A lot of people ask me why we don't update the site as regularly as we used to. Sometimes there will be a post for every day of the week and other times a whole week will go by with nothing. Are we tired of doing the site? Are you too busy? Are we lazy? The truth is that we (why do I always do that? Everyone knows it's only me, but I still call it we all the time. Stupid deadspin.), I don't like to write stuff unless *I* think that it's good. Unless I was the reader and I would enjoy reading it. Sometimes this means that we go a week or more without anything and sometimes that last thing that went up wasn't that good. It's just the way it is. Luckily, I have the luxury to do that because I own my own site and I do this mainly as a hobby. Other people are not so lucky and have to post, whether they feel inclined or not. Luckily for them, they can just post the news and don't really need to be "creative" in their writing. We don't do the news, therefore we can get away with posting sporadically. That's a good rule, I think. People who do the news, should do the news and do it often. People who do the more creative stuff, should do creative stuff and take their time. The problem becomes when the news people try to do the creative stuff because most of the time it doesn't turn out well. Like David Caruso trying to act in movies or Corey Hart trying to pull out.
Take for instance this "poem" by KLSnow of Brew Crew Ball. Now, I like KL Snow. I'm his friend on facebook (not that I've ever commented on anything he posts (I don't really know and/or care about macaroni and cheese recipes or his wiener dog, but that's nothing personal against him. Just the way it is.) and since our inception he has given us a lot of link love (almost 9500 to date), but that poem is bad. Really bad. An EPIC FAIL as the kids would say. Let's read it again, FJM style: Continue reading »
The Brewers are moving to Orlando and I don't know about you guys, but I'm going with them. Think about it. Disney World! Universal Studios! Epcot Center! The Brewers! Throw in Wesley Snipes from Demolition Man a cute girl from my class and it's like my grade school wet dream. I am going to miss all of you, but I think myself and the team will be much happier there. Nice weather, good team, good location. How could this possibly go wrong?
I have a question for the male readers of the site. Have you ever been pondering the offseason moves of the Brewers and thought to yourself "I am glad they re-signed Craig Counsell, he's kinda hot"? I mean, everyone has had that conversation with a friend that starts like "I know you're not gay, but..." and you immediately yell out "DONNIE FROM NEW KIDS!", right? And then after having that conversation you continue on to "Okay I know you are totally straight and stuff, but which Brewers player would you have sex with if you had to?" No? You've never had that conversation with one of your buddies? Not even once? Really? Well, I guess I'll just have to tell you about it then because Tyler and I have had that conversation many, many times and we'd like to share one with you. Why? Because we are so totally okay with our sexuality that we don't care who reads it! We don't care if the guys we are writing about making sweet love to us read it, we want them to! So, like, forward this to them. Please.
Vince: Hey Tyler, I've got a question for you that's been bothering me for awhile and I want your opinion on it. If you had to have sex with a member of the Milwaukee Brewers, who would it be? Continue reading »
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and most of you are probably already checked out for the holiday, but just in case you are like me and completely irresponsible, waiting til Christmas Eve to buy anyone anything than I have a list for you. I can't tell you what anyone wants (probably something involving their cellphone), but I can tell you what they DON'T want. So here's 10 Christmas gifts you shouldn't get for that Brewers fan in your life, don't worry there is still time to return it! Continue reading »
Sometimes I wonder why I even watch this god awful sport. The World Series champion New York Yankees, the richest team in any sport that have a value almost 5x that of the Milwaukee Brewers, have stolen another one from the poor, stupid teams like us. Mike Rivera has signed with the New York Yankees and I think we all know what this one was about. These stupid baseball players, all they care about is money! You know it's not enough to offer a major league job and a nice city to play in, these greedy a-holes want more. MONEY, MONEY, MONEY! Why do I even bother to follow this team? Why do I even write this stupid blog? I mean, it's not like the players care! Nooooooo, they just go to whoever offers them the most money. Mike Rivera doesn't care if I get diagnosed with a life threatening disease and the only thing that can cure me is him re-signing with the Brewers, all he cares about is padding his wallet! NEW YORK NEW YORK! THE CITY THAT NEVER F'N SLEEPS! WHERE MONEY RAINS FROM THE SKY AND YOU CAN TAKE YOUR DRIVER'S TEST IN 400 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES! Man, screw New York. Seriously, New York you can f right off.
It's just sad, you know, that a small market team like the Brewers can't compete dollar for dollar with a team like the Yankees. Kids grow up rooting for their heroes, but as soon as their heroes become free agents they leave the kids behind. (It's just like my parents divorce really.) Whatever. CONGRATULATIONS MIKE RIVERA I hope you are happy to know that you have ruined my Christmas with your evil, greedy ways. The Mike Rivera jersey I got from Santa is now kindling in my fire! Thanks for nothing, JERK!
EDIT: It appears that Mike Rivera was actually non-tendered by the Brewers who didn't want him back and he signed a minor league deal with the Yankees. So, sorry about that Mike. I take it back.