09
Nov 09

Carlos Gomez: Miller Park Drunk vs Al’s Ramblings

Twins Go Go Gomez BaseballI've been reading Al's Ramblings over the weekend and I was shocked at how Al was slowly convincing himself that he really liked this trade. I mean, this is the same guy who thought Corey Hart would be a good center field option and now he's down with a .287 on base percentage? This didn't seem right to me so I shot him an email and decided to engage in a little conversation with him (like we did before). Here's what we came up with. Beware nerdy baseball talk ahead.

MPD: Alright Al I have a bone to pick with you about this Hardy/Gomez trade. Sure, it's a cheap alternative who is great at defense (just like the cheap alternative that is great at defense we have at shortstop), but you of all people should hate this trade. After all you are the one who is constantly talking up the excellence of OXS in predicting runs and you are the one who takes joy in the failures of Jack Wilson. Now, you're okay with a lineup where 1/3 of the players in it have a combined OPS of 650-700 (and that's without including the pitcher.) Seriously, look at this group as it stands now: Continue reading →


24
Jul 09

Deleted Scenes

To steal a page from Deadspin here are some deleted scenes, stuff not good enough to get their own post.

  • One of the first "big" posts we ever had was this tribute to Bob Uecker. We were linked on Deadspin and a lot of people found us for the first time thanks to that post. Originally there was a line in there that said "Bob has a stalker. Somehow I don’t see anyone stalking Ken Harrelson.", but this was later changed. Why? This email:

    To: The Editor of Millerparkdrunk.com

    Your website posting here:

    http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/baseball/ten-reasons-bob-uecker-is-better-than-whoever-your-announcer-is/

    Created on February 12, 2009 is posting an expunged record associated with my name as part of a listing. I am asking out of professional courtesy that you please remove it from the article. The allegations that you reference in item ten were false, anyway, and the posting you make can be edited to use something else in item 10. Continue reading →


21
Jul 09

Who is Dave Kerwin? Miller Park Drunk investigates

kendallCurious story out of Pittsburgh yesterday. When Jason Kendall was interviewed post game he called Pirates pitching coach Joe Kerrigan by a different name.

"It was fine until Dave Kerwin," Kendall said, referring to Kerrigan. Kendall continued to call Kerrigan by that incorrect name -- seemingly on purpose -- even after being promptly corrected.

"I can take a lot, but I'm not going to get yelled at," he continued. "Dave Kerwin started yelling at me...."

When asked what he thought made Kerrigan so mad, Kendall responded: "I don't know. Dave Kerwin? I have no idea."

Now, it's clear to me that he is talking about Joe Kerrigan but in an attempt to undermine him is calling him by a different name. People do this all the time. Sometimes when I am mad at my friend Emily I call her "Smemily". If I am upset with my friend Jeff I call him "Jeffrey". Whenever my ex makes me mad I call her something that rhymes with "pilthy chucking door". This makes sense. What doesn't make sense is the name Jason Kendall chose. Continue reading →


10
Jun 09

Ryan Braun turns down the Bachelor

So did you hear that Ryan Braun was offered a spot on ABC's The Bachelor? It's true.

We weren't at the meeting, but we know a few Hollywood Insiders who know things. Things like "Fox has no idea what they're doing" and "NBC used to be a lot better", even things like "what happened when Ryan Braun met with ABC executives". Continue reading →


29
May 09

The Remetee is the experience

Say, have I ever told you how stupid I think Ryan Braun's shirt line is? I haven't? Oh man, I hate them. I think they are stupid. I would never wear one of those things! Why, only an idiot would want to wear one of those right? Right? Ummmm.... right?

Apparently not. Apparently these shirts are HIP. Remetee is probably the biggest thing to hit the scene since Kris Kross decided to wear their pants backwards (because inside out was wiggity wiggity wack). Celebrities and athletes of all shapes and sizes wear them. Everyone from American Idol runner up Adam Lambert to Jerry Rice wear them. WWE "wrestler" Gene Snitsky (who once killed a baby I believe) wears Remetee. Even musicians and producers like Sleepy Brown and System of a Down bassit Shavo wear them. These celebrities wear these shirts with pride and make them look good doing it. Remetee has arrived and celebrities love them. That being said, not every celebrity can make them look good. Some people maybe you shouldn't be photographing in these shirts if you want them to sell.

Like Carrie Prejean, the controversial Miss California, who gives the Remetee shirt the look of "hating gays".

Carrie Prejean

Do you want me to take this off now?

Or tennis pro Marat Safin who gives the shirt the "volleyball scene from Top Gun" look.

marat-safin

After the picture you'll introduce me to A-Rod?

Tom Green gives Remetee the "I dated Drew Barrymore once. No, really I did. I used to be somebody." look.

tom-green

My bum is on the shirt, bum is on the shirt. Get it? Because I had that one song?

None of these models are quite as offensive or say to the potential shirt buyer "STAY AWAY" as much as Yovanni Gallardo does.

yovanni gallardo

Am I doing it right, Ryan? Do I look cool?

No, Yovanni. A million times no.

If you are interested in buying a Remetee shirt all you have to do is go to another site because Miller Park Drunk does not support anyone wearing these.

(Thanks to Rachel for the tip.)