30
Nov 11

Prince Fielder: Who Needs Him?

The Brewers offseason began a couple of months ago, but in all likelihood it won't really begin until Prince Fielder signs with another team. The players don't believe he will be back, Prince doesn't think he'll be back, the management doesn't really believe he'll be back and deep down you and I know that he won't be back, but still we wait. We wait because there is a chance, no matter how small, that Prince will be back and everything will return to normality. I mean, if nobody offers him a contract he'd have to accept the Brewers offer! That could happen, right? It won't, but it could and until it doesn't happen we will wait.

But why? Why should we wait? Sure, he's been apart of our team for years and he's given us some really great memories, but do we really need him? Do we even want him? Should we even care that Prince Fielder is leaving?

No.

Don't get me wrong, I love Prince Fielder. I would like for Prince Fielder to be a Milwaukee Brewer forever, retire and open a car dealership in Milwaukee where I can overpay for a Ford Fusion with a big number twenty eight on the back. That's what I'd love to happen, but unfortunately we don't live in that world. We live in a world where every dollar spent needs to be held accountable and bring back a certain amount of production. That $/talent/production equation just doesn't work for Prince Fielder because Prince Fielder is not our future and if we're being honest he wasn't our past either.

Because Ryan Braun is all of that. Continue reading →


16
Nov 11

Miller Park Drunk’s Offseason Predictions

One month.

That's how long it's been since the Brewers were eliminated from the NLCS and robbed of their chance of the World Series by Shaun Marcum the Cardinals. A lot has happened since then. The not-Brewers won the World Series. The Packers didn't lose a game. The Badgers lost a couple they shouldn't have, effectively ending their season. The NBA died. Mark Kotsay signed with another team making the Brewers one rapist looking guy short. Eddie Kingston won the Grand Championship and Colt CaBunny was liberated. The Walking Dead's second season began and producers forgot it was a show about zombies. Kim Kardashian got divorced. Zooey Deschanel became single. Justin Bieber came out with a Christmas album. A guy smoked (a cigarette!) in a political ad. It's been a wild ride.

As for me, it's been a pretty wild ride. Faced with breaking up with my girlfriend and never talking to her again followed by my true love breaking my heart by losing in the playoffs to the Cardinals, I guess you could say I had a little mental break. I went on a journey, not like some lame On The Road inspired journey, but a journey of the mind. A spiritual journey, because that is not at all lame, that took me to the very depths of my soul and made me rethink each and every thing I thought I believed in. I now realize many things about myself and life that I didn't realize before. I know now that the world belongs to Ryan Braun and there is nothing we can do about it. I realize that we are all just puppets in a mass system designed to get us to spend money on a baseball team that will never love us back, but this realization will never stop me from continuing to do it. I've come to figure out that life isn't fair and that God, as we picture him, probably doesn't exist because the Cardinals not only beat us, but won the f*ckin' World Series.

/breathes into paper bag

The point is I return from this journey not with any sort of resolved issues, but with a clear vision of the future. I've gained an understanding of Doug Melvin and the Brewers that has never been witnessed before on this spiritual plane and come to you today with revelations of what our future holds in 2012. Our future, as philosophers say, is so bright that you might want to put on sunglasses. Continue reading →


20
Oct 11

The Brewers lost: How They’re Handling It

Are you over the Brewers elimination yet? I know I'm not. Last night was the first game 1 of the World Series I didn't watch in my entire life. Seriously, I used to turn off Sesame Street to watch that sh-t. I didn't even gamble on it! I just want to pretend it doesn't even exist. It's a weird feeling being this depressed for this long, but I'll be over it eventually. It's like breaking up with someone really. Only if when you broke up with them you knew you were going to get back together in a year, you could check in on them whenever you wanted, they were going to make changes to make themselves better and that neither of you were going to see anyone else for the whole time you were apart. So, you know, the complete opposite of what every girl who has ever broken up with me does.

Still, it's good to know I am not alone in this. Plenty of other Brewers fans have been feeling this same sense of loss and pain. It's good to be together through this, isn't it? Glad you're here. Couldn't do this without you. What's even better to know is that the Brewers themselves are going through some of the same depression that we are and thanks to my standing as the Milwaukee area, baseball specific TMZ I have the pictures to prove it. As you'll see the funny thing about depression is that no two people handle it the same way and the Brewers are no different. Continue reading →


02
Oct 11

Ten

I really can't imagine yesterday going any better for the Brewers than it did. Every starter except Hart and Morgan got on base, Yo looked amazing, Braun and Fielder showed why they are the best duo in all of baseball and from the first inning on everything seemed to go the Brewers way. From the moment Braun threw out Willie Bloomquist you just knew there was no way the Brewers were going to lose this game.

And then there was Prince's homerun. The Brewers didn't need Prince's two run homerun to win this game, but when we think back on this one that will be the image that sticks out in our minds simply because it wasn't supposed to happen this way. Nobody expected them to let Kennedy pitch to Fielder. We were supposed to get the reliever or they were supposed to walk him and then it'd be over with. Instead we got what happened, we got a moment. An image of Prince Fielder celebrating with his teammates that will be replayed over and over in Brewers highlights forever. Amazing.

Also, we got this:

It was an awesome day and yet it is only the beginning. There are going to be a lot more days like yesterday on this run. Ten more like it hopefully.

(I am playing this after every Brewers win from now on. Deal with it.)


29
Sep 11

Milwaukee Brewers Playoff Beards: A Preview

THE PLAYOFFS ARE HERE! And you know what that means... PLAYOFF BEARDS!

I shaved for the last time yesterday and I am not shaving until the Brewers win the World Series! YEAH! PLAYOFFS!!!!!!!

Some of my other blogging pals have already started on theirs. Tyler Maas has been working on his for awhile, Jack Moore of Disciples of Uecker started his when he hit puberty (last summer) and plenty of my bros on twitter are going to be doing the same. Playoff beards are in this year. It's the cool thing to do if you want to appear really dedicated to your favorite team, look stupid and not be attractive to women all at the same time.

The Brewers are most likely to join in because that's the sort of thing that professional athletes do. Some Brewers, like Prince, already have beards, but others don't. Sometimes it's really hard to picture someone with a beard if they have never had one before. Facial hair is just one of those things that is hard to predict, but I don't like that. I hate the feeling of not knowing. So I did what any blogger in my situation would do. I hired those people who tell you what your baby is going to look like before it is born and I gave them a bunch of money to tell me what a few of my favorite Brewers would look like with facial hair. Seemed perfectly reasonable at the time.

The suprising results are after the jump. Continue reading →

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