14
Sep 11

Prince Fielder and Nyjer Morgan are mean meanies

In a desperate attempt to stay relevant Sports Illustrated polled 215 MLB players asking them who the "meanest player in baseball" was. I'm unsure of what Sports Illustrated used to define mean, but based on the top 10 it's probably just a poll of "who do you think is an asshole?" Here is that top 10:

  1. AJ Pierzynski (natch)
  2. Chase Utley (Really? But he's so cute)
  3. Milton Bradley
  4. Carlos Zambrano (Seriously, how big of an upset is Big Z and Bradley going behind Utley? That dude must eat babies.)
  5. Vicente Padilla (Who?)
  6. Alex Rodriguez (received 24 votes, all from the Yankees)
  7. Chris Carpenter
  8. Albert Pujols (Two Cardinals? I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you.)
  9. Nyjer Morgan
  10. Kevin Youkilis (Once again, the Yankees outdo the Red Sox.)

And #13.... Prince Fielder.

Two Brewers in the top 15. Does this mean that we have arrived? I mean, there are also two Yankees, two Red Sox and two Cardinals in the top 15 as well and the only true test of success is how many people hate you. You never hear anyone saying "I hate the Astros" because nobody gives a crap about the Astros. They're just there and then they trade some players to the Phillies and then they're still just there. That's their role. We can't hate them because they don't do anything for us. The Brewers existed in a similar bubble throughout the 90's and maybe, just maybe they have finally broken out of that bubble and other teams are starting to hate us because of how good we are.

Or maybe Prince and Nyjer are just a couple of assholes. Continue reading →


30
Aug 11

Ryan Braun, Prince Fielder and the 2011 MVP

I'd like to make an argument that all Brewers fans are either "Ryan Brauns" or "Prince Fielders" to highlight the debate over the 2011 MVP.

The Prince Fielders of Brewer nation are the kind of guys who don't care about a pitcher's FIP or a player's WAR. They care about two things: hits and homeruns. The Ryan Brauns love the statistical stuff. Prince may have more homeruns and more RBIs, but Ryan Braun is the better player. His OPS is 44 points higher and the Ryan Brauns know it. The Ryan Brauns can even tell the Prince Fielders about it, but they won't care. "Scoreboard," they'll say and point to Prince's 29 HRs and 102 RBIs going into tonight. The Fielders will point to Nyjer Morgan's energy as a reason for the team's success. The Brauns will point at the pitching and say "duh."

The Ryan Brauns are the kind of people who love to go to the game and get the best seat available. Leaving the tailgate early to ensure they are in their seat for the first pitch. The Prince Fielders think the party doesn't stop because the game is starting. The Ryan Brauns drink, we all drink, but they don't drink Miller Lite by the gallon. They settle in with a mixed drink or a local brew. Do I even need to say what the Prince Fielders drink? (HINT: It's not water.) The Prince Fielders are the guys eating for the cycle. The Ryan Brauns eat a brat on their "cheat day."

I could go on and on and like I said I would like to make this argument, but I can't do it. Their looks, their playing styles, their strengths and weaknesses, even the numbers on their back can all be used to highlight differences between us as people and as Brewers fans, but they do not tell the story of the 2011 MVP debate. Continue reading →


13
Jul 11

The Best and Worst of the Milwaukee Brewers first half

We've reached the halfway point of the season (not really, but MLB likes to pretend that the All-Star Game is the midway point of the season so we're going to go with it) and the good news is the Milwaukee Brewers are currently tied for first place. The bad news is everything else. After years of hoping for success the Brewers are finally experiencing some and we've found there are a lot more problems at the top. It's just like the plot of every movie ever.

It's been a very strange first half of the season. There are so many things to be happy about (Prince, Braun, Weeks) and so many things to make you angry (Greinke, Yuni, McGehee, Greinke again, Yuni again, Greinke) that you end up looking at the day's boxscore and the result tells you how you feel about them. Outside of being busy (and lazy) (and drunk), the unpredictable nature of this season has limited my writing the most. I didn't know what to write.

There has been ups and downs, but the Brewers are in a good spot. They're in first place. (Hey, have I mentioned they're in first place!?) Let's take a look at how things stands at the end of the first half. You know, cover all the bases (see what I did there?) and just for fun we're going to do it "Best and Worst" style (without permission) like Brandon Stroud does at With Leather every Tuesday for WWE Raw. Continue reading →


11
May 11

EXCLUSIVE: Pathetic loser’s demands for Fielder’s 200th homerun ball

In exciting Brewers news Prince Fielder hit his 200th career homerun today in a terrible loss against the Padres. The milestone homerun should be the first of many for Prince Fielder this season. He will tie Cecil Cooper for 4th on the Brewers all time list and should make it all the way to number two by the time the season ends.

As if the loss wasn't bad enough, the historic homerun lost some more of it's luster when it was caught by Milwaukee's resident ballhawk, The Happy Youngster (real name Nick Yohanek). The child impersonator is well known among the ballhawk community and gained national scorn when he produced a list of demands for then Florida Marlins' rookie Chris Coghlan on his first career homerun ball. The Marlins' star eventually got his ball, but admitted that Yohanek was a real douchebag about it.

"He wasn't the most polite or respectful guy about the whole process," Coghlan said Thursday. "He told me he goes around a lot and catches these balls and holds them for ransom — even though he doesn't say that he does, it seems that way."

While Yohanek identifies himself as a Brewer fan (despite most Brewer fans wishing he wouldn't) he is not above holding a Milwaukee Brewer for a similar ransom. It is just what he does and Prince Fielder is no exception. The Youngster has submitted his list of demands to the Brewers and thanks to some well placed connections within the Milwaukee Brewers organization we have obtained a copy of those demands. You won't find this anywhere else. This is a 100% Miller Park Drunk exclusive. Find the shocking list of demands after the jump. Continue reading →


31
Mar 11

Cincinnati Reds season preview

The season is just around the corner and the Milwaukee Brewers are currently one of the favorites in the NL Central, but that doesn't mean it's a sure thing. There are still five other teams that want the title who will be fighting for it all season. Do they have a shot? That's what we're going to find out as we work with fans from other teams to figure out how everything is going to play out and exactly what it is we're dealing with. That's right it's the 2011 NL Central Previews!

Today's Guest: A very angry Brewers fan

(What? Do YOU know any Reds fans? Didn't think so.)

Do you know what I did today? I took off work. That jerk Bob from my department already requested off for Monday and the office couldn't do without the both of us so I am stuck working on Opening Day. I know for a fact that guy thinks Prince Fielder's name is Cecil, but what are you going do? Sometimes you hit the bar and sometimes the bar hits you. So anyways, I can't go to the home opener next week so instead I decided to take off to watch a game on TV. My wife doesn't like it because she wants to watch her soaps and the Price is Right and 17 reruns of Jersey Shore on VH1 so I end up down in the basement watching the show on a 16" screen. It's the TV we got when my wife's mom died, but it'll do. I have a few beers (that I have to open underneath a blanket so my wife doesn't hear the tops popping) and it's baseball. I'm all set up for a great day.

The game starts and it's a celebration. Homeruns are hit, Yovanni looks good and the Brewers look like it's 1982 all over again. I'm finishing beers and hiding them underneath the stairs (note to self: empty those out), everything is going great and then the 9th inning starts. Continue reading →

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