Tag Archives: milwaukee brewers

The last days of Prince Fielder and Corey Hart?

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I can't seem to turn on the internet machine without seeing pictures of cute kittens something about Corey Hart and Prince Fielder being traded from the Milwaukee Brewers. Every baseball writer, analyst, talking head and fan thinks that it's important for the Brewers to trade Prince Fielder and Corey Hart. Right now. Corey, because he's hot and will never be hotter (which apparently people who are paid to evaluate talent won't realize, haha suckers!), and Prince because he's good and he's probably not going to re-sign with the team when he becomes a free agent in 2012. This has a certain amount of logic to it and if the Brewers get the right deal then they should probably do it, but I would be  really surprised if one or both was traded during the season.

The reason I believe this lies in the fangraphs post from today by Jack Moore titled "What the Milwaukee Brewers Should Do" (which is weird because it never actually says what they should do), in the post Jack writes:

the contracts of Jeff Suppan, Trevor Hoffman, Bill Hall, David Weathers, Jody Gerut, Craig Counsell, Claudio Vargas, Jim Edmonds, Dave Bush, David Riske, and Gregg Zaun coming off the books, the Brewers will clear around $45 million in salary for next season. If Fielder and Hart are traded, that would be another $15 million cleared. The Brewers will see some raises for arbitration eligible players, but they should have a lot of money to play with in 2011.

Jesus, the Brewers are paying more people not to be with them than Larry King.

With all that money coming off the books as is, there is no need to get Prince and Corey off the books. If the goal is to build this team for a run in 2011, a run that they are totally capable of making, then there is no rush to trade two of the team's best three hitters unless they bring back someone who can significantly help them now. I'm talking a top of the line starter with arbitration years left. I'm talking Yovani Gallardo: the squeakquel.

Trading away Prince and Corey because of the team's poor play this season in return for prospects that won't help this team win next year is a stupid, stupid decision and guess what? Doug Melvin knows that. He'll listen, but he needs to be blown away and I'm not sure there's anyone out there willing to blow him away. At least not during the season. It's why he's a good GM.

/dodges tomatoes

Hey everybody, we’re all getting laid Tuesday May 25th!

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Do you like the Brewers?

Do you like getting laid?

Are you single (or will you pretend to be)?

Do you have $40?

Well, have I got the deal for you! Check out what I just found this on the Brewers official website:

For only $40, get a Dew Deck ticket, which includes a pre-game buffet and two drinks per person, plus the opportunity to mix and mingle with Milwaukee-area singles!

    DEW DECK BUFFET MENU FEATURES:
  • Grilled Bratwurst with Sauerkraut
  • Hot Dogs
  • Chicken Breast Sandwiches
  • Hamburgers
  • Lettuce, Tomato, and Pickle Platters
  • Pasta Salad
  • Assorted Cookies
  • Soft drinks
  • Two beers per adult

Would it be wrong to buy all the available tickets and put them on stubhub for 5x face value? The Brewers are basically guaranteeing that you get laid here! $40 makes me feel like I'm practically stealing from them. You can't even get a hooker in Costa Rica for that price.

Look we all know that the key to a woman's heart isn't actually a key, but more like a math equation. That equation? Continue reading »

I never want to hear Hell’s Bells again

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Last night I watched the Milwaukee Bucks come back from a double digit deficit in the fourth quarter to steal game 5 in Atlanta, breaking a 14 game home winning streak for the Hawks and setting the Bucks up to close the series out Friday in Milwaukee. Despite them being down I never stopped believing that they could win and they proved me right.

Yesterday during the day I had the same feeling except it was the exact opposite. Sitting in my seat at Miller Park with the Brewers leading our hated rival Pirates 4-3 in the bottom of the eighth I prayed for runs. I'm not a religious man, I once told someone that I was sick of Jesus c-blocking me all the time, but I still got down on my knees and prayed for a four run lead. Why? I didn't want to hear Hell's Bells. I didn't want Trevor Hoffman to come in for the save. I wanted Suppan or Vargas, anyone but Trevor.

In 2009 "Hell's Bells" was the best time you could have at a Brewers game. In 2010 it sends people heading for the exits with their heads down. It makes an optimistic fan like myself break a cheese fries helmet and try to slit his wrist. Except it's not really fear. I wasn't afraid that Trevor Hoffman would blow the save, I knew Trevor Hoffman would blow the save. Not only did I know that he would blow the save I knew how he would do it too, I knew he'd give up a homerun. Probably to the first batter of the inning. What happened? Well, he gave up a homerun to the first batter and blew the save. Of course he did and it was at that moment that I realized I never want to hear "Hell's Bells" again in my life and that I think I hate Trevor Hoffman. Continue reading »

Mr. Brightside says “At least this happened”

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Well that sucked. Getting swept is never fun, especially when Miller Park is filled with people cheering for that sweep. Unlike most losses there wasn't really a moment you could point to in any of the three games that they had a chance to win in. They just got beat, badly.

On the bright side this happened:

A spectator fell about 14 feet from the lower level in left field while the Cubs took batting practice about an hour before their game with the Milwaukee Brewers.

The man wearing Cubs gear and believed to be in his 20s was reaching out over the railing down the left field line attempting to catch foul balls on Sunday when he tumbled headfirst over the rail and onto the hard dirt below.

Unfortunately there were no pictures or video taken of the incident. Instead of filling in you in with details and writing all about it, we decided to get lazy and use bad photshopping skills hire an artist to recreate what happened. Enjoy. Continue reading »

Milwaukee Brewers tattoos

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Sometimes I get the weird desire to google something and then just see what happens. Sometimes it's sexual in nature like "cat peeing on boobs" and sometimes it's to actually learn something like "what the hell is a milliarcsecond". Other times, times like today I decide to search something that I may be able to use on the site. Today I googled: "brewers tattoo". Here's what I found:

(via)

For the Brewers fan who likes the Brewers, but also likes smoking a ton of pot. Continue reading »