14
Sep 11

Prince Fielder and Nyjer Morgan are mean meanies

In a desperate attempt to stay relevant Sports Illustrated polled 215 MLB players asking them who the "meanest player in baseball" was. I'm unsure of what Sports Illustrated used to define mean, but based on the top 10 it's probably just a poll of "who do you think is an asshole?" Here is that top 10:

  1. AJ Pierzynski (natch)
  2. Chase Utley (Really? But he's so cute)
  3. Milton Bradley
  4. Carlos Zambrano (Seriously, how big of an upset is Big Z and Bradley going behind Utley? That dude must eat babies.)
  5. Vicente Padilla (Who?)
  6. Alex Rodriguez (received 24 votes, all from the Yankees)
  7. Chris Carpenter
  8. Albert Pujols (Two Cardinals? I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you.)
  9. Nyjer Morgan
  10. Kevin Youkilis (Once again, the Yankees outdo the Red Sox.)

And #13.... Prince Fielder.

Two Brewers in the top 15. Does this mean that we have arrived? I mean, there are also two Yankees, two Red Sox and two Cardinals in the top 15 as well and the only true test of success is how many people hate you. You never hear anyone saying "I hate the Astros" because nobody gives a crap about the Astros. They're just there and then they trade some players to the Phillies and then they're still just there. That's their role. We can't hate them because they don't do anything for us. The Brewers existed in a similar bubble throughout the 90's and maybe, just maybe they have finally broken out of that bubble and other teams are starting to hate us because of how good we are.

Or maybe Prince and Nyjer are just a couple of assholes. Continue reading →


13
Sep 10

MPD Book Review: How to Finish Near Last Place with the Highest Payroll in the League

When the press release for Jim Hendry's new book How to Finish Near Last Place with the Highest Payroll in the League was first circulated through the Miller Park press box this past weekend it was widely thought to be a hoax by someone attempting to be funny and probably not an all together good attempt at that. So imagine our surprise when in our inbox we received a copy of the new book for review. It's not nearly long (or good) enough to write a lengthy review on and at times we had trouble reading the Comic Sans font the book was written in, but it is... interesting and is probably the closest we'll ever get to an "inside view" of the general manager position by an acting (for now) GM.

The book opens with a foreword by Lou Piniella that starts off nice enough thanking Jim Hendry for the opportunity to write for the foreword and also to manage Cubs, but after about two sentences it quickly devolves into an airing of grievances against everyone in baseball who has ever slighted him. By the last paragraph every sentence is typed in all-caps with multiple profanities interlaced within. The foreword ends, tellingly perhaps, with Piniella writing:

AND F*CK YOU TOO STEVE STONE LETS SEE YOU MANAGE A F*CKING TEAM.

HOPE YOU ENJOY THEĀ  F*CKING BOOK, BUT I'M NOT GONNA F*CKING READ IT.

Surprisingly when Hendry takes over the book doesn't change very much in tone from Piniella's foreword. Each chapter addresses a common complaint among fans about his work with an impassioned defense of the move followed by a "summary" of the point he was trying to make. While it may sound unnecessary, it is very helpful as Hendry has trouble making his points and often loses sight of the original topic by going into tangents about those "a-holes in the bleachers" and various local radio DJs.

I won't spoil all of the summaries, but I will cover a few of the ones that were leaked in the press release. Continue reading →


16
Mar 10

CUBBIES SEASON PREVEIW

So I know what I said before about never coming back, but I just couldn't help myself when it comes to the 2010 Cubbies. The Cubs are too damn good NOT to write on the internet about! This Is The Year. Plus, I couldn't stand the thought of that douchebag Vince writing some stupid crap like "we don't think the Cubs are that good this season". Hey buttface, it's only you! There is no we! 'We' would imply you had friends, which you don't.

Before I get to the Cubs, I want to say a few things about some of the things that have been going on at this god forsaken site lately.

  • I don't see what everyone's problem with Ryan Braun's restaurant hiring good looking people. We do this in Chicago all the time. You know why? Because if we hired a fat girl to work at Giordano's she'd eat all the pizza!
  • Here's something I actually agreed with, the Opening Day post. I love Opening Day because I can go down to Wrigley Field about 8am and start doing Jager bombs. I usually get so drunk I totally miss the game, lol. One time my boy Danno got so wasted he got thrown out of the bleachers. That's like getting arrested in jail. Classic. I never miss Opening Day.
  • You people in Milwaukee have some crappy tattoos. You need to get some cool barbed wire around your muscle like me. You'd probably have to stop eating cheese and actually work out to do that though. NEVERMIND!
  • Finally, this pro wrestling post may be the most pathetic thing I've ever seen. What's next, MPD? What Star Trek characters are Brewers? What Dungeons N Dragons guys are Brewers? What Brewer would be the best at World of Warcraft? Way to show your nerd colors, nerd.

Enough of this stupid Brewer talk because the BREWERS SUCKKKK!. Let's talk about a real baseball team. Let's talk about YOUR CHICAGO CUBBIES! Continue reading →


12
Apr 09

A quick word about tonight’s game

I just got home from tonight's game (I actually went to all three this weekend) and had one quick thought about tonight's game. I don't want to talk about Soup or my boyfriend Rickie, I just want to say one thing.

If Milton Bradley doesn't get hurt, Prince Fielder hits a grand slam and we have a completely different baseball game. Reed Johnson won this game for the Cubs, hands down. Why didn't Piniella move Fukudome to RF and have Reed play CF, a preferable defensive alignment, when he came in? Dumb luck. Not only was it dumb luck, it's a perfect example of Reed Johnson making Piniella look like a genius (instead of the three pitchers in one inning, two days in a row at the beginning of April guy he is).

The score says 8-5 and it counts as a loss, but watching the game and seeing the things that happened give me no reason to worry.

Except for Suppan, what is up with him?

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