18
Aug 09

EXCLUSIVE: Gorman Thomas to attempt comeback with Cubs

In an interview with a small town Illinois newspaper Gorman Thomas said that he would "like to play again." When asked why now, 23 years after retiring, he wanted to come back Gorman said that he'd "like to help the Cubbies finally get that World Series." Cubs general manager Jim Hendry declined to comment, but did admit that there was interest.

UPDATE: Gorman tells ESPN's Buster Olney that his quotes were taken out of context and he is enjoying retirement. Continue reading →


14
Aug 09

Hey everybody let’s go home!

trevor hoffman brewersI was at the game on Wednesday and it was a good time. Yes, the Brewers lost. I know because I was there and I stayed for the whole thing. It wasn't a bad loss though. The team fought til the end and had a runner on third at the end of the ninth that would have tied the game. Cameron did his best to fight off the tough pitches, but he ended up popping out. It happens, it's baseball. The point is that I got to see the entire thing play out. I got to see Hoffman take down his former team easily in the ninth. I got to see Prince get a big hit. I got to see Escobar steal a big base in the ninth. I got to see it all and the reason I got to see it all wasn't because I had good seats or because I am Ryan Braun's favorite blogger. No, I got to see it all because, and you are not going to believe this, I STAYED FOR THE ENTIRE GAME!

I know, crazy right? I bought tickets to a baseball game and I actually stayed for the whole thing and watched it. Not because I am like this crazy obsessed baseball fan who needs a perfect scorecard, but because the team had a good chance to win and I wanted to see them do it! I KNOW!!! RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look, it's your money and you can do what you want with it. After a really exciting 7th inning when the team pulled within one I had the good feeling that they were going to be able to comeback and win the game. After the 8th, when the team didn't score I still hadn't given up hope. Apparently everyone else did because a ton of people left after the eighth inning. Why? I have no idea. To me there are only three reasons to leave a game and they are as follows: Continue reading →


06
Aug 09

Every team needs a punching bag, Jason Kendall is ours

jasonkendallI've been watching baseball my entire life and if there is one thing I've learned it's that you have to hate at least one person on your favorite team at all times. It's impossible to love 25 guys at the same time. You have to dislike a few. All season long Jason Kendall and Jeff Suppan have been neck and neck for the title of punching bag, but with Suppan's injury and Kendall's recent slump it seems that Kendall has taken the crown once and for all. And I couldn't be happier.

With Suppan it's always more about expectations and money than it is about performance. He is not good, I am not saying that he is. It's just that he is a 4th starter and he is expected to be a fourth starter, he just happens to be paid exorbirantly well for a fourth starter. It's not his fault that he took the money, who wouldn't? He is what he is.

With Kendall it's different. He's a catcher and catcher's aren't supposed to hit, but he is so bad at hitting that it's become a joke. The story goes that he overcomes his hitting by his value in handling the pitchers. The pitchers like throwing to him. Let's just go ahead and debunk that REAL QUICK. Continue reading →


06
Aug 09

Dear Journal Sentinel Anthony Witrado is a douchebag and you should probably fire him

Hey. Journal Sentinel, what's up? It's your boy, Miller Park Drunk. How's it going? Yeah, that whole death of print thing really sucks. Oh, that's funny!

Listen, let's get down to business here. I am here to talk serious business. I am here to talk about the sports section of your paper. You have this guy writing for the Brewers who is absolutely terrible. I am not kidding. He sucks. He blows. He is quite possibly the worst beat writer in the entire MLB. Did you know there are teams in Baltimore and Oakland? There is! And these teams that are located in WAR ZONES have better beat writers than Anthony Witrado. There's something wrong with this picture right? I know we've been through this before. I know that we (and everyone else that cares about the Brewers) have said this before, but this time it's serious. Anthony Witrado should be fired. Continue reading →


29
Jul 09

The only living boy at Miller Park

CleanseGirlAfter yesterday's post and subsequent loss to the Nationals, I got to thinking about tonight's game. You see, I have tickets to tonight's game. The last game I went to was July 8th against the Cardinals. An excellent win featuring a Gamel homerun and a little Trevor Time. Good times were had by all. Since then I've been watching the games on television and it hasn't been a real pleasant experience to the point where I have seriously considered getting rid of tonight's tickets and going to karaoke or something. Right now I just feel as if going to Miller Park isn't the best way to spend my free time and money. I don't want to go to Miller Park and I don't want to watch the Brewers. Which is exactly why I have to go.

You see the more I thought about it the more I was reminded of this scene from the movie Garden State. (First commenter to make a "Do you know how I know you're gay" joke wins.)

In this scene the dude just lets go. It's raining, he's in some dirty quarry and he just says "you know what? F it. I'm having a good time." and that's exactly what I need to do tonight. I need to put whatever got me to this point behind me and just have a good time. It's like this, have you ever quit drinking for awhile? Whether it's because you had a real bad night or your girlfriend threatened you or you have court coming up or whatever, you decide to take it easy for awhile. But then that totally sucks and you are in a crabby mood so you eventually break down and start drinking again. Aren't you that much happier? Don't you feel like 100 times better after? That's what this game is like for me and considering the fact that I may have just described a symptom of alcoholism I feel pretty good about it.

Watching the Brewers suck on TV is terrible. Watching the Brewers suck live is slightly more palpable. Everything is always better at Miller Park. That's why tonight I am going to be living up to the title of this website. The Brewers sucking is what ails me and the only medicine is Miller Park. Like Prince made Applonia purify herself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka in Purple Rain, I have to purify myself in the beers of Miller Park. It's the only way we can get out of this in one piece.