Super Bowl XLV Preview

Off-Base February 4th, 2011

The Green Bay Packers play the Pittsburgh Steelers in the XLVth Super Bowl this Sunday and everyone is talking about it. You can't walk two feet without seeing something green, hearing about Aaron Rodgers or noticing someone in a Steelers sweatshirt that you had never seen them in before. Everyone has changed their facebook profile picture to a Packers player instead of themselves which, honestly, is a nice replacement for the self portrait they took with their cell phone camera. Most of the people I know can tell me, down to the minute, when the game starts. It's insane. You'd think that one of these teams was from Milwaukee. (What? Green Bay is where now? -Ed.)

I realize that it's completely pointless to try and mention the Milwaukee Brewers in this space until at least Tuesday. (If you really want to know my feelings on the Mark Kotsay signing look at this graph.) For one thing, they haven't even started spring training yet. For another, PACKERSPACKERSPACKERSPACKERSPACKERS. So if you can't beat them join them. I may not be an expert on the Green Bay Packers, but I am an expert on watching television, eating and drinking. We also know a bit about gambling, 8-2 in the playoffs, and are going for the Packers on Sunday. There is money at stake, we're just as excited as you are. We basically know everything you need to know about Sunday and that's why we are here to bring you...

MILLER PARK DRUNK'S GUIDE TO THE SUPER BOWL

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Thanksgiving Drunkstravaganza

Off-Base November 25th, 2009

thanksgivingI love Thanksgiving so, so very much. It combines a few of my favorite pastimes: overeating, drinking heavily, not doing anything, punching family members in the face.  If we could figure out a way to transfer Thanksgiving to the parking lot at Miller Park in mid-August this would be the greatest holiday of all. It still is (why? none of that whiny God shit), but that would make it just that much better like a finger in your asshole during a blowjob. I mean, ummm.... I just... uhh, ummm yeah. So ANYWAYS, Thanksgiving is awesome and I like to consider myself an expert in the holiday. Do I know how to cook turkey and do stuff with the gizard and whatnot? Fuck no. I know how to make this holiday legendary. I know how to turn Thanksgiving into Thanksfuckingyeahgiving. Want to have an awesome holiday? Tired of deciding to go to the movies because you are so bored? Tired of pretending to care about a Cowboys game or using mock outrage that you don't get the NFL Network? Miller Park Drunk is here to guide you through the greatest holiday of them all. Read the rest of this entry »

MPD Book Club: The Book of Basketball

Off-Base November 10th, 2009

brooksteppeBill Simmons is a writer for ESPN that you probably have heard of. He's probably the biggest "celebrity" writer on the internet and is responsible for roughly 1/5 of the posts at Deadspin. Despite influencing roughly every sports blog on the internet and setting a gold standard that anyone who thinks that it's a good idea to write on the internet should try to attain, he is one of the most divisive figures in the sports blogging world. Often accused of being smug, a name dropper and overusing the same references time and time again (I once emailed him begging him to stop with the Battle of the Network Stars references) Simmons is generally un-apologetic over his style. His style is his style. He has his fans (which I count myself as one) and his detractors, but in the end there's not much you can say negatively about him. His "voice of the fan" perspective has become skewered a bit over the years, but it still is a "voice of the fan" because when it comes to baseball, the NFL or gambling on the NFL he doesn't know what he's talking about most of the time (just like a real fan.) However, when it comes to basketball Bill Simmons leaves the "voice of the fan" behind and becomes something wholly different, one of the greatest living basketball writers alive.

Now, I've never been the biggest basketball guy. I think it's a great sport to watch, but there have been one too many times in my lifetime when the officials have clearly affected the outcome of a game and you can't tell me any different that the league didn't influence these decisions. The most egregious example would of course be the Dallas/Miami Finals from a couple of years back. I know that I'm not the only one who feels this way and was completely turned off by this series, but somehow the NBA always finds ways to pull me back in. Whether it's Lebron James or Brandon Jennings, I always find a reason to end up watching some games and a lot of this can probably be attributed to the writing of Bill Simmons. His passion for the game in his columns is infectious and there have been more than a few times I have ended up watching a playoff series because he will not shut up about it (Bulls/Celtics from last season is a great example.) When I found out that Bill Simmons had written a 700 page book about basketball I pre-ordered it right away. I've always enjoyed him as a writer and he is far too serious about the sport of basketball to mess this up. When The Book of Basketball arrived eight days ago I dug right in and I wasn't disappointed. Read the rest of this entry »

Anatomy of a Play

Baseball September 14th, 2009

In case you missed the Brewers game yesterday (and I am guessing you probably did), Alcides Escobar made probably the best play I have seen all year. I described it on twitter as "alcides with a play jj is incapable of dreaming about" and later Al's Ramblings said basically the same thing (I would link to the post but Al has a terrible CMS that won't allow it). If you didn't see it or just want to watch it again, here it is.

Whenever you see a play like that you are awestruck and filled with questions. How did he do that? What was going through his mind on the play? Well, luckily for you I have the upgraded version of MLB.tv which includes a new feature called mind reading which I have transcribed for your enjoyment. Read the rest of this entry »

Dear Journal Sentinel Anthony Witrado is a douchebag and you should probably fire him

Baseball August 6th, 2009

Hey. Journal Sentinel, what's up? It's your boy, Miller Park Drunk. How's it going? Yeah, that whole death of print thing really sucks. Oh, that's funny!

Listen, let's get down to business here. I am here to talk serious business. I am here to talk about the sports section of your paper. You have this guy writing for the Brewers who is absolutely terrible. I am not kidding. He sucks. He blows. He is quite possibly the worst beat writer in the entire MLB. Did you know there are teams in Baltimore and Oakland? There is! And these teams that are located in WAR ZONES have better beat writers than Anthony Witrado. There's something wrong with this picture right? I know we've been through this before. I know that we (and everyone else that cares about the Brewers) have said this before, but this time it's serious. Anthony Witrado should be fired. Read the rest of this entry »

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