27
Apr 12

The Best of #WeLoveAx

Well, I'd be lying if I said that #WeLoveAx wasn't the worldwide phenomena that I expected it to be. I mean, you would think saying something nice about one of the best players on your favorite baseball team in a 140 characters or less would be a no-brainer, but apparently not. If there is one thing I've learned in life it's that I do not look good in a thong some people just don't like to do fun stuff. It's like when my old roommate's co-worker came over to our place to borrow something and when I asked him if he wanted a beer he said "You know I'm only 20 right?" Like wouldn't that make you want a beer even more? Does this look like a frickin' bar to you? What are you a cop or something? Relax, dude. That's kind of what this was like. Or maybe it's like Monday night's game when I was walking across the bridge, drunk, celebrating a Brewers win and trying to get a "YES!" chant started. Nobody wanted to do it. They were all content to just walk across the bridge quietly, talking amongst themselves. I don't get it. The Brewers won. We should celebrate and chanting "YES!" is really fun! Really. Go ahead, try it. I'll wait here.

(still waiting)

That's how it is for some people though. They might be afraid of ruining their blog's twitter's "integrity" (kill yourself) or maybe they have such low self esteem that they are worried John Axford will reply to them and tell them they are dumb for saying that (he won't.) Who knows. Or maybe people just thought MY idea was stupid which is totally missing the point. It is stupid, but the point is: just stop thinking about everything so much and be nice. People tweet mean things at John Axford and if you don't like that you should tweet something nice at him to overcome that. It's only 140 characters, it won't kill you.

With that little rant over I want to thank all of you who did participate. I now present to you a few of my favorites. Continue reading →


27
Oct 10

What Brewer would you trust with your girlfriend?

I do my best not to get jealous when it comes to my girlfriend. Whether it's her puzzling lifelong crush on Jason Mraz or the people who won't stop telling me how "lucky" I am to be with her or any of her assorted male best friends, I do my best not to let it bother me. After all she is with me and not them for a reason, I don't know what that reason might be (I suspect some sort of experiment for college credit), but the fact is that she is with me and not them. So I try not to get jealous, but she's attractive and she owns a vagina so she gets hit on a lot. I do my best not to let it bother me, but sometimes it does. Like the other day.

The other day she went to the corner store where we normally go to pick up alcohol and other drinks and the cashier (who never does this sort of thing) asked her if she had a boyfriend. She told him that she did and when he asked if it was "that guy you're always in here with" she told him that yes, that was me and I was her boyfriend. (Good work, btw girlfriend.) I would have preferred "Yeah he's my boyfriend you got a problem with that douchebag? His name is Vince and he will f*ckin' END you for this, dog", but she's not Lil' Kim and probably way too nice to even think to say something like that. Plus, she probably doesn't believe I could actually end anybody. Still, that should have shut him up right? He should be apologizing to her. Apologizing for the great disrespect that he has shown for the two of us and our relationship because we seem like nice people and are probably a really good couple. "Sorry," he should say, "I messed up," but of course he doesn't do that. No, he has something to say. He says "Oh...."

I heard that he was gay.

I heard that he was gay.

I heard that he was gay.

Seriously? That's your play, guy who I always talk to about sports? Really, guy who I once told to "start stocking condoms because I don't want another kid"? That's your move? Really? You sure about that, guy with a neck tattoo who is out of her league anyways?

(And I'm not gay. I watch professional wrestling! There's nothing gay about that, that's for sure!)

It sucks. I can't even trust my girlfriend to buy me a Vitamin Water without some jerkoff trying to hit on her, but the truth is that when it comes to your girlfriend you really can't trust anybody. How many movies are there about best friends in love with the same girl or the guy in love with his brother's fiance? How many vampires have to steal girls from werewolves before we learn that this stuff happens in real life? It happens all the time, every single day and there is only a few people in the world that you can trust.

I know that with my girlfriend I can trust the following people: Continue reading →

  • BrewBay

    2004 SPx Rickie Weeks patch auto autograph jersey 665/999 Milwaukee Brewers
    2004 SPx Rickie Weeks patch auto autograph jersey 665/999 Milwaukee Brewers
    US $9.99
  • Brewers Tickets

  • E-Mail Miller Park Drunk