15
Feb 12

What Your Shirsey Says About You

A lot of people don't really like the shirsey (t-shirt jersey), but I have personally always been a fan of them. It's a good way to casually date a player before committing and making it facebook official. Plus, it's a great way to support a player that you know will only be with the team for a short time. Like when the Brewers made the trade for K-Rod last year. You can support him because he's pretty freakin' awesome, but you also don't have to blow a bunch of money when you know there is no way he'll be back in 2012. (Wait, what?!) It also works great for when you want to support an underutilized bench player that could be released or sent down at any moment. (I don't know why, but purchasing that Brad Nelson shirsey really seemed like a great idea at the time.) Shirseys are fun and an MPD approved fashion item.

However, I should warn you about them. While shirseys are cool they also say a lot about you as a person. Anyone can get a Ryan Braun jersey and remain a relative enigma to strangers (because it's freakin' Ryan Braun), but the purchase of a specific player's shirsey tells people things and opens you up to a whole mess of assumptions about your character. I want you to be ready for that, I want you to know what your shirsey says about you so you can purchase accordingly and that is why I made this list. See what a nice guy I am? Continue reading →


19
Jun 09

Thanks a lot Ryan Braun, now I’ll never get laid

Ryan Braun and his ex-girlfriend

Great. This is just what I fucking needed. The same fucking day that I FINALLY work up the courage up to ask this cute temp Lauren out on a date and get fucking DENIED because she's "just coming out of serious relationship and needs some me time" whatever the FUCK that means, Ryan Braun decides to break up with his girlfriend and announce it on Kiss fucking FM. Fuck you Ryan Braun. Why didn't you just come to my work during lunch break and do it?

Are you fucking kidding me? You think that just because you're some good looking baseball player with his own clothing line that you can just hog all the hot chicks in Milwaukee? Is that what you fucking think? Because I have something to tell you, SOME girls aren't into all that. SOME girls aren't into your stupid fucking t-shirts. SOME girls aren't into your tongue wagging and showboating. SOME girls like guys like me, guys they can talk to about their feelings who won't try things on the first date. SOME girls want a guy who they can tailgate with who out drinks all his friends, not some asshole who is friends with A-Rod. Why don't you fucking call back the Bachelor or something? Why do you have to steal all the girls from regular guys like me? Guys like me who pay your fucking salary asshole!

I mean, Jesus fucking Christ, this has been like the worst week ever. The thing with Lauren was one thing, but then I asked for this other girl's phone number who I met at a Brewers game and she had a fucking boyfriend. If you had a fucking boyfriend why were you flirting with me the whole fucking game? I would have had like six more beers and three more brats plus some cheese fries if I knew you had a fucking boyfriend! For fucks sake. I guess I just don't fucking get why this keeps happening to me. No matter what I do I can't seem to get laid. I mean, I'm a nice guy! I'm sensitive! I'll watch Grey's Anatomy with you and I own like every Jason Mraz CD! The other day I bought She's Just Not That Into You On-Demand just so I had something to talk to Lauren about at work. We see how fucking good that worked out. I just want someone to talk to! Someone to fucking care about! It's not enough that I have to compete with all these assholes who work out and have a drivers license, I also have to compete with Ryan fucking Braun? Fan-fucking-tastic. Why don't you just kick my dog while you're at it? Thanks a lot Ryan Braun, now I'll never get laid. Asshole.

[RightFieldBleachers]

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