22
Apr 11

Local blogger mad that Ryan Braun will be a Milwaukee Brewer longer than his site will exist

LAKE GENEVA, WI -- On top of finding out last month's advertising revenue was "less than twelve bucks" area blogger Vince Morales was disappointed to hear that Ryan Braun had recently signed an extension to keep himself with the Brewers until 2020.

"He hasn't left his room in the basement all day. I don't think I've seen him this upset since Charmed got canceled," said his mother as she cut the crusts off of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She added "Hopefully this cheers him up. It's his favorite."

While he insists that he's happy for the Brewers superstar and his favorite team for locking him up to the extension, it's hard not to notice his frustration with the matter. "I'm happy for them really, but it just sucks you know?" Morales told reporters. "I've been doing this blog for over two years now. Where's my extension? Where's my job offer? I mean, how many photoshops do I have to do before With Leather notices me? I could put Lobster Dog in a picture of Ryan Braun! I could do it right now!"

Despite his anger Vince, who conceded that he doesn't actually blog drunk, said he wasn't ready to call it quits just yet.

"Of course I'm not going to do it today, but nine years is a long time man." The unemployed blogger said."I don't know if people will still think making fun of Remetee is funny in 2020. I mean, we'll probably have hoverboards by then."

After finishing the sandwich his mom made him and a large glass of chocolate milk Morales was a bit more introspective on the matter.

"I guess I'm just upset because more people don't notice my blog. I spend like twenty, thirty minutes a week on the site and I only get like one friend request per week on facebook. It's like nobody cares, but I know the site is funny because my mom always laughs at it. It's just tough. People don't know how hard bloggers got it, but it's tough man. You can print that."

Despite his regrets Morales continues to blog and promises to keep updating his site at least three to four times per month for the rest of the year. When it comes down to it he says it's not like he has anything better to do.

"Hey, check out this photoshop I just finished." Morales added.


05
Oct 09

Why Miguel Cabrera is an a-hole

miguel-cabreraLast week I did a playoff preview where I went through each team individually and tried to pick a favorite (and it looks like I'll be an honorary Coors Field Drunk for the rest of this month). I went through each of the playoff teams and decided that the Tigers were going to win the division. The Twins had something like a 5% chance of coming back and I didn't think they would do it. Here's what I said.

(Skipping the Twins. They aren't coming back.)

That's it. I didn't even feel the need to justify it and now they are in a one-game playoff for the AL Central title to be played tomorrow.

(Quick tangent on this: Each year the MLB holds a series of coinflips in the event of tiebreakers to decide the home team. The Twins won this coinflip. (As lar pointed out in the comments this has been changed, but the overall point still stands.) Now, why wouldn't the MLB look at the schedule and say "You know, we want these tiebreakers to take place on Monday. We don't want either team gaining an advantage and we want the playoffs to start on Tuesday. Even though you won the toss, if you can't have that game on Monday, we're going to have that game on Monday in Detroit. Sorry." How hard would that be? The playoffs take forever as it is, why add a day because Brett Favre unretired?)

So, the Tigers play the Twins in a four game series and they split it when everyone says the Twins need to win 3 of 4 to have a chance. Then they sweep the Royals while the Twins fall apart against the White Sox. WHY? Why does this happen? I don't really care about either team at all, but I don't like to be wrong. Who likes to be wrong? Who is responsible for me to possibly be wrong? Miguel Cabrera, that's who. Continue reading →


30
Sep 09

Who ya got? 2009 MLB Playoffs

Red Sox Yankees BaseballWell, you aren't going to believe this but after last night's loss to the Rockies the Brewers have been eliminated from playoff contention. Even if the planes carrying the Dodgers, Cardinals, Rockies and Phillies crash into eachother the Brewers still won't make the playoffs. Sad, I know.

Anyways I just found out that the playoffs still happen if the Brewers don't make it and despite the Brewers not being in contention they will still hold a "World Series". I am interested in this and plan to watch these "playoffs" until their logical conclusion which I assume is called the "championship", I don't know I'm new to this whole baseball thing. I only started watching the Brewers last year. Since the Brewers aren't involved I thought we should figure out who we all want to root for and pretend that we were fans of this team for the next six months until the playoffs end. So let's get down to it. Continue reading →


14
Sep 09

Morning Read

zubaz must dieThis morning's read is an article by one of the greatest writers of our generation, the smart, funny, witty and modest Vince Morales returns to Decider Milwaukee (and Madison) for an article entitled "Talkin' Baseball: Miller Park Drunk this you should forget the Packers & stick with the Brewers." That's right, the night after one of the great Packer comebacks, an Aaron Rodgers led comeback win against the Bears at that, we decided to tell everyone that watching the Packers is stupid. Classic.

Read it. It's good.

Since we're in the shameless plug department I might as well try this. I bought too many tickets to next week's series with the Cubs. I have four extra tickets to every game and am just trying to get rid of them, taking a big loss in the process. Check out my ebay page for details or just click Read More.

Until then, read our Decider article! Especially you, Madison! Continue reading →

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