01
Aug 12

AJ Lee: A GIF Appreciation

My love of pro wrestling is no secret. I went to Wrestlemania last year and I am going again this year. I'm going to Chikara in two weeks. I'm wearing a Colt Cabana t-shirt right now. I've made two awkward appearance on TH's The Wrestling Podcast. It's just my thing. I always have and always will love this stupid deal where people pretend to fight and put oil all over their bodies. I just love it.

Because of this I often find myself falling in love with the girls on the screen. She likes wrestling and she is attractive? Sign me up! Last summer my dad and I went to Chikara in Chicago and after watching Sara Del Rey kick the living shit out of Icarus I could tell he had a bit of a crush going on. Which was weird because I didn't want to have to fight my own dad to the death over her. When I was in high school and starting to figure out that boobs were the best thing in the world, WWE gave me Sable who had enormous fake ones that she had no problem showing me. It was love at first breast. Then they followed her with Trish Stratus who made me fall in love all over again and still does a little bit. Then Stacy Keibler who is hot enough for George Clooney so like really hot. Then Melina whose entrance made me somewhat uncomfortable (in a good way.) Then Maryse who was hot until I found out she was banging The Miz. (Seriously, I'd rather be with someone that had face herpes than someone The Miz touched.) All these girls with many in between have made me continually have crushes/infatuations with the women involved in professional wrestling.

Here's the thing though. They are all pretty girls, but at the same time they are "wrestling pretty." Much like a stripper seems pretty because she is taking her clothes off a lot of these girls seem prettier just because they are on a wrestling show. You guys remember that period where WWE convinced us that Chyna was really hot and she did two Playboys? Yeah, WWE (and plastic surgery) convinced us that THIS was really hot. I used to think Francine was gorgeous and she's really not (see if you can guess why I thought that.) That's what I'm talking about. This isn't a knock on the women at all. They are pretty girls who could probably kick my ass, but if you stand 98% of them next to Alison Brie or Anne Hathaway they look homely. A pretty girl in something you like looks 1000% prettier than if she was in something you didn't like. Look at Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica. Pretty? Yes. omg da prettiest girl ever? No, but don't tell that to some Battlestar fanboys. It's just the way it is. Why do you think I hook up with so many ugly girls in Rickie Weeks jerseys? Our mind plays tricks on us sometimes.

AJ changed all of that because AJ is not only the prettiest girl to ever grace a wrestling ring. Continue reading →


14
Oct 09

Zack Hample, Conan O’Brien and why ballhawking is still a bad choice

I like to think that I am the world's foremost expert on d-bags who wear gloves to a baseball game. When I am asked to go on CNN to comment on the Happy Youngster's inevitable serial killing spree, I want it to to look like this.

cnnpic

I can talk and write about this topic forever. They never stop being fun to make fun of. I know the ins and outs of the game and in some ways I'm the Bill James of the hating-ballhawks community. So you should know that NOTHING on this planet gave me more pleasure than seeing Conan O'Brien give him the business on the Tonight Show. In case you missed it: Continue reading →


11
Sep 09

I got nothing: random notes from MPDHQ

princegirlYou'd think after going to two games this week I'd have something on my mind, but you'd be wrong. I got nothing. Well, nothing long form at least. I do have these few tidbits.

- I SHOULD be doing a podcast on Monday night which will be posted here Tuesday day. This is not exactly by popular demand, but I think that this is going to be good and should keep you entertained throughout the offseason. If you think we don't talk enough about baseball now, you ain't seen nothing yet.

- Speaking of things that SHOULD be happening. I'm supposed to have a story going up on Decider again. The last time I wrote for them I told you "How NOT to be a Brewers fan", this time it's a bit more.... I'll say controversial.

- Is that considered selling out? Writing for "the man"? What if I told you that someone offered me a lot of money to buy the website? How would you feel about that? I'll have more on this next week.

- Stop the presses. Anthony Witrado actually wrote a decent column about the 2010 team. I don't believe it either.

- Speaking of the 2010 team I might touch on this later in the offseason, but just allow me to say that if the team gives up on Rickie Weeks I find it more offensive than the JJ Hardy thing. Weeks worked harder than anyone in the offseason to improve, showed tremendous improvement and then got hurt. There would be no Lopez without that injury and there'd be no need for Lopez without that injury. I am sick of hearing about getting rid of him and keeping Lopez in everyone's rosterbation fantasies.

- Michael Hunt is hit or miss with me, but he gets some great quotes from Doug Melvin in this article. As I've pointed out before 5 of the top 6 Brewers pitchers are having the worst seasons of their career without that, they're in it. I think they're fine in 2010.

- Next week should be good. I'm going down to "Miller Park South" and should have a nice little field trip report.

Alright, that's all I got. Only a few weeks to go here and then it's onto next season. Went by pretty fast didn't it? The team wasn't as good as we'd have all liked them to be, but I have no regrets. I had some of the best times of my life following the team this season and that's really what it's all about.

Have a good weekend everybody, have fun watching your football or whatever it is you kids do for fun.

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