08
Jul 09

We make the case to Roy Halladay

royhalladayRoy Halladay was more or less put on the trade block this week. Trading for Roy Halladay would definitely shut Braun up and fulfill the dreams of many fans. The Brewers would basically trade for the best pitcher available, one of the top 5 pitchers in baseball, two years in a row. There is no way they can do this without it having a serious effect on the future of the team. Does that mean they shouldn't do it? That's hard to say. With Halladay locked up for next year too, we immediately become contenders this year and next. Make no mistake about it, this would be as close as we'll ever get to trading for CC two years in a row. This trade is like that last shot you take at bar time. It's AWESOME and it might get you laid, but holy cow you will regret it later.

Me? I love Roy Halladay. He's been one of my favorite pitchers since I had him in fantasy baseball three years ago. ERA+ isn't a perfect stat, but Halladay hasn't been below average since the year 2000. He's been an above average starter since before Miller Park opened, think about that. He is crazy, crazy good. NINE COMPLETE GAMES! Plus, I love doing things that are mind blowingly awesome that end up coming back to haunt you later. That's why I have a kid.

But as Rob Base has taught us, it takes two. Halladay has a no-trade clause and he'd have to be convinced to come to Milwaukee, but we think we can take care of that for you. Continue reading →


29
Jun 09

Jeremy Jeffress was gonna pitch, but then he got high

high timesAs I am sure you have heard by now the (arguably) best pitching prospect in the Brewers system, Jeremy Jeffress was suspended for 100 games. He tested positive for marijuana for the second time in his career. Now, we can get into all the "smoking pot is not that bad!" stuff another time. The fact is that it's illegal to smoke pot and it's against baseball's rules to smoke pot and this guy smoked pot and got caught (twice). If he does it again and gets caught he will be banned from baseball for life. Fair? Probably not, but those are the rules and when you work in an industry where the starting paycheck is six figures you can probably stand to follow a few rules.

The best part of this whole deal, is Jeffress' manager who had the gall to say this:

"Jeremy is extremely remorseful for what happened and will be voluntarily checking himself into a rehab facility to deal with his problem," Kusnick said. "Jeremy is sick and needs help. We are here to support him in getting his life back. Right now, the most important thing is to help him get his life back, and baseball will take care of itself.

"He is sorry for letting everyone down who believes in him."

He can't possibly be serious can he? He knows we're talking about pot right? To quote Bob Saget in Half Baked "I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?" You can't have a "problem" with marijuana, you can't be "sick and need help", people don't overdose on weed. If he wants to "get his life back" maybe he should just, you know, not smoke pot. That's all he has to do. There is no addiction to kick and he doesn't need rehab, he just has to put the bong down. That's it.

Unfortunately, I don't see him ever doing that. I've been around people who smoke pot my entire life. Know how many have quit? Zero. Guess what those kids getting high behind the dumpster at Burger King before a sixth grade dance are doing today? SMOKING POT! Guess what my mom is doing right now? The same thing she did when she was pregnant with me, SMOKING POT! Once you reach the point in your life when you are listening to a Phish album and think to yourself "hey, this is pretty good," you're done. It's over. You are going to smoke weed for the rest of your life. You don't care if it costs you jobs or relationships because smoking weed is fun and it makes watching professional wrestling THAT MUCH COOLER.

So don't give me that "Jeffress has a problem" crap, the only problem that Jeffress has is that he's an idiot who doesn't know how to use a Whizzinator or the internet.


19
Jun 09

It’s Friday, let’s have fun with numbers

NumbersOkay, I think I am a bit calmed down now.

Just a few numbers to fill your head over the weekend because as everyone knows if there is one thing that goes good with heavy drinking, it's numbers.

96: Games left in the season. This seems like a lot, but trust me it's a big frown face for me. I haven't even went swimming yet!

5000+: Visitors so far in June. That's kind of a lot. Thanks a lot.

0: Of those 5000+ who would rather live in Detroit. Man, Detroit sucks. A couple of my buddies went out there for the series because they go to an out of town series every year and all I could say to them was "WHY?" I get the whole "never been there before and want to see their stadium thing", but Detroit is the pits.

35-31: Brewers Pythagoraen record. Same as the Cardinals. This means something, but I have no idea what.

14-15: Brewers record since Rickie Weeks last game. JUST SAYING.

73/274: Combined home runs and RBIs Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun are on pace for. Thatsalottaruns. Fielder is on pace for most RBIs by an NL player since 2001. NICE. (Useless knowledge that I know: For those curious the HR record for teammates is 115 by Maris/Mantle in 1961.)

3: Times I've watched Hitch in the past week. No, I am not proud of this.

.250: Mike Cameron's current batting average. Hey, I told you this would happen.

250: The number of facebook fans we need to reach before giving away another two tickets. I think I set this number kind of low since we're already over 200, but whatever. I'll give it to next Friday and if we top 300, we'll have a secondary prize. If you're already a fan, you're already in. If you're not, click here to become a fan. Follow us on Twitter while you're at it.

That's about all I've got for you this week. We'll be working on getting some more cool stuff up here for next week. More comics (although that artist WAS a bit expensive), more Brewers Baby (if his mom says it's okay), LOLBREWERS and some other crazy stuff we haven't even come up with yet. You keep reading and telling your friends, we'll keep doing our thing (and if you're looking for tickets check out our sponsor Cheap Milwaukee Brewers Tickets). Now if you'll excuse me I haven't drank since Monday (!) and that's about four days too long.


12
Jun 09

JJ Hardy is WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

The web is alive with rumors that there is a Brewers trade on the horizon. The center of this talk is JJ Hardy. Earlier I didn't see it happen, but the more I've thought about it. The more it makes sense. My previous argument was that the Brewers wouldn't trade their 5th best hitter. Which makes sense, only Hardy hasn't turned it around and to date the only people who have hit less than him are Bill Hall and Jason Kendall. Yet he still has a lot of value because a lot of people don't see him ending up like this. If the Brewers can get a GOOD starter, like real good for Hardy and not much else. They should do it. It's the right thing to do. Unfortunately, not everyone feels the same way. Like this 13 year old girl who goes by the handle foreverJJsgirl.

foreverJJsgirl

omigod r u serious! is this 4 real? this would be like the dumbest thing evr!! what are they thinkin!?

/listens to Jonas Brothers

this is sooooooo stupid, stupidr than my parents not letting me go to Twilight by myself bc it was pg-13 and i was only 12. god i hate them so much. i cant wait to go to college like my sister.

/watches trailer for New Moon

ne ways about JJ it would be so stupid. like, who are they even going to trade him to? like the bears or somethin? ugh i hate them but i would b there biggest fan if they had jj. hes just so damn cute. hes like david from my 3rd period if he grew a goatee.

/wears clothes she shouldn't be wearing at her age

but then i couldnt go to there games and see jj! itd be so stupid when my dad made me go if jj wasnt there. miller park doesnt even have a starbucks. i guess braun is cute and gamel is alrite, but jj is just soooo cute. hes like a jonas brother. i would totally marry him if my dad wasnt such a jerk who wont let me date.

/doubts her dedication to purity promise ring

ok i get it they need better pitching or something. why not trade corey hart (eww country music) or prince fielder (too fat) or craig council (old as my dad lol)? dont take jj from us, hes the mvp... of my heart.

/texts

ugh i have to go now, my mom says i have to get off the internet and do my homework.

/listens to sad Hannah Montana song alone in her room on repeat


05
May 09

10 Shirts More Racist Than Zambrano Mows My Lawn

mexican stereotypeThe blog world is abuzz with news of a racist Carlos Zambrano shirt. Personally, I find the "Cardinals take it in their Poo-holes" far more offensive. Couldn't they just put Pujols? Do they really think people wouldn't get it unless they added the words "poo" and "holes"? Or what about those Fukudome shirts that said "Horry Kow"? That's pretty racist (like Breakfast at Tiffany's racist.)

Honestly, I don't care. If dumbass people want to wear dumbass shirts, I say let them. Go right ahead and wear your douchebaggery on your sleeve. It makes me look better. As for the t-shirt manufacturers, is that really the most racist you could do? If you're going to go for it, GO FOR IT. Here's ten Carlos Zambrano t-shirt ideas that are much more racist than Zambrano Mows My Lawn.

10. Zambrano did my roof.

9. 4 home runs. 20 kids.

8. Zambrano came to this country on a boat.

7. Zambrano picks good lettuce.

6. Bigger Miracle: Cubs winning the World Series or Zambrano taking a shower?

5. Zambrano only eats tacos for dinner.

4. I keyed Zambrano's low rider.

3. Zambrano: Drunk since 2001.

2. Zambrano's mom is my maid.

1. Carlos Zambrano: World's Tallest Mexican

You see, it's funny because he's Venezuelan.

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