|Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to the newest member of the Milwaukee Brewers, Felipe Lopez!|
|Hey guys, what's up? I'm happy to be here.|
|Uhhh, hi. Casey McGehee, right? I think you're a great ball player.|
|HABLA INGLESIAS?! Continue reading →|
Remember last year when everyone on facebook was doing that "25 Things" list and then tagging you and trying to get you to do it? Yeah, I never did that. Big League Stew did a baseball related one earlier this year, but we weren't well enough known to be asked (yeah, that's why I'm sure of it). Well, in the interest of always trying different things and lack of any great ideas for our 200th POST we decided to participate. Here's what we came up with.
- I don't own a single bobblehead and I never have. If I did get one I am pretty sure I would sell it. Unless it was the Jeff Suppan bobblehead because that has no value.
- Before the season I told my friends that I would meet my next girlfriend at Miller Park. Thus far this has not happened. (I blame Ryan Braun.)
- When I was a kid I went to a Brewers game and got a foul ball via some Happy Youngster-esque means (batting practice+glove+ball out of reach=glove/belt combo) then later got it signed by two players: Fernando Vina and Derek Jeter. I may have been too old to have that glove, but I know that now and knowing is half the battle. The ball is still around here somewhere.
- I have an unhealthy man crush on Ichiro Suzuki and can often be seen in a Mariners hat. This does not change the way I feel about the Brewers.
- My main influences for Miller Park Drunk are Bill Simmons (like everyone who writes about sports on the internet), Deadspin, Kissing Suzy Kolber and The Dugout, but I would never be here if it wasn't for Scotsmanality (this probably best describes it, this is where Scotsman is now). He always did what you didn't expect him to do and that's something I always try to remember. He did, however, tell me not to start this blog so it's not like he's a genius or anything.
- I HATE the Yankees more than any team in any sport. When my son was born a friend of his mother purchased a baby Yankees jersey for him and I told her that it would "never, ever touch his skin as long as I was alive with the possible exception of being used as a baby wipe." This didn't go over well and led to an enormous fight that I am likely still feeling the effect of, but was the absolute truth and to my knowledge has never happened.
- Honestly? I never considered myself a "true" Brewers fan until around the time Mark A took over the team. I always supported them, but at the same time I was smart enough to know that the Seligs had no clue how to run a team and never would. History has proven me correct in this thinking.
- I have never taken a college course in writing. Does this one surprise you? It's not like we're doing mind blowing work here, but I like to think we're a step above a lot of the blogs out there.
- As a kid my favorite player was Albert Belle. Yes, that Albert Belle. I have no explanation for this at all.
- My favorite Brewer (that's not currently on the team)? I like to say Paul Molitor, but I remember him more for his work as a Blue Jay. The real answer is probably Dave Nilsson.
- One of my life long goals is to throw a decent knuckleball. I should probably stop biting my nails if I ever want this to happen.
- I play Baseball Mogul almost every day and have for the past two years despite the fact that the game hates Milwaukee. Seriously, every single game I play as the Brewers has us losing money and last in ticket sales. Drives me insane. (Don't even get me started on their Braun ratings.)
- I rarely tailgate and usually hit the Fridays before the game. I try to keep my tailgating to times I am with a lot of people and we have the time to get there 2-3 hours before the game (I hate missing first pitch). If you are going with one or two people it's kind of pointless to break out the grill and the bags. Fridays has Spotted Cow, but keep me away from the Long Islands. That doesn't usually end well.
- I am now a published writer featured on Decider. You can find our story in the Milwaukee Decider or the Madison Decider depending on your location. Can you believe someone actually paid me to make jokes about douchebags?
- And since that article decided to use my real name, here's my favorite picture of me at Miller Park. Doing the Lion King with my son at Friday's Front Row.
Alright, that's only 15 but I think that's enough and now you know. Thanks for supporting us for the first 200, here's to the next 200. Check out our article in the Decider. We'll be back later to talk about the newest Brewer and more.
Did anyone else get this email? Because we did.
When traveling to a new a city or looking for a new restaurant or club to try at home, a simple Google search just doesn’t cut it. What if you could get recommendations on where to eat and what to do from people ‘like you’ or, even better, from celebrity, super-human athletes like Ryan Braun.
LikeMe.Net, the next generation in social media, offers just that. It’s a recommendation search engine, which tailors your search to your specific interests. Awesome. Even better? Finding out where Ryan Braun spends his time when he’s not crushing it baseball field.
You can see his video at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMHHhc92gUI
Check out his recommendation page at: http://www.likeme.net/users/RyanBraun/recommendations
Let me know if you have any questions. Enjoy All-Star week.
First of all, why the hell should I care where Ryan Braun recommends me to eat? To be an athlete in the kind of shape he's in he probably has to eat food like the bread that Jews eat during the Sabbath. No thanks. Second of all, he recommends places in California or Florida which doesn't exactly help me much. Here's the restaurant Katana which Ryan describes as "The food is so great, and there are a lot of beautiful people here. It's just a great place to go before going out." Great food and beautiful people? It's like gourmet narcissism! The menu looks decent and surprisingly affordable (unlike another Braun spot Prime 112 and their $23 soup), but it also looks like a place that Spencer's creepy flesh colored beard would hang out at. Fail Braun, fail.
Braun also goes on to recommend everything from cellphones (Blackberry Curve 8330: "I'm a businessman now so it's all about email efficiency.") to (surprise) Remetee clothing ("It's something like between Affliction and Ed Hardy. My partners are the majority owners of Affliction. We just felt like it was an opportunity to do something that was a little more colorful and friendly, and for me, it's something I really enjoy. It's available in Nordstrom, Macy's, Bloomingdales, etc."). I wonder if they ever thought of that for a slogan for Remetee, "Remetee: It's just like Affliction or Ed Hardy, only with more pink and purple!" The best part of Ryan Braun's recommendations are the baseball stadiums. That's a really nice touch. Here's his review of Wrigley Field:
It's a special place to watch a ball game. Every fan should experience this place -- a lot of day games, a lot of drinking and tailgating, and as a visiting player, we enjoy going into this atmosphere and environment. It makes it a lot of fun.
I am starting to wonder if Ryan knows the definition of tailgating because in order to tailgate I am pretty sure that you need an actual, you know, place to park. I could be wrong though. (Nope, I'm right.) I'm also kind of wondering if Ryan is saying that baseball players like playing when everyone is drunk during the day because he certainly seems to imply that. That'd be pretty awesome actually.
He also covers his hometown Dodger Stadium:
I grew up in L.A., and I still live there. I really enjoy getting the opportunity to go back when we play the Dodgers. I'm able to reflect on where I'm at, what I've accomplished, and what I'm doing because I grew up a big Dodger fan. It's fun to play against them -- they have a good team, we have a good team. It's not necessarily a rivalry because we only play them a couple times a year, but it's always a lot of fun and a good series.
Do you know how many games Ryan Braun has played in Dodger Stadium? I don't want to be a dick about it, but these things aren't that hard to find out and it literally takes about 20 seconds to look it up online. Two games. That's it. Sure, he could enjoy playing the Dodgers and he most definitely enjoys going back home but you've been there ONE TIME. This is my biggest Braun pet peeve, he talks like he has been in the league for 20 years and constantly gets away with it. He's like a 14 year old who wants to talk to you about sex. Give me a break.
I hate being down on Braun all the time though. I mean, he really likes playing in Milwaukee and signed a contract that he didn't have to sign to stay here. We should be happy. I mean look at this compliment he gives Milwaukee:
Don't sleep on Milwaukee. The people here really take their summers seriously because they don't have good weather very often. It's been great to me so far. It's fun.
At least I think that was a compliment.
Pretty big series coming up with the Dodgers, but I guess they are all big when you're in a playoff. We should think of a different way to describe this. Difficult series ahead? I mean, it's considered a big series because the Dodgers are good and beating them will be difficult. Either way, I'm nervous about it with Mike Burns being prominently involved (at least he is facing Jeff Weaver, I think the over and under for this game is going to be in the teens). After this it's the All-Star break where our very own Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder will be participating. I'm looking forward to Prince in the Home Run Derby, but also secretly holding out for Russell The Muscle to appear. That'd be sweet. Anyways, here's a few quick hits to get you ready for the weekend.
- What is the deal with the national anthem at Miller Park? I went to a game this week and started to cheer before the song ended and was greeted with dirty looks. Ummm, what? I'm of the belief that people should go absolutely crazy during the national anthem (like at this Blackhawks game). It's called patriotism. Especially when the person singing it is an Elvis impersonator. I mean, that's just science. Wake up people.
- Speaking of the game I went to this week I did a bit of live tweeting it on twitter. Say what you want about twitter, but if you're not following us you're missing out on tweets like this: "strangest game ever. i just saw two girls make out and a guy in a vikings favre jersey." Or pics like this (his friend was wearing a Mandarich jersey.) I don't smoke, but all these things happened on the smoking deck. I feel like this means something, but I'm not sure what exactly. Twitter, it's a good time.
- Speaking of social media, guess who searched out Miller Park Drunk and became a fan of us on facebook?
TRENNI KUSNIEREK! I wonder how she feels about me making fun of her buddy A-Dub all the time. Anyways, if you haven't already follow Trenni's lead and become a fan of us on facebook. We even have the spiffy facebook.com/MillerParkDrunk URL.
- I meant to mention this earlier in the week, but Right Field Bleachers has video of a Remetee event at decibel. So many things to say about this video. Douchebag levels are off the charts. Someone needs to delete this video ASAP, if Kim Jong Il sees this he's sending a missle to Milwaukee tomorrow.
- Do me a favor. If you go to the games this weekend, ask Manny Ramirez if he wants to play spies.
That's all I got. We'll be back Monday with some cool stuff to keep you occupied when there are no games going on. As for this weekend series? I'd be okay with 1-2, excited for two wins and absolutely ecstatic for a sweep. Honestly, I'm more concerned about the games coming up after the break against the Reds, Nationals, Pirates, Braves and Padres. Those are the ones we NEED to win.
Have a good weekend everybody.
Parra: Man, Nashville sucks. I wish I was back in Milwaukee.
/goes to Grand Ole Opry
Parra: I mean, it's not like I WANT to pitch bad. I don't know how those batters get to the bases. I throw and they don't swing, what am I supposed to do? Why won't Doug Melvin understand?
/goes to Country Music Hall of Fame
Parra: I wonder who won the sausage race today. I bet it was the Polish, he's due.
/runs out of things to do in Nashville
Parra: God, what am I doing? I'm so lost. Maybe I should join twitter. Then people will notice me. Then I can get back to Milwaukee. That will be my thing, the baseball player who tweets during his starts. That's the ticket.
/joins twitters, nobody follows him
Parra: Crap. I should just sit in this clubhouse until I get called up.
/puts hands in face, slowly starts to weep
Parra: Oh, hi. Ummmm, I just had something in my eye. It's really dusty down here. Hey, aren't you...
Billy Ray Cyrus: Billy Ray Cyrus? Well, yes I am.
Parra: Well, I was going to say Hannah Montana's dad Robbie Stewart but if you want me to call you that, that's cool. What are you doing here?
Billy Ray Cyrus: The owner said he'd give me thirty bucks and a free hot dog with mustard on it if I came and sang the national anthem before tonight's game.
Parra: Woah sweet deal.
Billy Ray Cyrus: Hey partner, I can't help but notice that someone seems to have broken your achy-breaky heart. Is there something I can help you with?
Parra: I don't know Billy Ray. I'm a pitcher and my general manager said I throw too many "balls" and not enough "strikes", but I told him that if I didn't throw balls how would I pitch? I can't just hold the ball you know?
Billy Ray Cyrus: I'm sorry to hear that Manny, but I've got some good news for you. In addition to being a successful country singer, actor and media personality I am also an excellent pitcher. I think I can help you.
Billy Ray Cyrus: Like this.
/Billy Ray Cyrus throws a perfect strike
Parra: Woah, how did you do that? That was amazing.
Billy Ray Cyrus: You see there's this thing called the strike zone.
Parra: The what?
Billy Ray Cyrus: The strike zone. The strike zone is a conceptual three dimensional right angle pentagonal prism over home plate which defines the boundaries through which a pitch must pass in order to count as a strike when the batter does not swing.
Parra: WOAH. Why didn't anyone tell me about this? Where is it? Is it really hard to find like the g-spot? Is it hidden in lines and lines of code like the Matrix? Will I need to travel to Narnia?
Billy Ray Cyrus: No, it's right there in front of you. The top of the strike zone is a horizontal line at the midpoint between the top of the batter's shoulders and the top of the uniform pants. The bottom of the strike zone is a line at the hollow beneath the kneecap. The right and left boundaries of the strike zone correspond to the edges of home plate. A pitch that touches the outer boundary of the zone is as much a strike as a pitch that is thrown right down the center. A pitch at which the batter does not swing and which does not pass through the strike zone is called a ball. Unofficially, the de facto enforced strike zone may be different at any different level.
Parra: Hang on a second, you're pulling my leg aren't you? Is this how you get your kicks Billy Ray?
Billy Ray Cyrus: Hand to God Manny, it's the truth. Billy Ray gets his kicks banging extras on the set of Hannah Montana when Miley has no clue. There was this one time on Best of Both Worlds with these Vietnamese twins and a tennis racket that I --
Billy Ray Cyrus: Sorry. Okay, about the strike zone. It works like this.
Billy Ray Cyrus shows Manny Parra a series of graphs and illustrations defining the strike zone. This process goes on for many hours and Manny has a hard time with the concept until Billy Ray shows him this picture.
Parra: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I get it.