06
Oct 11

The Milwaukee Brewers’ Finest Hour

Five days ago I wrote a post titled "NINE" that captured the feelings of a nation. The Brewers were fresh off of two amazing wins in front of a crazy hometown crowd and it felt like they could beat anyone. ESPN and other major websites were writing articles about how the Brewers were "the team nobody wanted to face" and a "World Series favorite." Everything that could go right did and everything that could go wrong didn't. Everything was clicking, everything was perfect and the whole thing just felt amazing. An entire state was on top of the world. At the end of that post I wrote the following:

I am going to try and not get too excited. I'm going to try and not let these two games cloud my vision. I know there is a long way to go. I know these are only two games, but wow... just wow. What a weekend.

Last weekend was awesome, no doubt, but the odds of the Brewers sweeping the playoffs were slim. The odds of them sweeping the Diamondbacks were good, but they weren't a sure thing. A loss in this series was to be expected as the Diamondbacks are a very good baseball team. Two losses, while not ideal, was also a possibility. Losing these games was not the end of the world. Although it certainly does feel that way. Continue reading →


25
Nov 09

Thanksgiving Drunkstravaganza

thanksgivingI love Thanksgiving so, so very much. It combines a few of my favorite pastimes: overeating, drinking heavily, not doing anything, punching family members in the face.  If we could figure out a way to transfer Thanksgiving to the parking lot at Miller Park in mid-August this would be the greatest holiday of all. It still is (why? none of that whiny God shit), but that would make it just that much better like a finger in your asshole during a blowjob. I mean, ummm.... I just... uhh, ummm yeah. So ANYWAYS, Thanksgiving is awesome and I like to consider myself an expert in the holiday. Do I know how to cook turkey and do stuff with the gizard and whatnot? Fuck no. I know how to make this holiday legendary. I know how to turn Thanksgiving into Thanksfuckingyeahgiving. Want to have an awesome holiday? Tired of deciding to go to the movies because you are so bored? Tired of pretending to care about a Cowboys game or using mock outrage that you don't get the NFL Network? Miller Park Drunk is here to guide you through the greatest holiday of them all. Continue reading →


30
Sep 09

Who ya got? 2009 MLB Playoffs

Red Sox Yankees BaseballWell, you aren't going to believe this but after last night's loss to the Rockies the Brewers have been eliminated from playoff contention. Even if the planes carrying the Dodgers, Cardinals, Rockies and Phillies crash into eachother the Brewers still won't make the playoffs. Sad, I know.

Anyways I just found out that the playoffs still happen if the Brewers don't make it and despite the Brewers not being in contention they will still hold a "World Series". I am interested in this and plan to watch these "playoffs" until their logical conclusion which I assume is called the "championship", I don't know I'm new to this whole baseball thing. I only started watching the Brewers last year. Since the Brewers aren't involved I thought we should figure out who we all want to root for and pretend that we were fans of this team for the next six months until the playoffs end. So let's get down to it. Continue reading →


06
Aug 09

Every team needs a punching bag, Jason Kendall is ours

jasonkendallI've been watching baseball my entire life and if there is one thing I've learned it's that you have to hate at least one person on your favorite team at all times. It's impossible to love 25 guys at the same time. You have to dislike a few. All season long Jason Kendall and Jeff Suppan have been neck and neck for the title of punching bag, but with Suppan's injury and Kendall's recent slump it seems that Kendall has taken the crown once and for all. And I couldn't be happier.

With Suppan it's always more about expectations and money than it is about performance. He is not good, I am not saying that he is. It's just that he is a 4th starter and he is expected to be a fourth starter, he just happens to be paid exorbirantly well for a fourth starter. It's not his fault that he took the money, who wouldn't? He is what he is.

With Kendall it's different. He's a catcher and catcher's aren't supposed to hit, but he is so bad at hitting that it's become a joke. The story goes that he overcomes his hitting by his value in handling the pitchers. The pitchers like throwing to him. Let's just go ahead and debunk that REAL QUICK. Continue reading →


22
Jul 09

Does Ryan Braun hate me?

Interesting question poisted to me by commenter Citizens Bank Park Drunk recently: do you think Ryan Braun hates you? His argument was that whenever Ryan Braun does ANYTHING of note we seem to end up making fun of him and someone like Ryan Braun likes to stay connected, likes to know whats going on in the world. Even if he only read more "major" sites like Brew Crew Ball, Decider or Brewers beat writer Adam McCalvy's blog he would have come across a link to us at some point. Or if he googled Remetee, we would come up on the 2nd page. The odds are that if Ryan Braun is looking for information on himself on the internet that he has come across this site and that we haven't been too kind to him. In the past we've made fun of his likeme page, his calling out of teammates, his friendship with A-Rod, his thirst for revenge, his way of getting angry, his clothing line and personally blamed him for troubles with ladies. The only times I've been real "nice" to him are when he turned down the Bachelor and this post where he had an awesome day. It would seem that if Ryan Braun did ever read Miller Park Drunk that he would hate it and that makes me sad. Like real sad. Sad like this little girl.

sadlittlegirl Continue reading →