04
Oct 12

One sixty two and 131

I don't know why exactly, but I liked the 2012 Milwaukee Brewers more than I liked the 2011 Brewers. I can't explain it.

The success of last season probably helped, I believe they could do it more this year because they almost did it last year. They should have done it last year, so they will do it this year. That was the logic at least. I'm sure Ryan Braun's ordeal had something to do with it too. I've always liked Ryan Braun as a baseball player, but the offseason really made me defensive over him as a person. When someone says "u kno braun failed that test cuz he had dat herp rite dude?" it pisses me off. SHUT THE HELL UP, I say. ("but d00d i kno this chick and she like has it too and she boned him" they'll say, but I won't listen because people who know people who openly, almost proudly say that they have STDs and brag about having sex with celebrities are not to be trusted. They are frickin' nutso.) He said he didn't, we should believe him. He said he didn't do anything wrong, we should believe him. He was cleared of the charges, we should drop it. ET CETERA. Plus, the general newness of the roster probably helped a lot too. Everybody likes playing with new toys. Japanese outfielder? I always wanted one of those! Thanks mom!

Whatever the reason I liked this team a lot. A lot, a lot and they repaid me by breaking my heart. Thanks for that one guys. Continue reading →


31
Aug 12

TRL Friday: Fire Doug Melvin, Apocalypses and more

Going to try something new on Fridays that we'll call TRL Friday. Basically you (you) send me questions on Twitter and I (Vince) answer them here on the blog. (I should admit I stole this idea from my buddy Tom.) I'll keep doing it as long as I get questions. So hit me up @millerparkdrunk hashtag TRL AOL keyword baseball Ask Jeeves. Cool? Cool. Now let's go.

mgnirk asks if we think Doug Melvin's job is in jeopardy.

Short answer: No.

Long answer: Hell no.

While this season has been a huge disappointment and Mark Attanasio is probably not too happy about it he still has to realize what a great team Doug Melvin put together. He absolutely nailed the Aramis Ramirez and Norichika Aoki signings. The Lucroy extension is looking good. The rotation has been one of the better ones around and that's with Shaun Marcum missing a large amount of time with an injury. You can't fire your GM for the bullpen's performance especially when your top two (who never had ERAs close to 4 in their career) post 5+ ERAs. I don't think anyone could have seen that coming. One of the two maybe, but no way both.

In retrospect they probably should have gotten another decent bullpen arm in the offseason. Jose Veras was basically expected to be the number three guy out there and, well, maybe someone who is traded straight up for Casey McGehee isn't the best choice for that role. Just saying.

SecondHandStore wants to know which APOCALYPSE would be worse: Cat, Duck, Zombie, or Robot?

Well, obviously, the answer is robot. Have you seen the future in the Terminator movies? That place is bleak, man. There is nothing redeeming about that place whatsoever. It's like Detroit, but everywhere.

There has been so much zombie stuff on TV and in movies over the past few years that I feel like a zombie apocalypse wouldn't even be that big of a deal. We all know how to kill them, we would all really get off on the fact that we get to kill them and the whole thing would be over in a day or two.

As for the apocalypse I fear the most? Cat apocalypse. They don't make enough Zyrtec in the world for my allergies to handle a Cat apocalypse.

BMWolf7 asks if Rickie Weeks would be faster with less hair.

Who am I, Bill Nye? I don't know science, man.

How about this question: Is it time for Rickie Weeks to get a new hairstyle? The answer is yes.

In 2009 I wrote a post about Rickie looking like Play from Kid N' Play and I am pretty sure he hasn't cut his hair since. Is this Intervention worthy? It does look pretty cool, but enough is enough man. You aren't joining SOJA.

timmyt3477 is wondering if there is a Miller Park Stoner and if not wonders where he can apply.

I don't think there is a Miller Park Stoner, but if I had to do it all over again I might have went with that. (Actually, I wouldn't because I have preemie lungs and smoking makes me cough, but still hear me out.)

Think about it. Drinking makes you all emotional. Last night I drank a bottle of wine and started watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where Angel breaks up with her, but then she goes to the prom and her class gives her an award for saving their lives so many times and then Angel shows up for one last dance. You know what happened? Tears started coming out of my face because of an episode of a TV show that aired 13 years ago. This is definitely the alcohol's fault and not because I am a huge pussy. Drinking is the worst.

Oh, but what does weed do to you? It relaxes you. It makes you feel good. It expands your mind, man. Did you watch yesterday's Brewers loss to the Cubs? With K-Rod blowing the lead and Alfonso Soriano (really) hitting the game winning single? Did you see that? Wasn't it terrible? Now imagine it ON WEED. It was kind of awesome, wasn't it? You saw deep into the soul of this baseball team and saw a scared white tiger that didn't know it's own strength. When Alfonso Soriano hit that ball it didn't phase you. You ate like three bags of Cheetos and stared at your orange fingers for an hour. It was like looking at the back of a five dollar bill, but better. You probably don't even remember who won and you don't care. Why? Because you got glow sticks, that's why. Being the Miller Park Stoner would be awesome. Although I imagine you won't get much writing done.

JakeInWisconsin asks if I'd like to see Zack Greinke return next season.

I guess? I mean, he's really good at baseball and if he wants to play here under a reasonable deal it's pretty hard to say no to that. He's been the 9th best pitcher by WAR in all of baseball over the past three seasons so having a guy like that on your team would be pretty awesome.

That being said I am not really in love with the idea and won't be upset if they don't even try. For one Zack Greinke is going to be really expensive and not only that he'll also require a lot of years which is what always gets you on those contracts. In 2019 I don't want my son bitching about this old weirdo who sucks taking up roster space and payroll. That wouldn't be fun for me. (Then again who even knows if there will be baseball in 2019 after the Cat Apocalypse.) Besides isn't it always fun to start fresh with someone new? Mike Fiers might not be even half as good as Greinke, but he's new and exciting. It's fun to see what he'll do next. We know what Greinke will do next and it will either be really awesome or really frustrating. Forget that. Getting back Zack Greinke would be like getting back together with your high school girlfriend. Sure, she might still be attractive, but you've been there and done that. New is always better. Even if it's not actually better. You know?


27
Feb 12

John Axford: Filmmaker

Fans of John Axford may know that he is quite the film buff. On twitter this weekend he had a lot to say about the Oscars and correctly picked 11 out of 13 winners. He majored in film in college at Notre Dame and even shot his own 16MM film with some friends while they were there. His love affair with film doesn't stop there either. In an interview with Adam McCalvy, John said that he has "lots of stories" in his head and foresees himself taking a shot at film in the future.

What you may not know is that John Axford has already started preparing for his post-baseball career in Hollywood. In fact, we have recently acquired a few pages from John Axford's spec script that he has been working on during the offseason. I can't 100% confirm it's validity, but it was sent to me by someone who identified themselves to me as "one of johns bros from notre dam bro" so I think it's pretty legit.

Continue reading →


27
Apr 10

Bradley Center Drunk returns

During the offseason I wrote about the Bucks a couple of times. There was this faux chat that turned all too real (then again predicting Redd and Bogut to get hurt isn't that big of a gamble) and this long, beautiful love letter to Brandon Jennings which is one of my favorite things I've ever written here. Here's what I said then, just three games into the new season.

Brandon Jennings is the most important athlete in Wisconsin not named Rodgers, Fielder or Braun.

There, I said it. It's out there and I can't take it back. After watching the Bucks take on the Chicago Bulls last night, I feel this stronger than anything I've felt since I said that The Happy Youngster was a douchebag. I've made my fair share of Bucks jokes in the past and I've even made fun of Brandon Jennings before, but I had no idea he was this good. I had no idea that he'd be, within three games, the best point guard the Bucks have had since Sam Cassell flew away on his spaceship.

And now here we are. Tied 2-2 in an NBA playoff series which means that the BUCKS are in the playoffs. Crazy, right? This is a team that drafted Joe Alexander and Yi Jianlian as serious lottery picks. A team that hasn't had a winning season since 2002-2003. This not only was not supposed to happen like this, it wasn't supposed to happen at all. Yet here we and there's a pretty good chance I completely underrated Brandon Jennings.

I was at the Bradley Center and it was rocking like I've never seen it before. The crowd was electric all night and there is no doubt in my mind that Josh Smith has serious regrets about ever saying a thing about Milwaukee. (How did he not get a technical in the second quarter?) Would any of this have happened without Brandon Jennings? We can talk about all day about John Hammonds making great moves all season long. Delfino, Salmons, Stackhouse, but it all starts with Brandon Jennings. He singlehandedly turned the tables of this franchise and the more and more I think about it I can't believe that Brandon Jennings is a Buck. Guys like Brandon Jennings just aren't supposed to be Bucks, like guys like Ryan Braun aren't supposed to be Brewers. Continue reading →


12
Jan 10

Gender roles in modern society (the one where we talk about banging a Brewer)

I have a question for the male readers of the site. Have you ever been pondering the offseason moves of the Brewers and thought to yourself "I am glad they re-signed Craig Counsell, he's kinda hot"? I mean, everyone has had that conversation with a friend that starts like "I know you're not gay, but..." and you immediately yell out "DONNIE FROM NEW KIDS!", right? And then after having that conversation you continue on to "Okay I know you are totally straight and stuff, but which Brewers player would you have sex with if you had to?" No? You've never had that conversation with one of your buddies? Not even once? Really? Well, I guess I'll just have to tell you about it then because Tyler and I have had that conversation many, many times and we'd like to share one with you. Why? Because we are so totally okay with our sexuality that we don't care who reads it! We don't care if the guys we are writing about making sweet love to us read it, we want them to! So, like, forward this to them. Please.

Vince: Hey Tyler, I've got a question for you that's been bothering me for awhile and I want your opinion on it. If you had to have sex with a member of the Milwaukee Brewers, who would it be? Continue reading →

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