I am going to the game today so there won't be any updates. What there will be is drunken tweeting. It's all the fun of Miller Park Drunk without the spelling, grammar, capitalization and links with the added bonus of drunk texting. My ex-girlfriend hated it, but I'm sure you will LOVE IT. (Then again, I was sure she would love it too.) You can follow us or just check out this post right here as we've set it up to post live (I think). This could be awesome or it might suck, either way: it's free.
I have sources inside Miller Park. I don't like to brag about this, but I do. One of my sources tipped me off today about the Ryan Braun/John Hirschbeck conversation after Braun was hit squarely in the back yesterday. Here for your reading pleasure is inside access that you won't find anywhere else, the complete chat transcript between Ryan Braun, umpire John Hirschbeck and Ken Macha.
|Hold me back, man. Hold me back.|
|Calm down take your base.
/warns both teams
|I ain't a killer but don't push me.|
|Okay, take your base.|
|Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to getting pussy.|
|Come on Ryan, just take the base. Let's not make this worse than it is.|
|My adversaries crumble when we rumble. It's a catastrophe.|
|Are you just quoting 2pac songs?|
|Bust him to see if he bleed, he shoulda never messed around with a sick-ass ninja like me. They call my name out and ninjas run.|
|Do you even have the uncensored version?|
|THUG LIFE BAY-BEEEE!
At least nobody spit in my face.
Alright, that just about wraps things up for this week. This weekend's series against the Astros should be good as Minute Maid Park is a good place to hit home runs and that's just about our biggest strength. I don't think I'm going out on a limb here when I say one of the three games will feature 10 runs scored by a single team. I need to take a couple days off to figure out what has happened in my life that led me to thinking that writing as if I was Alyssa Milano was not only a good idea, but would be a lot of fun. I'm no doctor, but something doesn't seem quite right there.
Have a good weekend and if you haven't already Become a Fan of Miller Park Drunk on facebook. So far only 71 people have done so which really doesn't make any sense considering we are giving away two free good seats. Seriously, do it already and while you're at it Follow Us on Twitter. Look at all the fun we've been having on facebook and Twitter. It's what all the cool kids are doing.
"Guess he's due for a 10 run inning now"
"If you're not willing to hug Mike Cameron when you're sober, I feel you may want to rethink your entire post."
"douchebaggery at its finest."
"@millerparkdrunk and don't get so drunk you take out the margarita stand.... Just another tid bit to add. I'm still hurtin lol"
"@millerparkdrunk I agree with you...classless, we're suppose to be showing them how to act"
Clearly, we're having a great time and you are missing out.
The more I think about that guy, the more pissed off I am. Like, really pissed off. He's making me, as a Brewers fan, look bad. He's making this site look bad because like it or not this is the home for drunken Brewers fans, even the douche-y ones. (It goes like this: drunk fans/Miller Park Drunk, smart sabermetric inclined fans/Brew Crew Ball, older Republican fans/Al's Ramblings, Mentally challenged fans/JSOnline.) Make no mistake about it, this guy is one of the douche-y ones. He might be in the Brewers fan Hall of Douche next to Favre jersey guy. Listen, I am all for a good prank. I am all for fucking with Cubs fans. The thing is I am more the kind of guys who says "Hey, Cubs fan. They are giving away free Captain Morgan in section 227" and watching them run like someone threw apples at Forrest Gump. In fact, "my balls" and "other people" has never really been something I was interested in. I hate the flying squirrel, the goat, the bat wing, all of that. It's just not my style and while this dude's friends may have thought it was funny at the time, I can guaran-damn-tee you that about 15 seconds later they realized there was nowhere for their buddy to wash his hands. Then about 2 minutes after that they forgot all about his lack of hand washing and went back to giving him high fives. So, now this dbag is not only spreading his ball sweat amongst Cubs fans he is spreading it among his friends who are then spreading it throughout the stadium as they give high fives to strangers after a Corey Hart home run. Basically, I was at Opening Day and touched this guy's balls. The guy is wearing an old school jersey with a new logo hat, he obviously doesn't have the presence of mind to wash his freaking hands. Do I look like I want to touch his balls? In the original post I was less concerned with showing the video than letting my readers know that this idiot was not me. Clearly, I want nothing to do with the guy's balls.
The thing is, Cubs fan have enough problems at Miller Park. They have to wait in short lines to go to the bathroom, they can't chant "____ field sucks" at eachother, they can actually park at the stadium, it's harder to hit and/or molest girls in the bleachers, they can't drink Old Style and perhaps worst of all, most of their seats aren't obstructed. They don't need someone giving them a ball sweat handshake. More importantly, neither do we.
We launched this site in early February as a little something fun to do while putting off productivity. Since then we have had over 5,750 pass through the doors in just over two months and the readership continues to grow. This is obviously beyond our wildest expectations for whatever this site could be and we thank everyone for your support. As a way to give back to our readers we are going to be giving away two tickets to the Wednesday May 13 game against the Florida Marlins. These won't be Terrace Reserved tickets, they will be actual good seats. The drawing will be completely random and is open to the first 250 people who become a fan of Miller Park Drunk on facebook. Depending on the turnout we may add a second prize after 250, but for now we'll leave it at this. There is no catch here, just us giving back to our readership. The drawing will take place on May 1 where we will announce the winner in enough time to mail your tickets. Maybe the winner will even get to have a drink with us at the game.
So, like, become a fan already.
(If this game is not good for you or you live outside of Wisconsin we can work something else out, but you have to win before we get to all that.)
UPDATE: Forgot to mention that we are now on Twitter. Do us a favor and promote this contest by tweeting "@MillerParkDrunk Just entered Miller Park Drunk's ticket giveaway http://tinyurl.com/dba27a for 2 free GOOD seats" and follow us.