Tag Archives: milwaukee brewers

The New King of Milwaukee: Jonathan Lucroy

Posted on by

POP QUIZ HOTSHOT: Who leads the 2012 Milwaukee Brewers in OPS?

ANSWER: Ryan Braun, duh. Who else would it be?

The answer to that question is not surprising. Ryan Braun is the man. He's one of the best hitters in the league and one of the best hitters the Milwaukee Brewers franchise has ever seen. So, yeah, duh. No big surprise there.

What has surprised us though is who the Brewers second most valuable player has been because that guy is someone that we didn't see coming. That guy has always been a valuable member of the franchise, but it's never been anything quite like this. That guy has become the most popular player on the team and the new king of Milwaukee. That guy is Jonathan Lucroy.

I know, I can't believe it either. (I wanted it to be you Rickie. Sorry if the pressure got to you.)

In a season where everything seems to go wrong for the Milwaukee Brewers, everything has seemed to go right for Jonathan Lucroy. His outs come at times when the Brewers don't need him and his hits seem to come exactly when they do. Every ball he hits hard finds its way between the outfielders and every time he steps up with runners on they end up scoring. He's gritty and clutch and "a gamer" and all those other things people like to write about. (And, omg, he is so dreamy.) Jonathan Lucroy is absolutely killing it right now. I can't explain why it's happening. Baseball is a crazy game and these things just happen sometime so we should all just enjoy this while it lasts because who knows when it will end. Okay?

This isn't the part where we talk about advanced stats and do that whole thing. This is the part where we enjoy it. Continue reading »

FJM: Milwaukee Brewers, Fire Sale Time?

Posted on by

At some point in this site's history I joined the Yardbarker network and because I did that I had to put this little link box thing that you see on the right side of this page with some relevant links to other Milwaukee Brewers content on their network. I was told if I did this that I would get more hits, more exposure and more money. While I'm still waiting on basically all of those things I have still had the chance to check out some other Brewers websites that I normally wouldn't have otherwise. Why wouldn't I have read them you ask? Because they are not good, that's why. I don't know nearly enough about Yardbarker to make judgements on them, but from what I've seen regarding the Brewers they will basically let anyone become a member of their network.

One of these sites would be LosersBracket which seems like your basic "pictures of hot girls mixed with sports opinions" site. Kind of a poor man's Busted Coverage. These sites are great because you don't really need to have any knowledge of sports to run one and you'll still get hits because omgboobz. I would normally just ignore their content, but sometimes someone writes something so bad, so dumb, so devoid of intelligence that you have to do something to it. You have to FJM it. Continue reading »

10 Reasons You Should Stop Worrying About the Brewers

Posted on by

There is a good chance the Milwaukee Brewers 2012 season is cursed. I mean, what other possible explanation is there for all of the injuries they have suffered lately? Was Miller Park built on an Indian burial ground and the lost souls are having their revenge? Did Ron Roenicke date a witch? Or maybe the Brewers left a crappy tip for their waitress at Buffalo Wild Wings and now the guy from the commercial (who has a crush on said waitress) is getting his revenge on the team? I've searched high and low for an answer to what is happening to this team right now, but I'm not having much luck finding an answer that makes sense.

To make matters worse they haven't been winning, going 3-7 over their last ten games. The losses haven't been pretty either. Shut out by Jeff Suppan. The Dillard game aka the first true "Fire Ron Roenicke" game of the season. Yesterday's homerun derby. Don't even get me started on the road trips to Atlanta and St. Louis. Its been crappy, no fun and the opposite of Batman.

But does that mean the Brewers are done? Are they doomed? Should they start selling their assets and building for the future? Is it time to give up? The answer to these questions and more is: No, are you frickin' kidding me? To prove my point here is ten reasons why you should relax: Continue reading »

Local Man Finds Milwaukee Brewers Woes Accurately Reflect His Own Personal Failures

Posted on by

RACINE, WI -- While Milwaukee Brewers fans statewide are trying to figure out what exactly is going on with their local baseball team's string of bad luck, there is one local man who saw it all coming and claims that the Milwaukee Brewers recent troubles are an accurate reflection of every bad thing that has happened to him in his life.

"Baseball is supposed to be an escape, you know? Something fun to take you away from all the bad things happening in your life, but not this year," said Josh Stevens, 35, who is between jobs right now and not really sure how he's going to pay last month's rent. "Everything that has happened to the Brewers this year just reminds me more and more how much of a mess I've made of my life."

"It actually started last year when he broke up with his girlfriend Anna," his roommate Chaz confirmed, "she dumped him right before the playoffs started and he kept saying that if the Brewers won the World Series they would get back together, but we all know that didn't happen. I don't think she even talks to him anymore."

Stevens reportedly started feeling better as the season began, but that ray of light in his life quickly diminished when he was fired from his job at Culver's just days after the Brewers lost their season opening series to the Cardinals, losing two games to one by a combined score of 20-14.

"I had tickets to two of the first three games and I had to work the other day. Guess which day that was? Oh, and I had to sit next to a bunch of Cardinal fans which made it even worse," Stevens admitted that he realizes that it is a long season and losses happen, but the series just completely drained him of any hope. "I went into work Monday and my boss told me that I was working the register, like he didn't even ask and I didn't want to do it after the weekend I'd just had so I told him no way. Then he just started freaking out on me about acting immature or something and then he fired me for no reason. I mean, who acts like that? I tried to tell him I had a bad weekend, but he didn't care. Nobody ever does."

When reached for comment his former manager noted that he was "36 and working the grill at Culver's. I truly hope he gets his life together."

While Stevens believes the Brewers woes align with his failures, their success does not seem to have the same effect on his personal life. According to a source close to Stevens it is quite the opposite.

"I wanted to cheer him up after losing his job so I took him to the Brewers game where they beat the Dodgers in extra innings which was a great game to be at. My company has great season tickets so I used those and we tailgated before too," his step brother Marcus, a 26 year old engineer, told us "but then as soon as we sit down he sees a girl that he thinks is his ex-girlfriend with her boyfriend two rows down. He went catatonic, like Cameron in Ferris Bueller style catatonic. I tried to get him to chill out, but he wouldn't. I didn't get it. Like they only really dated for a couple of months and she wasn't even that good looking, but there he was crying like a baby. The sad part is I don't even think it was her."

The pain didn't stop there for Stevens either. When the Brewers lost starting pitcher Chris Narveson for the season with a rotator cuff injury, Stevens suffered an injury of his own.

"I was trying to help my mom clean her gutters, you know help her out for a couple extra bucks, when I reach into one and cut my hand on the metal. There was blood everywhere and I coulda sworn I needed a tetanus shot," Stevens, who is still looking for work if anyone knows of anything, said "I asked my mom to take me to the hospital for stitches, but she just gave me a band-aid. That's when I told her to forget about it and to clean her own gutters. Forget that. She never even paid me for the work I did before I got hurt either."

To make matters worse for Stevens, Milwaukee also lost its first baseman Mat Gamel. Stevens owns a Mat Gamel shirsey that he claims "wasn't cheap" and says he had a lot invested in the young hitter this season.

"Prince leaving last season reminded me a lot of when my dad left me when I was a kid. I was hoping Gamel could step in and fill the void he left, but once he went down injured I knew it wasn't going to happen. He's just like Marcus's dad Ken. He always played catch with Marcus, but never with me. I'm not jealous or anything, but it just wasn't right you know?"

Stevens, wearing sweatpants in public, says that he isn't too optimistic about the Brewers playoff chances this season or his chances of finding a new job. Or a new girlfriend for that matter.

"What's the point, really? Why try? Look at Mat Gamel he tried to catch a foul ball and he tears his ACL. Season over. You put yourself out there and you get burned. I gave my heart to Anna and I gave my blood, sweat and tears to Culver's and where did it get me? Nowhere. If I was the Brewers I would just stop playing now. Suppan shut you out, just give up. Trying isn't worth it. Trust me."

FREE FANTASY BASEBALL WITH CASH PRIZES THIS FRIDAY! DON'T MISS IT!

Hey, Miller Park Drunk has launched a clothing line that is unlike any Brewers clothing line you have seen before. Why? It is actually cool. So if you are tired of wearing the same old Brewers gear check out Hip Drunk: a stylish approach to Brewers apparel.

The Best of #WeLoveAx

Posted on by

Well, I'd be lying if I said that #WeLoveAx wasn't the worldwide phenomena that I expected it to be. I mean, you would think saying something nice about one of the best players on your favorite baseball team in a 140 characters or less would be a no-brainer, but apparently not. If there is one thing I've learned in life it's that I do not look good in a thong some people just don't like to do fun stuff. It's like when my old roommate's co-worker came over to our place to borrow something and when I asked him if he wanted a beer he said "You know I'm only 20 right?" Like wouldn't that make you want a beer even more? Does this look like a frickin' bar to you? What are you a cop or something? Relax, dude. That's kind of what this was like. Or maybe it's like Monday night's game when I was walking across the bridge, drunk, celebrating a Brewers win and trying to get a "YES!" chant started. Nobody wanted to do it. They were all content to just walk across the bridge quietly, talking amongst themselves. I don't get it. The Brewers won. We should celebrate and chanting "YES!" is really fun! Really. Go ahead, try it. I'll wait here.

(still waiting)

That's how it is for some people though. They might be afraid of ruining their blog's twitter's "integrity" (kill yourself) or maybe they have such low self esteem that they are worried John Axford will reply to them and tell them they are dumb for saying that (he won't.) Who knows. Or maybe people just thought MY idea was stupid which is totally missing the point. It is stupid, but the point is: just stop thinking about everything so much and be nice. People tweet mean things at John Axford and if you don't like that you should tweet something nice at him to overcome that. It's only 140 characters, it won't kill you.

With that little rant over I want to thank all of you who did participate. I now present to you a few of my favorites. Continue reading »