Todd Coffey is the Warrior

Baseball April 22nd, 2009

Todd Coffey is the Ultimate WarriorDespite having the second worst record in the MLB right now, many Brewers fans are pumped up about the emergence of Todd Coffey as a dominating reliever. I have to admit I am pretty happy about it too. Many people are taking this as a huge surprise, but anyone who remembers last season shouldn't be. Coffey was lights out after joining the Brewers with 7Ks in 7.1 IPs with an ERA of 0.00. Since joining the Brewers, Coffey has rocked.

The thing is I knew from the first time I saw him live on Saturday April 11th, that he would be one of my favorite players. When he came into that game, he exited the bullpen running. I don't mean he jogged out, I mean he ran to the mound like Steve Prefontaine. This guy was booking. At the time my friends and I made the obligatory "looks like Coffey had too much coffee jokes" (maybe he should switch to decaf, hey-yo!), but the more I think about it the more he reminded me of the Ultimate Warrior hitting the ring. I'm not saying he needs to paint his face or anything (although that wouldn't hurt), but I am going to go ahead and insist that he enter the ring game to the Ultimate Warrior's music from now on. It's just too perfect not to do it. Embrace your inner Warrior, Todd. The planets from the grimlack system have aligned.

Now I've never heard a Todd Coffey interview and I don't know how he feels about smoking, but if it's anything like this? Yeah, I'm going ahead and buying that jersey.

Don't ever change.

Your final Guide

Fans April 9th, 2009

brewers beer bongSo, here we are. Opening Day. 2009. I think it was the 10th of April. It's pretty hard to mess this day up. Sure, there's a game tonight but that doesn't really matter because tomorrow is Opening Day. Our first chance to smell the smells and drink the beers in the world's greatest outdoor party, Miller Park Opening Day. Sometimes I think there is something wrong with me. I don't want to get laid, I don't want to get rich, I don't want to see Bruce Springsteen, I just want to go to Miller Park and have a good time. That's me, that's my journey and tomorrow I am going to get my wish.

We are going all out this year. Tailgate grill, rolling 10 deep, plenty of beer and for the first time in my life I got my tickets for face value (20 game package, what what). I am stocking everyone with cameras and we are going to do our best to make a short film for the site (we'll see how that works out.) I'll be at the game tomorrow and Saturday, so don't expect many updates. Until then here is a few last minute tips:

  • When listening to music, listen to whatever the hell you like, but do your very best not to include any songs that have lyrics along the lines of "tell me how my dick tastes". I don't want to hear all that.
  • No Zubaz.
  • If you see me and I have run out of beer, give me some beer. Give me some beer even if I do have some actually. It's the least you can do. I'll be in section 127 row 7 seats 1 and 2.
  • If you are going to taunt someone, make sure you know who they are. For example tomorrow's starter is Rich Harden. Rich Harden is a former Oakland A and is known throughout his career to be injury prone. Suggested taunts: "Mark Ellis said he misses showering with you" and "Try not to hurt yourself" (BURN!)
  • Pregame if you run out of beer, don't try to go into one of those tents. Those guys are some real beer nazis.
  • No Zubaz.
  • To all you Catholics, I was just talking to God last night and he said if you eat a brat you will still go to Heaven. Unless you're an asshole then you are still going to hell. Or a Cubs fan.
  • Speaking of Cubs fans, play nice but don't be afraid to tell them to shut the hell up and sit down. The only Geo I want people yelling about is the 92 Geo Metro that is on fire in the parking lot.
  • No gloves.

Hey, did I mention no Zubaz? Seriously, NO ZUBAZ.

Have fun and we'll be back Monday with tales of debauchery and drunken baseball related fun. Don't be afraid to send your own stories either.

Music to sip by: TV on the Radio

Miller Park March 9th, 2009

TV on the Radio - Wolf Like Me

This song is awesome and it's awesomeness is only enhanced more by drinking. Therefore it should be perfect for games, but here's the thing: sometimes when I listen to this song I want to start a mosh pit with the nearest inanimate object I can find. Maybe even smash my head through a car's windshield (in a good way). Is that a good way to feel like in a parking lot of 30,000 people? Probably not.

Handle with care.

Music to sip by: Kings of Leon

Fans March 2nd, 2009

One time last summer I thought it would be a good idea to drink tequilla and swim at the pool all day before a Brewers night game. (SPOILERS: It wasn't.) The memories aren't all quite there, but there is one thing that I do remember and am constantly reminded of: my complete obsession with Billy Joel that day. For some reason or another, all I wanted to do was listen to Billy Joel and whenever someone put something else on I changed it back to the Piano Man. I don't really recommend doing this. Your friends really end up liking you. I do recommend listening to music while tailgating as it can really amp up the experience. There is nothing quite like an air band breaking out mid-Bags game.

At the same time, the music has to be good. A lot of times I'll be walking through the parking lot and feel like John Belushi in Animal House when the guy is playing guitar on the stairs. That's not a good feeling and I think the people in that tailgate party know that their life really sucks. Who wants to listen to thrash metal before a baseball game? This isn't murderball guys. You need it to be a bit more laidback, but the second you let someone put on some sad girl music it's all over. Literally, over. Give up your seats kind of over. It's a tightrope your walking out there.

Luckily for you, I am here to recommend awesome music to listen to in the parking lot. Today's selection is Kings of Leon. This band straight up knows how to rock, but at the same time playing them in the background won't overpower everything else that is happening. A perfect mix for tailgate music.

County Stadium used to rock. The music? Not so much

Baseball February 11th, 2009

Here's a "classic" Brewers promo by a band which Kris Liakos refers to as "what Starlight Vocal Band would sound like if they got high". Sounds about right.

Come see what's Brewing!
Come see what the good times are.
Come see what the Brewers are doing.
Come cheer a Superstar.
Be a believer in Brewers fever.
Stomp your feet,
Clap your hands,
you're part of the team sittin' in the stands.
Come catch the fever,
the fever with Brewers for everyone.
You'll be a believer in Brewers fever when you feel the excitement of a Big home run.
Stompin' your feet,
clapping your hands,
you're part of the team sittin' in the Stands!!!!
Come see what's Brewin'!