07
May 13

The best tailgate party of the year returns

PANTS PARTY 3 TIME IS NEAR!

pp3-tshirtThis year's Pants Party is going to be the absolute best. For those of you who don't follow us on social media, we are doing the Pants Party 3 funding entirely through IndieGoGo. What does this mean? It means we have multiple reward levels designed to allow us to hold the biggest Pants Party yet. You want your name on your shirt? We can do that. You want a set a bags to go along with your tickets? We got that. You want to go to Saturday's game? We got you. You want your own booze? We got that too. Unless you want a blownado, we probably got you covered.

The party will be on Sunday June 23rd before the 1:10 game against the Atlanta Braves. (This is also Polish Heritage Day and everyone who actually makes it inside will get a Polish Sausage bobblehead.) The party will start as soon as they start letting cars in the parking lot. We will have all-you-can-drink beer, an additional drinking option (think jungle juice,) all-you-can-eat food (brats, as well as some next level tailgating food,) tailgating games, t-shirts, stickers and much, much more. I am not kidding when I say that it is going to be the best tailgate party of the year. It's going to be the best tailgate party of the year.

How much do I believe in this thing? So much I made this video. Continue reading →


29
May 12

Pants Party 2: Sausage Fest

On August 29th 2010 people gathered at Miller Park from all over the fine state of Wisconsin to take part in an event known as "Miller Park Drunk's Pants Party." Few knew what they were getting into before the event, but after some amazing food, a great party, a Brewers win and a pantsless kegstand; everyone who attended realized they just had one of the greatest times ever and their lives were never the same a-gain.

For a variety of reasons 2011 did not feature a return event and many people were left extremely disappointed. Some turned to hard drugs to ease the pain, others to crime. (One dude even ate another dude's face in Florida.) Relationships crumbled, the dead rose from the grave, humans were sacrificed, cats and dogs started living together... it was mass hysteria! But that's all over now because today is a new dawn.

The clouds have parted, the sun has come out and Miller Park Drunk's Pants Party has returned. Rejoice because on July 15th...

Continue reading →


16
May 12

FJM: Milwaukee Brewers, Fire Sale Time?

At some point in this site's history I joined the Yardbarker network and because I did that I had to put this little link box thing that you see on the right side of this page with some relevant links to other Milwaukee Brewers content on their network. I was told if I did this that I would get more hits, more exposure and more money. While I'm still waiting on basically all of those things I have still had the chance to check out some other Brewers websites that I normally wouldn't have otherwise. Why wouldn't I have read them you ask? Because they are not good, that's why. I don't know nearly enough about Yardbarker to make judgements on them, but from what I've seen regarding the Brewers they will basically let anyone become a member of their network.

One of these sites would be LosersBracket which seems like your basic "pictures of hot girls mixed with sports opinions" site. Kind of a poor man's Busted Coverage. These sites are great because you don't really need to have any knowledge of sports to run one and you'll still get hits because omgboobz. I would normally just ignore their content, but sometimes someone writes something so bad, so dumb, so devoid of intelligence that you have to do something to it. You have to FJM it. Continue reading →


09
Apr 10

How to have sex in the bathroom at a stadium

Well, it happened again. Someone had sex in the bathroom (with another person) of a Major League park that wasn't me. I mean, what the hell man? It's not like I haven't tried. Okay, maybe I haven't really tried at all but still. For the amount of games I go to you would think that the opportunity would have arisen by now. It's like catching a foul ball right?

Luckily, unlike catching a foul ball there is something I can do about it. No, I'm not talking about roofies. I would never share those. I'm talking about taking matters into my own hands. I'm talking about emailing every known bathroom sex having person and asking them how they did it. I'm talking about soliciting the advice of experts. So unlike my guides for sneaking in booze, getting over a hangover or killing a homeless man in the parking lot and disposing of his body before game time (whoops haven't written that one yet), this is a guide of something that I haven't actually done yet. This is a guide to guide me too. It's an interactive experience here at Miller Park Drunk.

Since much of our fanbase is made up of women we will be providing guides for both men and women. Up first, the ladies.

Continue reading →


25
Nov 09

Thanksgiving Drunkstravaganza

thanksgivingI love Thanksgiving so, so very much. It combines a few of my favorite pastimes: overeating, drinking heavily, not doing anything, punching family members in the face.  If we could figure out a way to transfer Thanksgiving to the parking lot at Miller Park in mid-August this would be the greatest holiday of all. It still is (why? none of that whiny God shit), but that would make it just that much better like a finger in your asshole during a blowjob. I mean, ummm.... I just... uhh, ummm yeah. So ANYWAYS, Thanksgiving is awesome and I like to consider myself an expert in the holiday. Do I know how to cook turkey and do stuff with the gizard and whatnot? Fuck no. I know how to make this holiday legendary. I know how to turn Thanksgiving into Thanksfuckingyeahgiving. Want to have an awesome holiday? Tired of deciding to go to the movies because you are so bored? Tired of pretending to care about a Cowboys game or using mock outrage that you don't get the NFL Network? Miller Park Drunk is here to guide you through the greatest holiday of them all. Continue reading →