18
Dec 13

The MPD Guide to Holiday Parties

Last weekend I went to my girlfriend's work holiday party and it was GREAT, oh my god I had so much FUN and I CAN'T WAIT to go again next year! Holiday parties are the best and I think everyone should just go and spread Christmas cheer.

(looks over shoulder)

Okay, she's not looking anymore.

It was actually lammmmee. Nobody really embarrassed themselves, nobody threw up and nobody hooked up in a coat closet. Was it amateur hour or something? Nobody seemed like they wanted to win the party (ie be the most drunk) or become famous in the office for the rest of the year. It's almost like they needed some help, some guidance, something to show them how to make the most out of their Christmas party, They needed...

The MPD Guide to Holiday Parties

drunkxmas

 

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17
Aug 12

A Brief History of MPD Memes

In case you guys haven't figured this out by now I am down with internet memes. I like to stay current on them, I think they are funny and I like to figure out a way to integrate them into the Brewers. This is what led to the creation of LOLBREWERS, the official MPD tumblr. From Sad Keanu all the way to McKayla is not impressed I love them all. (Except for that overly attached girlfriend one. That one doesn't really do it for me/hits too close to home.) Memes are fun, even if they are a major cause of brain rot and in ten years people will communicate exclusively through a white Impact font with black outlines.

Over the years we've used quite a few here at the site and even created a few of our own. Since I have Chikara brain today (Which is tonight! Get your tickets! See you there!) and am having trouble stringing sentences together I thought I'd compile all we've done in the past in one handy, dandy post. So let's do that now. Continue reading →


02
Aug 12

The Best and Worst Songs of the 90s

My taste in music can be pretty varied at times. Playlists will jump from Electric Light Orchestra to Childish Gambino to They Might Be Giants to Hall & Oates and I don't blink an eye. I like what I like. I mostly prefer older stuff, but my taste in modern music is a bit more hipster than I'd like to admit. I think that everything that I like is "good" and everything that I don't like is "bad." So if you don't like what I like then you have bad taste in music. I don't mean to be like this, but I think most people are the same way. We're all dicks.

However, there is one soft spot in my tough music facade and that is the 1990's. I am completely unapologetic about the music of my youth and I love it no matter how bad everyone else in the world thinks it is. It's just wrapped to my memories so tightly that I can't think it's bad. If you think "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia is bad then you think I am bad. I am not bad, I am riding the chillwave bro.

Whenever I hear "Two Princes" by the Spin Doctors all I can think about is the girl I liked in 6th grade that ended up going to rehab for huffing things. If you play me "Don't Turn Around" by Ace of Base I don't ask you to change it. I tell you a story about a girl who dumped me and how I spent the entire weekend locked in my room listening to The Sign album on repeat and punching holes in the wall. "I Don't Want To Wait" by Paula Cole isn't a very good song, but it reminds me of the days when Pacey was my idol and Joey was the most perfect girl in the world. I was young and dumb and I recorded songs off the radio onto a tape to play them later. It was a simpler time.

Occasional contributor and MPD fashion expert Steph shares this love of all things 90s with me and might actually love them more than I do. I've honestly never met anyone who loves Color Me Badd more than her with the possible exception of Donna Martin. This is why we're friends. This is why I have her contribute to the site. Because she likes the same stupid stuff that I like. (That's all friendship is really.) Anyways, since it's Off Topic Week here at Miller Park Drunk Steph and I decided that it was time to find out what the very best and worst songs of our favorite decade were. Continue reading →


24
Apr 12

Secret Stadium Sauce recipes

For some reason this season at Miller Park they have large dispensers for ketchup and mustard, but not Stadium Sauce which are only found in bottles. I am not sure of the reason, but I have a feeling it has something to do with Yovani Gallardo's haircut. Talking with friends about this injustice of condiments got me thinking. Why do we only use stadium sauce with our brats? Shouldn't there be more uses for this wonderful condiment beyond grilled meat? For the answer we turned to MPD's culinary expert and the the only reader who ever made me cupcakes: lizconsin, who has crafted some recipes for us. Take it away, Liz.

If you’ve ever stood at the Secret Stadium Sauce dispenser at Miller Park, trying to put it on every food item in your hand without setting down your beer, I don't need to tell you anything about Stadium Sauce because you already know.  If you’ve ever done this routine with a Bloody Mary in hand and thought "…that could work”, you should probably call me some time. But for the uninitiated here are some things about Stadium Sauce that you should know before we move forward:

  • It’s not barbecue sauce.  SSS is reminiscent of ketchup mixed with a little bit of everything else on the condiment table.  It has a tomato base, but is not as thick, sweet or tangy as other barbecue-style sauces.
  • It never has to be refrigerated, even after opening.
  • It’s a Miller Park staple, but you don’t have to maneuver through the team shop between innings to find a bottle.  It’s available in grocery stores around Wisconsin.
  • Bob Costas loves it.

Of course, it’s amazing on a brat or a hot dog at the park, but here are a few ideas for using SSS at home. Continue reading →


17
Feb 12

MPD answers your fashion questions

Is it still proper to wear my Prince Fielder jerseys to Miller Park? My view is he gave so many great years of his career here, and many memorable moments. Obviously, one of the top Brewers of All-Time. So I say I am ok with wearing them, and I wouldn't pass judgement on others who do the same (but really people, the John Jaha ones have to go). What are your views on this MPD? - John

Is this a joke? Prince Fielder is a Detroit Tiger. The ink on his contract isn't even fresh and you want to honor his contributions to the team? Get a grip. Save that shit til 2020 when they give him a bobblehead and add him to the Walk of Fame.

I think people who think it's okay with wearing the jerseys of people who leave the team (the very next season, no less) are the same kind of people who think it's better to be friends with your ex instead of never talking to them again. What's the point? We got what we wanted out of them, had some good times and then things went south and you moved on. Prince Fielder is a Detroit Tiger, he doesn't love you anymore, it's time to move on. Continue reading →

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