17
Jul 14

The Best And Worst of the Milwaukee Brewers First Half

It's a semi-annual feature, the Best and Worst of the Milwaukee Brewers first half! The first half of the season is done so it's time for us to once again steal the Best and Worst format from With Spandex and cover the good, the bad and the ugly of the Brewers first half.

But before we get into that, I need to remind you that the Miller Park Drunk Pants Party aka The Greatest Tailgate Party Of The Summer is coming up in just ten days. Strangely, there are still tickets available and we would really like for you to come. Tickets include a game ticket, beer koozie, commemorative cup, all-you-can-eat delicious tailgate food and all-you-can-drink beer/strawberry, jalapeno and watermelon infused margaritas/more. We are grilling up brats, bringing back the brat pizza from last year and doing NY-themed meatball sandwiches. It's going to be good. The game is 7/27. You can get four tickets for $120. All you need to do is show up and watch the Brewers beat the Mets. You will have the time of your life. Do it. (And if you can't go you can at least buy a koozie pack.)

The Brewers are in first place so this should be easy, right? Everything is a best! It is the greatest season ever! We are cruising into the playoffs! Right? Right?! Continue reading →


20
Jun 13

Homestander: Pants Party Edition

HomestanderEach Thursday preceding Brewers weekend home stands, Tyler Maas will help prepare fans for all elements of the upcoming series with the Homestander. Tyler prints Wisconsin-themed shirts at Forward Fabrics and contributes to such fine publications as Milwaukee Magazine and The A.V. Club Milwaukee. All views, naughty words and weirdo sentiments are his own. Follow him at @TylerJamesMaas.

After Vince and I spent countless hours of planning, crowdsourcing, screen printing, drinking a bunch in the 400 level of Miller Park and calling it a meeting, and anticipating for weeks, Pants Party weekend is nearly upon us. For those of you who will be there, I'm excited to get blotto in your presence. So excited, in fact, that I can't even think of an intro. I hope you guys asked off Monday.

Continue reading →


30
Aug 10

Miller Park Drunk’s Finest Hour

I can say without a shadow of a doubt that Miller Park Drunk's Pants Party was a huge success. It seemed like everyone who came wanted to have a good time and I think that everyone there got exactly what they wanted and more. There were little problems here and there, but none of it ended up having an effect on anyone's good time and that's all you can really ask for.

The party started right when people were allowed in the park at 10 AM (nearly half the party showed up right at ten on the dot) and didn't stop for some until about the third inning when a combination of the kegs being empty and the cops telling us to go inside did the party in. (Honestly, this was probably for the best.)

While lasting at most four hours, the party (not including the game which was also nice, Braun was 4 for 4 with a homerun and a broken arm) had a little bit of everything and in some ways was a perfect representation of this site and what we try to do around here. If you wanted to talk about baseball the whole time, you could do that. If you wanted to get really drunk, you could do that and if you wanted stuff your face with ballpark food, you could that too. There was a little something for everyone and great times were had. I honestly can't picture it working out any better than it did.

I'd like to thank everyone that came and participated. I just brought everyone together, but you all did as much to make it fun as anyone else. I can't thank you enough. Everyone had their party pants on yesterday and the party was better for it. I'd also like to thank a few people specifically:

- Ryan: For being an amazing cook and keeping the food flowing throughout the park. This party wouldn't have been half as good without the spread he created and executed.
- Larry from wezen-ball: Who did just as much to promote this party and get people to come as I did. I don't know why he did it, but I'm glad he did.
- The girls with the personalized shirts: For bringing the fun and keeping everyone involved. Lucky guy I am to have friends like you.
- Tyler Maas: For being an endless source of comedy, intentionally and unintentionally, for the entirety of the party.

I put in a lot of work to pull this party off, but in the end the entire thing came off completely effortless and fun. It was just a good time for everyone and that's why I can't wait for next time and neither can anyone else. (Coming in 2011, Pants Party 2: Electric Boogaloo.) There will be a next time next season and when it happens I expect at least 90% of the people who were there yesterday to return for the squeakquel and in the end that's the best thing I can say about it.

Also, this happened. Continue reading →


16
Aug 10

Are you going to the Brewers game on 8/29? Come to the Pants Party

It's come to my attention that there are many of you who would really like to go to Miller Park Drunk's Pants Party, but you have already purchased tickets to the 8/29 Brewers game. It would be stupid of you to buy a ticket to a game that you already have tickets for and I don't blame you, but what if I told you there was a way you could come? What if I told you that for only $10 you could come and drink with these people and eat these amazing foods, is that something you'd be interested in? It's going to be a great party featuring writers from Brew Crew Ball, Wezen Ball, Disciples of Uecker, Fangraphs and Alcoholmanac Magazine, a veritable who's who of Brewers/baseball/magazine you read at the bar because you were bored writers. Plus, there will be beer and food for you to eat. Lots of it. You could even win something.

I know what you're thinking "I don't know $10 seems a little steep. I could get a brat and 1/4th of a beer inside the park for $10." and you would have a point (it's more like 1/5th), but I think that it will be worth it for you to come. The food is going to be amazing, there is going to be way too much beer for our own good, the people are going to be cool (like me, I have a blog on the internet so I must be cool), we're going to be giving away stuff, we'll have bags and other drinking games (Catchphrase anyone?) and it's not like you have anything better to do before the game. Like I've said before every dollar we get is going back into the party so your money will be put to good use, whether it's scoring some blow, making extra Drunken Polish Sausage Mac N Cheese or adding another keg of beer. Space is really limited on these so hurry up and buy your passes if you want to party with us, but leave before we get too drunk and embarrass you. It's going to be fun. We promise.

Ten bucks, join us.






12
Aug 10

What’s So Great About the First Inning?

I want you to come to my party. I really do. We have a great menu, there is going to be beer and there are going to be lots of fun and interesting people for you to talk to. One of these people is my good friend Lar from the incomparable wezen-ball. He is going to the party and he wants you to too. He was even nice enough to write this post for us, convincing you to go. He's really smart. You should listen to him.

I don’t know about you, but I’m one of those baseball fans who just has to be in my seat at first pitch. Even when I’m tailgating, if I have any control of when the group gets into the ballpark, I do everything I can to get everyone moving towards the stadium well before first pitch. If that means cooling the charcoal down at 12:30 and throwing the folding chairs in the trunk at 12:45, it’s what I’m going to do. There’s just a simple joy in being comfortably in your seat by the time the Brewers run onto the field. It beats racing up the ramp or impatiently riding the escalator to your seat any day of the week. I’m sure the fact that I like to keep score for all nine innings - and that I never leave a game early, for fear of missing out on the greatest comeback of all time - plays an important part in all that.

But the Pants Party is coming up in two weeks, and with all the excellent food that is being offered and the promise of fascinating, intelligent company - or, at the least, a group of people who like to drink, eat brats, watch Brewers baseball, and complain about Anthony Witrado - that first inning fetish is going to be tested. What happens if I’m on my third chorizo quesadilla with a side of drunken Polish mac’n’cheese and a cup of Riverwest Stein in my hand while chatting and I realize that the game is about to start? Or, even worse, I hear the fireworks going off signalling the start of the bottom of the first? Do I freak out, throw my brat and beer down on the ground and hightail it across the bridge over to Miller Park? Or do I instead try to practice the Midwestern version of zen baseball and just let it slide?

In order to help me ignore choice 1 and instead focus on choice B, I offer this list of why the first inning sucks and why we should all be okay with missing it. After all, if I’m missing that first inning, there’s no way you’re going to be able to tear yourself away from my fascinating conversation and hightail it over there yourself: Continue reading →

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