05
Apr 12

Miller Park Drunk’s Milwaukee Brewers Season Preview Hashtag Opening Day

Opening Day is here.

I guess this means it's time for me to stop being a baby and get over the way last season ended. This would be easy if it wasn't for the ___ ____Cardinals winning the ___ ____ World _______ Series and then (and then!) watching them open the season by winning without one of the greatest hitters (and __holes of all time) or their ___hole manager. The Cardinals are in first place right now and that is honestly the last thing I want to hear right now. I'd even rank it ahead of "I'm pregnant" and "Your herpes seemed to have evolved into some sort of super herpes." The Cardinals winning last night was a bigger downer than Daniel Bryan losing in 18 seconds, but....

It's a new season. A new day. Yesterday doesn't matter. Last season is nothing, but a page in the history books because the only thing that matters now is now because we can't change the past. Marty and Doc can't go back in time and make Shaun Marcum go on the DL before game 6. The only thing we can do in this life is move on from our past mistakes and do the very best we can in our present and future. That's why I stopped drinking vodka-Red Bulls. Yesterday is gone, the future is now and guess what? The Brewers are going to be pretty freakin' awesome this year. Our future is looking bright. So bright I gotta wear shades. Continue reading →


08
Apr 11

Chicago Cubs season preview

The season is just around the corner here and the Milwaukee Brewers are currently one of the favorites in the NL Central, but that doesn't mean it's a sure thing. There are still five other teams that want the title who will be fighting for it all season. Do they have a shot? That's what we're going to find out as we work with fans from other teams to figure out how everything is going to play out and exactly what it is we're dealing with. That's right it's the 2011 NL Central Previews!

Today's Guest: Chad Trixie aka Wrigley Field Drunk

SUP BROS and BRO-ETTES?

It's been awhile, but I couldn't let a Chicago Cubs season preview be written at this god forsaken site without me being a part of it. I know the way that d-bag editor of this site likes to do things, but not on my watch pal!

Before we get to the Chicago Cubs I'd like to talk about myself for a moment. You see, a lot has changed since you last heard from me. For one, I got married. A beautiful girl from Deerfield named Trixie. Yeah, I know, Trixie Trixie crazy right? We met at a bar (where else?) and had this one really awesome night. We did like six or seven Jager bombs and then I drove her home to my place where we got freaky. I lasted like ten minutes, it was awesome. Then I didn't see her for three months and she ends up calling me out of the blue talking about how she wants to get back together and how I was the best lover she ever had and how she wants her kids to look like me and how, oh by the way, she's pregnant. So I was like "oh I like you too" and "are you sure it's mine?" And she's like "of course, you're the only one I've been with" and I was all like "pssh yeah right", but eventually it all worked out and we got married. It was a pretty sweet wedding. Not as good as the bachelor party which was frickin' bonkers, bro. (Four words: triple lapdance in Vegas. INSANE.) The honeymoon was all right, but would have been a lot better if she wasn't all fat and shit. I mean I know it's like my baby in there, but do some situps or something. Jeez.

Yeah so anyways, married with one on the way. Crazy right?

I haven't really had that much time for the Cubs with all this stuff going on. Most of my free time is spent at the titty bar or just drinking with my bros. When I'm home Trixie always wants to watch Dancing With the Stars or American Idol and I'm not really with that. We do watch Jersey Shore together, natch. GTL bro! I've just really been into the Bears and the strike and everything, really. I went to the Bears/Seahawks game in January and me and my bros totally beat this Seahawks fan's ass. It was awesome. But I talked to a couple of my bros about the Cubs and they told me some things, so here's my preview of the Cubbies 2011 season. Continue reading →

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