the fun as long as you keep reading it.


29
Apr 09

So here’s the deal…

TWITTERI am going to the game today so there won't be any updates. What there will be is drunken tweeting. It's all the fun of Miller Park Drunk without the spelling, grammar, capitalization and links with the added bonus of drunk texting. My ex-girlfriend hated it, but I'm sure you will LOVE IT. (Then again, I was sure she would love it too.) You can follow us or just check out this post right here as we've set it up to post live (I think). This could be awesome or it might suck, either way: it's free.


28
Apr 09

Chat transcript

I have sources inside Miller Park. I don't like to brag about this, but I do. One of my sources tipped me off today about the Ryan Braun/John Hirschbeck conversation after Braun was hit squarely in the back yesterday. Here for your reading pleasure is inside access that you won't find anywhere else, the complete chat transcript between Ryan Braun, umpire John Hirschbeck and Ken Macha.

Ryan Braun Hold me back, man. Hold me back.
John Hirschbeck Calm down take your base.

/warns both teams

Relax.

Ryan Braun I ain't a killer but don't push me.
John Hirschbeck Okay, take your base.
Ryan Braun Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to getting pussy.
John Hirschbeck Come on Ryan, just take the base. Let's not make this worse than it is.
Ryan Braun My adversaries crumble when we rumble. It's a catastrophe.
John Hirschbeck Are you just quoting 2pac songs?
Ryan Braun Bust him to see if he bleed, he shoulda never messed around with a sick-ass ninja like me. They call my name out and ninjas run.
John Hirschbeck Do you even have the uncensored version?
Ryan Braun ...
Brewers Macha Baseball WESTSIDE!!!!!1
Brewers Macha Baseball THUG LIFE BAY-BEEEE!

ARF! ARF!

John Hirschbeck /sighs

At least nobody spit in my face.


24
Apr 09

71, seriously? That’s it?

Alright, that just about wraps things up for this week. This weekend's series against the Astros should be good as Minute Maid Park is a good place to hit home runs and that's just about our biggest strength. I don't think I'm going out on a limb here when I say one of the three games will feature 10 runs scored by a single team. I need to take a couple days off to figure out what has happened in my life that led me to thinking that writing as if I was Alyssa Milano was not only a good idea, but would be a lot of fun. I'm no doctor, but something doesn't seem quite right there.

Have a good weekend and if you haven't already Become a Fan of Miller Park Drunk on facebook. So far only 71 people have done so which really doesn't make any sense considering we are giving away two free good seats. Seriously, do it already and while you're at it Follow Us on Twitter. Look at all the fun we've been having on facebook and Twitter. It's what all the cool kids are doing.

"Guess he's due for a 10 run inning now"

"If you're not willing to hug Mike Cameron when you're sober, I feel you may want to rethink your entire post."

"douchebaggery at its finest."

"@millerparkdrunk so how do I become the "official liquor store" of @millerparkdrunk?"

"@millerparkdrunk and don't get so drunk you take out the margarita stand.... Just another tid bit to add. I'm still hurtin lol"

"@millerparkdrunk I agree with you...classless, we're suppose to be showing them how to act"

Clearly, we're having a great time and you are missing out.

Out, peace.


17
Apr 09

You know what? Screw that dude

Forrest GumpThe more I think about that guy, the more pissed off I am. Like, really pissed off. He's making me, as a Brewers fan, look bad. He's making this site look bad because like it or not this is the home for drunken Brewers fans, even the douche-y ones. (It goes like this: drunk fans/Miller Park Drunk, smart sabermetric inclined fans/Brew Crew Ball, older Republican fans/Al's Ramblings, Mentally challenged fans/JSOnline.) Make no mistake about it, this guy is one of the douche-y ones. He might be in the Brewers fan Hall of Douche next to Favre jersey guy. Listen, I am all for a good prank. I am all for fucking with Cubs fans. The thing is I am more the kind of guys who says "Hey, Cubs fan. They are giving away free Captain Morgan in section 227" and watching them run like someone threw apples at Forrest Gump. In fact, "my balls" and "other people" has never really been something I was interested in. I hate the flying squirrel, the goat, the bat wing, all of that. It's just not my style and while this dude's friends may have thought it was funny at the time, I can guaran-damn-tee you that about 15 seconds later they realized there was nowhere for their buddy to wash his hands. Then about 2 minutes after that they forgot all about his lack of hand washing and went back to giving him high fives. So, now this dbag is not only spreading his ball sweat amongst Cubs fans he is spreading it among his friends who are then spreading it throughout the stadium as they give high fives to strangers after a Corey Hart home run. Basically, I was at Opening Day and touched this guy's balls. The guy is wearing an old school jersey with a new logo hat, he obviously doesn't have the presence of mind to wash his freaking hands. Do I look like I want to touch his balls? In the original post I was less concerned with showing the video than letting my readers know that this idiot was not me. Clearly, I want nothing to do with the guy's balls.

The thing is, Cubs fan have enough problems at Miller Park. They have to wait in short lines to go to the bathroom, they can't chant "____ field sucks" at eachother, they can actually park at the stadium, it's harder to hit and/or molest girls in the bleachers, they can't drink Old Style and perhaps worst of all, most of their seats aren't obstructed. They don't need someone giving them a ball sweat handshake. More importantly, neither do we.