Hey, just because the season is over and the Brewers aren't able to hang out doesn't mean that they don't talk every once in awhile. In fact, I have it on good authority that a few members of the team get together every month and engage in a conference call just to catch up on what's going on with their lives. What a team of great guys! Being THE inside source for Brewers clubhouse news I was allowed to sit in on the latest clubhouse conference call and transcribe it for you gentle readers! Get excited! Continue reading →
Hey, look at that it's our 300th post! Kind of funny that we have no real content for it except to say that the incomparable Tyler Maas and I took some time off from our procrastinating busy schedules to talk about the Brewers offseason and make a few rape jokes for the Onion AV Club. It's much better than the last time we chatted online and I only make one reference to Rookie of the Year. You have to love the super catchy title, "What should the Brewers do in the off-season?" I guess my title "JJ Hardy won't be screwing my girlfriend anymore" wasn't up to the Onion's standards. Oh well, live and learn.
Ryan Braun loves him some offseason projects. He doesn't want to be a baseball player. He wants to be Coke, he wants to be Pepsi, he wants to be Chevy, Ford and BMW. Ryan Braun isn't just an All-Star, he's a brand. The name Ryan Braun equals quality and it reaches far beyond the baseball field. Whether it's Ryan Braun's Tavern and Grille, RB8 or Remetee, he sets out to do good things. I like Ryan Braun, he impresses me.
Why should he stop here? He needs to just keep getting bigger and bigger. Obviously the next logical step is movies and boy oh boy, do I have the perfect movie pitch for you Ryan Braun. You want to be a movie star? You want to extend your brand? You want to get laid about 15,000 times more than you do now? Well, I've written you a screenplay that will BLOW YOUR MIND and surely become one of the top box office hits of 2010 (that's right, we're fast tracking this baby!) I have the story that's going to take Ryan Braun from "Major League Baseball Star" to "Bigger than Jesus, Babe Ruth, Leonardo DiCaprio and 80's Michael Jackson combined". I have the idea that is going to make Shaq and his movies like, well, Shaq movies. Are you ready for this? Are you ready for....
When a group of Neo-Nazi's seek to re-animate Hitler and kill all the famous Jewish people in the world, there's only one man who can stop them and his name is Ryan Braun.
It's time for this Jewish All-Star to deliver some suffering of his own - with a baseball bat!