30
Mar 10

Gallardo named Opening Day starter

In a move that was surprising to Randy Wolf's mom, Patricia Gallardo's ex-boyfriend Joel and like, five other people Yovani Gallardo was named the Brewers Opening Day starter for 2010. It's quite a contrast to last season when manager Ken Macha decided that winning on Opening Day wasn't really a priority to him and started Jeff Suppan. (Yes, the same Jeff Suppan who the Brewers are currently considering paying a whole lot of money to not play for them.)

Macha actually said that he "thinks he's ready for it." Really? Do you think the sky is blue? Do you think sex leads to babies too, Ken? Seriously, this is something that should have been announced in May of 2009. Gallardo is the Brewers best pitcher, by far, and whatever "pressure" is put upon him by being the Brewers number one starter is as made up as my girlfriend who lives in Niagra Falls. You can't be sure if it was Gallardo's 2009 season where he became only the fourth pitcher in Brewers history to have 200 strikeouts in a season (despite skipping his last few starts), his spring training showing, the quality of the other options or something else that changed his mind, but he did. Whatever it was we should all take solace in the fact that Macha made the right choice this year.


24
Feb 10

Better Know Your Brewers: The Newcomers

It's about that time of the year when most people are like "oh hey baseball exists wassup wit dat stuff?" and are beginning to become interested in it. (At least until the NFL Draft.) You may be peppered with tons of questions like "Is Ryan Brawn still good?", "Did they fire Yost yet?" and "CAN I GO TO OPENING DAY WITHOUT A TICKET? I JUST WANT TO DRINK IN THE LOT!" Things have changed and you might not even have noticed. That's why we're here to tell you all about it.

NEWCOMER: Randy Wolf
RELEVANT MPD POST: Casual Brewer Randy Wolf
WHY YOU NEED TO KNOW HIM: He's going to be here awhile, like the next three years. Plus, he's supposed to be the savior of our pitching rotation. No big deal.
MADE UP FACT YOU NEED TO KNOW: Randy is a regular user of craigslist's "missed connection" feature.
INTERESTING FACT(S) THAT IS TRUE: His brother, Jim Wolf, is an MLB Umpire. He bought his Hollywood Hills home from Slash. No word on how many needles were found during the move.
WORTH BUYING HIS JERSEY? You wouldn't be wrong to, but you wouldn't be right to either.
THING TO YELL IF HE SUCKS: "Hey Randy, you suck!"
RECOMMENDED AT-BAT MUSIC: Duran Duran's "Hungry Like The Wolf" seems like an obvious choice, but I'd like for him to go with The Mama's and the Papa's "California Dreamin'". 1.) because it's obvious he'd rather be playing in California and 2.) because anytime I get the chance to make John and Mackenzie Phillips jokes, I'll take it. Continue reading →


21
Jan 10

The Big Tuna will save us all

A few people out there aren't really happy with the Brewers pitching choices this offseason. The idea is that the Brewers haven't signed anyone that could be considered anything better than a #3 starter. While this has some truth to it, it's kind of a silly argument. What if the team broke the bank and got a "proven ace"? There would be no money left to get a second starter, which the team needed, and the team would be guaranteed to come out of the spring with Suppan starting (and if someone got injured Mike Burns or Chris Narveson). That's not a good plan. We don't want Mike Burns ever starting for us again unless we are playing softball at Helfaer Field. Furthermore, let's say that last season someone offered you this trade:

Mike Cameron, JJ Hardy, Jason Kendall and Seth McClung for:

Carlos Gomez, Gregg Zaun, Latroy Hawkins, Randy Wolf and Doug Davis

I mean, even a Mike Cameron fan like myself, a 13 year old saving herself for JJ or the most diehard Slipknot fan would think that's a good trade right? I'd hope so because that is a good trade and it's exactly what Doug Melvin has pulled off. The team will go into spring training with basically the same payroll as last year with upgrades at between four and five positions (C, SP, SP, SS and RP(?)) with a drop off at only one (CF). That's a really good offseason. I honestly don't know how anyone could say that outside of the Mariners anyone had a better offseason than that and it's all because of the Big Tuna Doug Davis. Who knew?


12
Jan 10

Casual Brewer: Randy Wolf

I like pictures of the Brewers outside of their uniforms. Casual Brewers if you will. Feel free to create a caption.

randywolf3

Somehow I think Randy's girlfriend is going to fit in just fine.


11
Jan 10

Randy Wolf, meet the press

dougmelvinwolfintro

Doug Melvin: It gives me great pleasure to introduce the man who I believe will single handedly turn around the Brewers next season, the man who will save our pitching staff and lead us back to the promised land of the playoffs, the man who will surely make up for the loss of the players we have let go and take us to our rightful place atop the National League, ladies and gentlemen Mr. Randy Wolf!

randywolfintro

Randy Wolf: Thank you very much Doug. I just wanted to start by saying that although Milwaukee wasn't my first choice, they did offer me the most money and I am honored to be here. I think that we have a great chance to finish at least second next year and that should be awesome. Now, if you'd like to ask some questions I'd be glad to answer them. Continue reading →

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