08
May 13

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Yuni B

yuni-voldemortLet's start this off properly: Yuniesky Betancourt is the worst shortstop in Brewers history. That might not necessarily be true, but it feels true. In 2011, his last full season as the Brewers shortstop, he was the worst everyday shortstop in the league. Or at the very least in the bottom five. Even when he did good things, he always followed them up with boneheaded plays, errors and stupid pop-ups. He was the worst. People called him names, people called into radio shows screaming for his replacement and nobody was a fan of him. Nobody. @atmeiller calls him Voldemort and it makes sense because when he was playing shortstop he removed all the light from the world and each one of his swings spread a flurry of Death Eaters throughout Miller Park. He wasn't good at baseball and we were all glad to see him go.

When the Brewers brought back Yuni B, it was like seeing your ex-girlfriend walk back through your door. Only instead of the moderately attractive girl you remember she was sporting a neck tattoo that read "SLUT" and a Nickelback t-shirt that barely hid her pregnant belly. And the baby is yours. The Brewers re-signing Betancourt felt somewhat like the worst thing ever, but it wasn't. Why? Continue reading →


06
Aug 12

Prime 9: Chillest Brewer Bros

Whenever I'm bored and can't find anything to watch on TV I always switch over to the MLB Network to see what's going on. Most of the time it's just a rerun of the previous night's highlights that gets old in about five minutes, but sometimes they show their original program Prime 9. It's essentially a countdown show that features lots of old footage and talking heads, but the talking heads treat the material with respect and the host isn't annoying. It's usually a fun time.

Unfortunately, it hardly ever features the Brewers and why should it? A list of the 9 greatest World Series moments ever shouldn't include the Milwaukee Brewers nor should the 9 greatest third basemen. As much as I love the Milwaukee Brewers I wouldn't exactly call our history "storied." But that doesn't mean they are without merit. Despite the lack of success I think the Milwaukee Brewers are by far the coolest team to follow in all of the land. The Yankees are like following Berkshire Hathaway, ollowing the Nationals is like following Nickelback and you'd have more fun following the wheelchair kid from Glee after the show ends than following the Cubs.

The Milwaukee Brewers aren't only an awesome baseball team that is going to be awesome again real soon (as soon as this season is over), but they are also a great time. Why? Because the Milwaukee Brewers always have some of the chillest bros in all of baseball on their squad and in honor of those bros we now present to you the 9 Chillest Brewer Bros of all time. Continue reading →

  • BrewBay

    Alex Gonzalez 2013 Game Used Milwaukee Brewers Tucci Lumber Bat Marlins
    Alex Gonzalez 2013 Game Used Milwaukee Brewers Tucci Lumber Bat Marlins
    US $10.50
  • Brewers Tickets

  • E-Mail Miller Park Drunk