02
Aug 12

Six stupid things people need to stop doing right now

I really didn't mean to do two "people are dumb" posts in a single Off Topic Week, but sometimes you just have to. I have a captive audience here and hopefully my words can hope to better mankind. It's the entire point of running a site called Miller Park Drunk really.

I am a writer and as a writer I am a keen observer of the human condition. I am also a borderline alcoholic so I spend a lot of time drinking in public with other people. Thirdly, all my best friends are dumb (except for you, best friend who is reading this.) Because of this unique combination I have a window into humanity that not many other people do. I see people do things on a daily basis. I see things that bother me, things I love, things I hate, but mostly things that annoy the hell out of me. Look, I'm not one of these people who hates everyone and everything. I really want to like people. I want to have a good time and have lots of friends and be happy, but some people just make it so hard to do that. What is the problem guys? Be young. Have fun. Drink Pepsi.

There are many annoying traits in people that I can handle. Stupid laughs, loud gum chewing, bad taste in movies and overuse of cologne are all traits that I dislike, but can accept and remain friends with you. However, if you do any of these following six things? Fix it. Right now. Or we are donezo. Continue reading →


16
Jun 12

Pants Party 2 is one month away!

We are now one month away from Miller Park Drunk's Pants Party 2 and somehow there are still tickets available. I don't know why. It's a great deal and you get to drink with some of the coolest people around (and Tyler.) We're drinking, we're eating, we're playing games and we're giving a ton of stuff away in a raffle. It's going to be a good time. So why aren't we sold out?

Well, I have a theory. You see about a year ago I broke up with my girlfriend and somehow thought writing terrible blog posts would get her back. (It didn't. Thank god.) What I didn't think of at the time was that I sounded like a total pussy and a year later nobody would want to come to my Pants Party because they think I have no balls. Seriously, look at this:

Not trying to get too "inside baseball" here, but the truth is that when you stop being yourself you stop being someone that people like to spend time with. Being "the" Miller Park Drunk all the time was a stupid goal and I've changed in a way where that isn't what I want to do anymore, but that doesn't mean that I want to stop having great times at Brewers games.

(Excuse me I have to stab myself in the eye with a lead based pencil a few times. Be right back.) Continue reading →

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