27
Mar 13

Kyle Lohse, Yuniesky Betancourt and The End of the World

It has been a tough week for Brewers diehards as the Brewers have made moves that seemingly go against the very core of who they are and what they believe in.

dealwithitFirst, the Brewers had the audacity to add a 2-3 win player to the rotation by signing Kyle Lohse to a three year deal worth $33 million dollars. (Snarky headline: Kyle Lohse Makes Sense, In An Alternate Reality.) The complaints are many, -- too many years (just like every free agent contract ever,) too much money (just like every free agent contract ever (and also, not really,)) he's 34 and that is way too old (true,) he's a spy for the Cardinals sent to destroy our organization's playoff chances (a very real possibility,) I don't know how to spell and/or pronounce his name -- but perhaps the biggest complaint of all is the loss of a FIRST ROUND draft pick which will now go to the CARDINALS instead. "Are you serious bro?" is what you might say if you were the only person left who thinks Zack Ryder is cool.

Then, the Brewers filled the 25th man spot on the roster by acquiring Yuniesky Betancourt. (Snarky headline: Brewers re-sign Yuniesky Betancourt as part of effort to find least popular possible transaction.) The Brewers internet briefly exploded yesterday as fans reacted in outrage of the signing. I took part in the vitriol on twitter. I, like many other Brewers fans, don't like Yuniesky Betancourt as a baseball player so why are the Brewers going to pay him to play baseball? Continue reading →


17
Oct 12

Brewers to Josh Hamilton? MAYBE STUFF

The rumor mill is running wild that the Brewers are about to sign superstar free agent Josh Hamilton*.

*= If they don't sign a starting pitcher and he doesn't re-sign with the Rangers and nobody offers a better offer and he won't sign for a lot of years and the Brewers don't have anything better they can do.

The move would be the Brewers biggest free agent splash since they signed Jeff Suppan in 2007. Suppan, who led the Brewers to the 2008 through 2010 World Series, made $85 million dollars in Milwaukee and has since retired. He currently owns the San Diego Chargers.

The move makes sense for both sides. The Brewers offense needs some serious help after only scoring 776 runs in 2012. A huge letdown from Doug Melvin's 2012 goal of one million. Meanwhile, Josh Hamilton is fresh off choking away his team's playoff chances and desperately needs a change of scenery to avoid being killed by the three or four Rangers fans who weren't just killing time until the Cowboys season started. Sources say that despite both being named Ron, that Ron Roenicke is a way better role model for Hamilton than Ron Washington.

There is some concern that Josh Hamilton's 0 for 4 performance in the AL Wild Card game is a sign that Josh Hamilton is a terrible baseball player, but most scouts think there is only a 50/50 chance of this being true and expect him to get "at least" twice as may hits as that on average. Still, signing John Hamilton will be considered a risk.

Another concern is his age as next season he will turn 35 which will rank him second behind Jamie Moyer as the oldest baseball player of all time. One scout said that this is the "least of his worries" because of alcohol. Continue reading →


08
Jul 10

Goodbye Corey Hart

I don't give a crap what happens in today's Milwaukee Brewers game. I really, really don't. After last night's 15-1 loss that saw me:

  1. Drink warm beer on the drive up.
  2. Sweat more than I ever have in my entire life during the first two innings. Seriously, with the roof and panels closed Miller Park turns into the world's largest sauna.
  3. Get flaked out on by a date (shut up, female commenters).
  4. Not even enjoy a Rickie Weeks homerun.
  5. Leave early. (!)

It wasn't the best day for me and after all of that, I don't really feel like watching or caring today. The playoff chances that me and like two other people were holding onto are now gone. The Milwaukee Brewers will not make the playoffs. The Milwaukee Brewers will be lucky to finish around .500. This isn't that bad of a thing. [I don't actually believe this one bit. It is the frickin' worst thing. - Editor] I guess we should have seen this coming after Trevor Hoffman blew all those saves and we had that one losing streak, right? We dug a big, early hole that was going to be near impossible to dig our way out of. We weren't able to do the impossible and now we will not make the playoffs. It happens, we'll try again next year (which I am totally pumped for by the way). This season is over.

This doesn't mean that I am going to quit this site or even write less. Hell, I'll probably write more now that this weight of contention is off of my shoulders. This worrying about the outcomes of every single game. I can just enjoy the games and the Miller Park experience. I can go into a few games during the third inning and not feel like I am missing anything. As a matter of fact, I think I will do that for all future Chris Narveson starts. I really wanted this season to work out, but it didn't. I can deal with this.

Now I'll be right back to talk about Corey Hart. I just need a minute to process. I'm just going to watch this music video a few times and reflect on my entire life.

It pours. Man, it pours.

/wipes eyes

Okay, aaannnnndddd I'm good. I'm back. I never wanted them to do good this season anyways. [Again, a total lie. I wanted them to do good so bad. -Editor]

At some point during yesterday's loss I realized that this may be one of the last times I see Corey Hart in person as a member of the Milwaukee Brewers. I've gotten a lot of mileage out of Corey Hart jokes on this site and I've complained about him quite a bit in the past too. What can I say? It was the cool thing to do. Still, I am really going to miss the guy and not just for the jokes. [This is sort of a lie. I will really miss the jokes. -Editor] The truth is that I've always liked Corey Hart, but he's just always seemed to let me down. I wanted him to be good, like he is now, for so long that he just ended up letting me down so many times that I lashed out. Its like when my son tells me he doesn't want to watch Wall-E. I mean, Why wouldn't you want to watch Wall-E? It's a tale of true robot love and a little robot could that shows more emotion than your stupid Veggietales could ever dream of and you don't want to watch it? What the hell is wrong with you, little kid? Its stupid and irrational for me to get this upset about it, but that's how I've always thought. Why can't you be better, Corey? And then, of course, it happened and I was too stupid to realize it. Continue reading →

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