Tag Archives: pitches

Hey Ryan Braun, let’s make a movie!

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Ryan Braun loves him some offseason projects. He doesn't want to be a baseball player. He wants to be Coke, he wants to be Pepsi, he wants to be Chevy, Ford and BMW. Ryan Braun isn't just an All-Star, he's a brand. The name Ryan Braun equals quality and it reaches far beyond the baseball field. Whether it's Ryan Braun's Tavern and Grille, RB8 or Remetee, he sets out to do good things. I like Ryan Braun, he impresses me.

Why should he stop here? He needs to just keep getting bigger and bigger. Obviously the next logical step is movies and boy oh boy, do I have the perfect movie pitch for you Ryan Braun. You want to be a movie star? You want to extend your brand? You want to get laid about 15,000 times more than you do now? Well, I've written you a screenplay that will BLOW YOUR MIND and surely become one of the top box office hits of 2010 (that's right, we're fast tracking this baby!) I have the story that's going to take Ryan Braun from "Major League Baseball Star" to "Bigger than Jesus, Babe Ruth, Leonardo DiCaprio and 80's Michael Jackson combined". I have the idea that is going to make Shaq and his movies like, well, Shaq movies. Are you ready for this? Are you ready for....

ryan braun jew commando

When a group of Neo-Nazi's seek to re-animate Hitler and kill all the famous Jewish people in the world, there's only one man who can stop them and his name is Ryan Braun.

It's time for this Jewish All-Star to deliver some suffering of his own - with a baseball bat!

Call me.

Miller Park Drunk welcomes Rick Peterson

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rickpetersonI've been a fan of Drew Rick Peterson for a long time. His approach to a pitching staff is a pretty simple one of throw strikes, don't walk people and don't give up homeruns. Oh, and don't get injured. I've argued in the past that it is injuries to pitchers, above all else, that cost the Brewers their 2009 season and sometimes I almost believe it. Rick Peterson, it seems, believes it too.

They won 80 games with a (rotation) ranked last in the league. If you can just get it to the middle of the pack, you're probably looking at 90 wins.

So we agree then? Awesome. Today, I read an old interview he did with Baseball Prospectus (which you should totally read) and found something that even Manny Parra can get excited about.

BP: Does this mean you need to be incredibly smart to pitch for the A's?

RP: No, not at all.

Clearly this is a great, great hire for the Brewers and I really couldn't be more excited about it. He wants to integrate an organizational philosophy on pitching, a philosophy that Doug Melvin also wants and I think he's the perfect man to do the job. His philosophy worked great in Oakland and then not so great in New York, but I always felt that was more to do with the Mets not being open to his ideas than anything he did. Give the "Big 3" all the credit you want to for his success, but the Brewers are putting his chances of success in Milwaukee in his own hands and I don't think he's going to let us down.

Peterson told the press that he couldn't wait to get started and would begin studying the current staff immediately. I imagine he's going to be watching a lot of video and then doing a report card of sorts. We here at Miller Park Drunk always want to do our best to help and have compiled a guide to the pitching performances that can help guide Peterson in his studies. What can I say? We're the giving sort. Continue reading »

Witrado’s Quest 3

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The slow news days have begun and due to MLB rules there is only a playoff game once every six days. What do we do? Inspired by our favorite site The Dugout, we've decided to follow our favorite JSOnline writer Anthony Witrado on a quest. A quest to find love, adulation and respect in a cruel world that doesn't understand him or particularly like him. Will he find what he's been seeking? Or will he fail at it, like he's failed at life so many times before? Find out in Witrado's Quest: A Miller Park Drunk Event.

In part one Anthony learned that his fellow writers at the Journal Sentinel were not fans of his. In part two convinced that they were the only ones, Anthony set off to find someone who liked him at Miller Park only to be met with more failure and a cross-dressing Doug Melvin. Blaming the state of Wisconsin instead of his own shortcomings, Anthony headed back to his home in California where his favorite team was playing a meaningful game. Continue reading »

10 Things I Won’t Miss About The Brewers

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Brewers Dodgers BaseballWe've decided against doing a long, season retrospective post about the team. There is simply too much to talk about. For instance the pitching staff deserved its own post. Prince Fielder probably deserves his own post. So we're not done writing about the Brewers, not by a longshot. That being said, there are a few things that I am not going to be writing about. Things that bothered me all season long that I am so happy we don't have to put up with anymore. Things like Anthony Witrado and The Happy Youngster. Things like this:

  1. Tom Haudricourt's Twitter: Tyler Maas covered this excellently over the summer, but it needs to be reiterated. This was the most depressing thing to read about the Brewers all season. How anyone could hate watching the Brewers play baseball so much and be employed to write about it, I'll never know. The only thing worse than his constant complaining about the Brewers is his attempts at humor. Leave it to the professionals buddy. In his defense it's not like he just hates the Brewers, he hates his alma mater too.  Continue reading »

THIS pitching staff wasn’t THAT bad

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davebushhurtWhy do I do this to myself? Why do I read anything on the JSOnline, anything written by Anthony Witrado or anything someone paid Anthony Witrado to do? Do I hate myself? I read Anthony Witrado's last chat of the season and was constantly pissed off while reading it. People asking if Corey Patterson would be our 2010 centerfielder, Witrado fellating Lopez, Witrado saying that Braun or Fielder would net Halladay and just, well, everything. It was all bad. The thing that pissed me off the most though, was this quote from A-dub.

No manager in the history of the game could have taken this team to the post-season with the way the starting pitching was built. Nobody. As any manager does, Macha has fair criticisms, but he almost deserves and INC for this season because the tools weren't in the shed to properly live up to expectations. You will never win by hitting, alone. You NEED to be able to pitch. Some things people don't like can be pinned on Macha, but not that.

Apparently the Brewers had the worst pitching in the history of baseball this season and had no chance to compete. Which is funny when you consider that on July 1st they were in first place.

Now, I'm not saying that the pitching was good. It wasn't, but it was good enough to have them competing for the division crown at the halfway point of the season. It was good enough for them to be among the frontrunners in the National League Central and National League Wild Card races. Unfortunately, there were a few things didn't go their way. Continue reading »