So the other day I tell someone my name. I say "Hey, my name is Vince" and they get all excited and say "Whaaat!? VINCE!? You must be Italian!" Umm, no I'm not actually. "HUH!?" they say, "How would you ever get the name Vince if you weren't Italian?" Because that's what my parents named me when I was born?
The thing is that this isn't the first time this has happened to me. It happens all the time. Like several times per year. I wonder if this ever happens to Vince Carter. Or Vincent Jackson. Or Vince McMahon. I bet Vince McMahon would murder someone for saying something like that.
So, why do people think that Italians own the name Vince? When I was looking in a baby name book I didn't see an asterisk next to the name Vince and big bold letters that said ITALIANS ONLY. Was there supposed to be? Am I breaking some sort of name code? Am I going to get whacked?
Anyways, we better get this TRL Friday over with before the mob comes for me so let's get to the questions. Continue reading »
Last night the Brewers saw a pretty cool record take place. No, I'm not talking about becoming only the seventh team in history to give up four straight homeruns in an inning. That'd be stupid. Why would I want to talk about that? HUH? WHY!? MY PARENTS GOT DIVORCED WHEN I WAS A KID DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT TOO!? (*takes deep breath, hugs Teddy Ruxpin*)
No, what I am talking about is Prince Fielder starting his 300th consecutive game. He already broke Robin Yount's 274 game streak earlier this season, but you know how baseball is with it's big round numbers and 300 just sounds better than 274. Coming on a week in which we saw the Brewers roll out an outfield of Alcides Escobar, Joe Inglett and Lorenzo Cain because of injuries to Braun and Hart, it becomes even more impressive. I mean, if you put Braun, Fielder and Hart in a lineup and asked someone to pick the healthiest of the three would anyone pick Prince? Anyone? Yet, that's the way it's been for over two years now. In fact, since becoming a Brewer Prince Fielder has never spent anytime on the DL and the least amount of games he's played in a full season is 157. Since 2006 Prince has appeared in 751 of a possible 763 games. Seriously. Prince is the shit, yo. Continue reading »
I had this friend once, we've all had this friend once or twice, that broke up with his girlfriend and it was an ugly breakup. People were put in the middle of things that they wanted no part of, friendships were lost and the whole thing was wholly un-enjoyable for everyone. After things started to blow over he started to call her at bar time, you know what for. This was a terrible decision. Sure, the reason he called her would work out in his favor, but it was the morning and the days after that would be the problem. The same old drama would bring itself back up and they'd have to have a talk. Nobody likes to have talks. I once saw a man jump out of a five story building to avoid having a talk. Still, a week later the same thing would happen all over again. Why?
Prince Fielder likes to swing at high fastballs. He does this a lot. He does this a lot with two strikes on him when you and me and everyone we know know it's coming. Hey Prince, don't swing at this pitch because it's going to be a high fastball and you can't catch up to it! And then he strikes out. This happens all the time. There is no way that the other team doesn't know that he likes to swing at high fastballs because everyone knows he likes to swing at high fastballs and they continue to be thrown at him in these types of situations. Most of the time, he strikes out. Why?
I am a regular attendant of what people like to call "after bars". The period between whenever I arrived at the bar (anywhere from 1PM to 12AM) until the time they close is just not enough for me sometimes and I need to go somewhere that I can drink more. I don't really care where it is; my place, a backyard, a hotel room, a friend of mine who still lives with his parents' basement or anywhere else. Hell, I don't care WHAT it is. I once had an after bar with a bottle of Apple Pucker. I just like to continue drinking with people long after the bar is closed. No matter what I have to do in the morning, I do this. I know it's not smart or necessary, I just do it. Why?
Manny Parra has a problem with pitch counts. It takes him a lot of pitches to get through innings. In his seven starts this season he has never made it past the sixth inning and in every game that he has made it through at least 5 he has thrown over 90 pitches. This isn't efficient. For Manny Parra to give himself and the team the best chance at winning he needs to go deeper into games, but he doesn't. Why? Continue reading »
Sometimes I wonder why I even watch this god awful sport. The World Series champion New York Yankees, the richest team in any sport that have a value almost 5x that of the Milwaukee Brewers, have stolen another one from the poor, stupid teams like us. Mike Rivera has signed with the New York Yankees and I think we all know what this one was about. These stupid baseball players, all they care about is money! You know it's not enough to offer a major league job and a nice city to play in, these greedy a-holes want more. MONEY, MONEY, MONEY! Why do I even bother to follow this team? Why do I even write this stupid blog? I mean, it's not like the players care! Nooooooo, they just go to whoever offers them the most money. Mike Rivera doesn't care if I get diagnosed with a life threatening disease and the only thing that can cure me is him re-signing with the Brewers, all he cares about is padding his wallet! NEW YORK NEW YORK! THE CITY THAT NEVER F'N SLEEPS! WHERE MONEY RAINS FROM THE SKY AND YOU CAN TAKE YOUR DRIVER'S TEST IN 400 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES! Man, screw New York. Seriously, New York you can f right off.
It's just sad, you know, that a small market team like the Brewers can't compete dollar for dollar with a team like the Yankees. Kids grow up rooting for their heroes, but as soon as their heroes become free agents they leave the kids behind. (It's just like my parents divorce really.) Whatever. CONGRATULATIONS MIKE RIVERA I hope you are happy to know that you have ruined my Christmas with your evil, greedy ways. The Mike Rivera jersey I got from Santa is now kindling in my fire! Thanks for nothing, JERK!
EDIT: It appears that Mike Rivera was actually non-tendered by the Brewers who didn't want him back and he signed a minor league deal with the Yankees. So, sorry about that Mike. I take it back.
I am nothing if not a people pleaser so when a commenter requested that we do a story about the Brewers being more open to running next year and "what the Brewers are running from?" I had to oblige and present you THE RUNNING SERIES.
I was just a kid.
Playing my first season in America after spending my whole life in the Dominican Republic was quite a culture shock to me. Continue reading »