16
Nov 11

Miller Park Drunk’s Offseason Predictions

One month.

That's how long it's been since the Brewers were eliminated from the NLCS and robbed of their chance of the World Series by Shaun Marcum the Cardinals. A lot has happened since then. The not-Brewers won the World Series. The Packers didn't lose a game. The Badgers lost a couple they shouldn't have, effectively ending their season. The NBA died. Mark Kotsay signed with another team making the Brewers one rapist looking guy short. Eddie Kingston won the Grand Championship and Colt CaBunny was liberated. The Walking Dead's second season began and producers forgot it was a show about zombies. Kim Kardashian got divorced. Zooey Deschanel became single. Justin Bieber came out with a Christmas album. A guy smoked (a cigarette!) in a political ad. It's been a wild ride.

As for me, it's been a pretty wild ride. Faced with breaking up with my girlfriend and never talking to her again followed by my true love breaking my heart by losing in the playoffs to the Cardinals, I guess you could say I had a little mental break. I went on a journey, not like some lame On The Road inspired journey, but a journey of the mind. A spiritual journey, because that is not at all lame, that took me to the very depths of my soul and made me rethink each and every thing I thought I believed in. I now realize many things about myself and life that I didn't realize before. I know now that the world belongs to Ryan Braun and there is nothing we can do about it. I realize that we are all just puppets in a mass system designed to get us to spend money on a baseball team that will never love us back, but this realization will never stop me from continuing to do it. I've come to figure out that life isn't fair and that God, as we picture him, probably doesn't exist because the Cardinals not only beat us, but won the f*ckin' World Series.

/breathes into paper bag

The point is I return from this journey not with any sort of resolved issues, but with a clear vision of the future. I've gained an understanding of Doug Melvin and the Brewers that has never been witnessed before on this spiritual plane and come to you today with revelations of what our future holds in 2012. Our future, as philosophers say, is so bright that you might want to put on sunglasses. Continue reading →


20
Oct 11

The Brewers lost: How They’re Handling It

Are you over the Brewers elimination yet? I know I'm not. Last night was the first game 1 of the World Series I didn't watch in my entire life. Seriously, I used to turn off Sesame Street to watch that sh-t. I didn't even gamble on it! I just want to pretend it doesn't even exist. It's a weird feeling being this depressed for this long, but I'll be over it eventually. It's like breaking up with someone really. Only if when you broke up with them you knew you were going to get back together in a year, you could check in on them whenever you wanted, they were going to make changes to make themselves better and that neither of you were going to see anyone else for the whole time you were apart. So, you know, the complete opposite of what every girl who has ever broken up with me does.

Still, it's good to know I am not alone in this. Plenty of other Brewers fans have been feeling this same sense of loss and pain. It's good to be together through this, isn't it? Glad you're here. Couldn't do this without you. What's even better to know is that the Brewers themselves are going through some of the same depression that we are and thanks to my standing as the Milwaukee area, baseball specific TMZ I have the pictures to prove it. As you'll see the funny thing about depression is that no two people handle it the same way and the Brewers are no different. Continue reading →


18
Oct 11

The Brewers lost: Baseball is stupid

An argument I've made many times before on this blog is that a single week of games doesn't matter as much as the entire season does. When the Brewers had their "horrible" weekend where they lost 3 out of 4 to the Phillies many Brewers fans were panicking and assuming that this team was not good enough to compete in the playoffs. Remember that? Here is what I wrote then:

Remember when the Brewers won 22 out of 25? Did you think that was going to be forever? Teams have winning streaks and they have losing streaks, it's a part of baseball. Sometimes it's because the pitching stinks, sometimes it's because the hitting sucks and sometimes it's just because they get outplayed and maybe run into some bad luck. That's what this was, that third thing. Get over it. We're going to the playoffs.

And they did and it was fun for a little while.

The Brewers won 96 games during the regular season which makes them the 2nd best team in the National League and tied for third best team in all of baseball. They were the best team in the National League Central and there will be a sign going up that says "2011 NL Central Champions" which is something that nobody else can do next year. Those are a huge, huge accomplishments and they are reason alone to celebrate. That says more about this Milwaukee Brewers team than any single week of the season possibly could and that includes this past week.

The Brewers won 6 more games than the Cardinals during the regular season. They were the better team all season long and the record books will always show that. Then the Cardinals got into the playoffs because the Braves fell apart and they beat us in the NLCS. It sucked, but the playoffs do nothing to show us who is actually better. It just shows who won more games during that week and that is why baseball is stupid. Continue reading →


19
Aug 11

Get a life Blue Jays fans

Here is some recent comments we've had coming into the blog on one of our classic posts.

lawrie is goin hit 400 home runs bat 300 and be the hardest working guy on the feild. smd you brewer bitches lawries a great guy, marcums a old fuck face

Fucking retard, look at Brett lawrie now

Still like the trade???? Highest slugging % in MLB HISTORY after 30 at bats…… sorry brew crew but AA bent you over on this one

Looking like Toroto got the better deal now.. EH?

immature, cocky, brash and 21 years old. your posted pics were of all those descriptions alright mb drunk however you missed the key points. hit for avg, hit for power, HIT HIT HIT when it counts. and oh ya, EXCITING to watch. Brewers are all of that arent they? U suck and the Brewers suck.

Grande Slam tonight bitch

First of all, are there not Toronto Blue Jays blogs or something? Someone should start one of those up because apparently they have the internet in Canada now. Second, I realize that Canada is a little bit behind America in, well, everything, but are they just getting my posts from December now? This is OLD news. It's not like we've been sitting here tauning them about the trade the whole time. We knew Brett Lawrie would be good, we thought he might be awesome even, but we made the trade for the right reasons.

With that being said... Continue reading →


13
Jul 11

The Best and Worst of the Milwaukee Brewers first half

We've reached the halfway point of the season (not really, but MLB likes to pretend that the All-Star Game is the midway point of the season so we're going to go with it) and the good news is the Milwaukee Brewers are currently tied for first place. The bad news is everything else. After years of hoping for success the Brewers are finally experiencing some and we've found there are a lot more problems at the top. It's just like the plot of every movie ever.

It's been a very strange first half of the season. There are so many things to be happy about (Prince, Braun, Weeks) and so many things to make you angry (Greinke, Yuni, McGehee, Greinke again, Yuni again, Greinke) that you end up looking at the day's boxscore and the result tells you how you feel about them. Outside of being busy (and lazy) (and drunk), the unpredictable nature of this season has limited my writing the most. I didn't know what to write.

There has been ups and downs, but the Brewers are in a good spot. They're in first place. (Hey, have I mentioned they're in first place!?) Let's take a look at how things stands at the end of the first half. You know, cover all the bases (see what I did there?) and just for fun we're going to do it "Best and Worst" style (without permission) like Brandon Stroud does at With Leather every Tuesday for WWE Raw. Continue reading →

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