18
Mar 13

A brief history of Bobby Crosby: Milwaukee Brewer

Brewers release Bobby CrosbySad day for all you CrosBees out there as Bobby Crosby has found himself back in the unemployment line. Crosby hadn't played in the major leagues since 2010, but was attempting a comeback with the Brewers this season. Crosby had a reputation of being an excellent glove man with a bat that resembled a branch that fell off of a dead tree that he was able to live up to in Brewers spring training. Crosby hoped that he could get enough hits off of mediocre pitching in spring training to temporarily convince the Brewers that he had value, but was unable to even accomplish this simple task as he often struck out when hitting off the tee in batting practice.

His time with the Brewers was short lived, but for completionist's sake we have created this archive of his entire Brewers career. For science. Continue reading →


29
Mar 12

Are We There Yet?

I love baseball, but I hate spring training.

To a lot of people baseball begins when the pitchers and catchers report to spring training. Some people even make the pilgrimage down to Arizona to watch the games. Other people like to post play-by-play of every spring training "game" on twitter like it's game six of the World Series. I am not one of these people. (Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging these people. Baseball season doesn't start for me until after Wrestlemania so who the hell am I to talk?)

The thing about spring training is that it's not really baseball. In baseball there are two teams that want to win that each make strategic moves in an attempt to make that goal a reality. In spring training there are a few guys who want to do good because this might be their only chance to impress, a few guys who waited to long to get into shape, a few guys who want to get laid by some MILFs in the stands and the rest of the team just wants it to be over with already. And you know those guys that you want to see? The stars? The good players? They are in the last two categories, not the first two. I love the Milwaukee Brewers, but watching them play spring training is the absolute worst. I'd rather watch a Batman themed gay porn with Alfred and Robin doing bondage.

(I am going to get so many weird Google search hits from that line.)

Continue reading →


08
Mar 12

The Brewer Games

Much like everyone else in the world I recently read Suzanne Collins' hit novel The Hunger Games. It was a pretty good read, quite the page turner actually, and I am excited to see the movie. (Woody Harrelson as Haymitch and Lenny Kravitz as Cinna is seriously inspired casting. And I'd like to give Jennifer Lawrence a Winter's Bone. #ifyouknowwhatimean) The ending left a little bit to be desired, but whatever. I'll probably read the sequels. Katniss is a badass, yo.

Now you may be wondering why I am talking about a YA novel that is soon to be a major motion picture on a Milwaukee Brewers blog. Shouldn't we be talking about spring training or something? Well, first of all I'd like to ask: is this your first time reading this site? Just be happy we're not writing about outfits. Second of all, spring training is borrrriiiiinnnnnggggggg. Thirdly, the book got me thinking about the Milwaukee Brewers and their own killing tendencies.

You see in The Hunger Games there is a tournament with 24 entrants and they must all fight to the death in order to win. The Milwaukee Brewers have 25 roster spots. 25 and 24 are only one number apart! The Hunger Games is filled with a bunch of people with weird names (Katniss, Peeta, Cinna) and so are the Brewers (Norichika, Yovani, "Ryan".) Baseball is a sport and The Hunger Games is like a sporting event. The parallels between this book and the Brewers are endless! (Okay maybe not, but roll with me here.) There are so many similarities between these two things that the question needs to be asked: Who would win the Hunger Games if it only consisted of players on the Brewers 25 man roster? Let's find out. Continue reading →


08
Mar 11

Milwaukee Brewers learn that white men can’t jump the hard way

Zack Greinke hasn't looked good thus far in his first spring training with the Milwaukee Brewers. I figured this was because it was spring training and it doesn't really matter, but unfortunately that wasn't the case and he has actually been nursing a rib injury since the beginning of spring training. How was the rib injury sustained, you ask? Was he signing too many autographs for his new Brewers fans? No. Was he working out extra hard to get back into Cy Young award winning form for his new team? No. Was he doing an extreme version of the Zack Greinke dance? Sadly, no.

No, Zack Greinke got his rib injury playing basketball. Going for a rebound. For real. I'm not kidding. Our savior thinks he's Tom frickin' Gugliotta.

To make matters worse "rib injury" is actually a poor way to describe what Zack Greinke is suffering with because he actually has a BROKEN RIB and a CRACKED RIB. You know, no big deal. It's not like pitchers need their ribs or anything. It's only the worst news to ever happen in the history of baseball. Continue reading →


22
Feb 11

Milwaukee Brewers prepared for the best spring training ever

Spring training has begun for the Milwaukee Brewers and excitement has reached an all-time high. With the trades for Yuniesky Betancourt and Shaun Marcum; the team, fans, management and everyone in Wisconsin has expectations through the roof. It might sound crazy to say, but this might just be the most important spring training of our lives.

Or it could be just like every other spring training. A lot of stupid questions, terrible speculation and a whole bunch of BS. For example, check out what Ryan Braun recently had to say about new manager Ron Roenicke. Keep in mind Ryan Braun had been in spring training for an entire day before making this statement.

It’s a thousand times different now. The whole atmosphere, the whole environment is much more positive. There’s just an aura of excitement. When you walk in here, you can literally feel the difference. We can all sense it and it’s exciting. The more positive your work environment is, the more conducive it is to accomplishing anything you can to be successful. He was really positive and optimistic and he was a great communicator. I think those things are something we all look for in a leader and a manager.

Really, Ryan? You gained all of that from one day?

(I secretly hope that Roenicke was just saving his negativity until today's first full practice so we can see Ryan Braun come out and say "Yeah, so, Roenicke's kind of a dick.")

Still, he said it so it's out there now. The Brewers are now in a better, more positive atmosphere and even better Ryan Braun is in the BEST SHAPE OF HIS LIFE.

So we can cross "_______ is in the best shape of his life" and "this year feels different/everything is better" off of our spring training story to do list. What else can we cross off? Continue reading →

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