The Chicago Cubs lost to the Milwaukee Brewers 18-1 last night. Tying a record for hits given up in a game and basically being embarrassed on their home field in front of their home fans. I almost felt sorry for them.
Instead, I decided to collect a bunch of tweets people posted after the game whining about their team. That seems much more like me, laughing at others displeasure.
In case you haven't heard the best team in baseball have signed Mike Cameron in a wicked pissa deal to be their newest future Hall of Famah, that totally locks up the 2010 championship. Ya frickin' douchebag of a editah was too busy cryin' in his beer cheese soup to update today so he ask me ta do it. And lemme tell ya, I haven't been this excited since the Sawks won the Series. Mike Cameron is a killa ballplayah and the smahtest fans in baseball will appreciate him way moah than you Milwaukee loozahs.
This move couldn't have come at a bettah time to furtha establish Boston's dominance over all tha othah cities. The Pats are cruising their way to anothah playoffs, just playing coy until the time is right to take down Peyton Manning and the Colts. The Celtics have won eleven in a row and probably won't lose evah again. Da Broons are dominatin' the NHL like the glory days of Bobby Orr. The Sawks adding Cameron is the perfect toppah to what looks to be another championship year for the greatest city in America, Baston Mass! Continue reading »
Well, it's been fun hasn't it? Milwaukee, I like to think, was pretty good to you. You were the only player on the team to get his own specialized chant (Bill clap, clap, clapclap, HALL, Bill...) which is a feat that may never be duplicated since the majority of fans only seem capable of doing the "Let's Go Brewers" chant. (Seriously, we can't do any better than that? Are we that devoid of creativity? Any chance "Less filling!", "Tastes great!" can come back?) You had that one amazing season which was a total fluke, but you got paid for it anyways. As time went on you got progressively worse and despite maintaining your excellent defensive skill you slipped to the point that your contract was the only thing keeping you on the team. It was sad to see as you were one of my favorites, but if you're not hitting it doesn't matter how much people like you. That's just the way it is. I always knew you had the goods, but something just didn't work. Were you trying to hit 35 homeruns on every swing? Because that's not you. You are more like a 20 guy. I am convinced that season was the worst thing that ever happened to you. Continue reading »
While I am still not 100% committed to throwing in the towel on the 2009 Brewers season the fact remains that in order for the Brewers to make the playoffs this season will require a minor miracle. Not quite a water into wine type miracle, but something along the lines of the Brewers bullpen holding a lead, Jason Kendall getting an extra base hit or an awful writer not losing his job when the newspaper industry is going broke. The mere existence of Anthony Witrado gives our season hope.
Whatever happens this season know that this isn't the first time the Brewers have let fans down after a successful season. In 1982 they made the World Series and on August 25th 1983 they were in first place, but by the end of the season they were 11 games back and in a pre-Wild Card world out of the playoffs (not that they would have made it anyways). So if you are feeling let down by the Brewers now, just imagine what it was like in 1983. You know, besides totally awesome.
Or we could just do the imagining for you. That's right, it's Miller Park Drunk: 1983 Edition.