29
May 12

Pants Party 2: Sausage Fest

On August 29th 2010 people gathered at Miller Park from all over the fine state of Wisconsin to take part in an event known as "Miller Park Drunk's Pants Party." Few knew what they were getting into before the event, but after some amazing food, a great party, a Brewers win and a pantsless kegstand; everyone who attended realized they just had one of the greatest times ever and their lives were never the same a-gain.

For a variety of reasons 2011 did not feature a return event and many people were left extremely disappointed. Some turned to hard drugs to ease the pain, others to crime. (One dude even ate another dude's face in Florida.) Relationships crumbled, the dead rose from the grave, humans were sacrificed, cats and dogs started living together... it was mass hysteria! But that's all over now because today is a new dawn.

The clouds have parted, the sun has come out and Miller Park Drunk's Pants Party has returned. Rejoice because on July 15th...

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29
Apr 10

I never want to hear Hell’s Bells again

Last night I watched the Milwaukee Bucks come back from a double digit deficit in the fourth quarter to steal game 5 in Atlanta, breaking a 14 game home winning streak for the Hawks and setting the Bucks up to close the series out Friday in Milwaukee. Despite them being down I never stopped believing that they could win and they proved me right.

Yesterday during the day I had the same feeling except it was the exact opposite. Sitting in my seat at Miller Park with the Brewers leading our hated rival Pirates 4-3 in the bottom of the eighth I prayed for runs. I'm not a religious man, I once told someone that I was sick of Jesus c-blocking me all the time, but I still got down on my knees and prayed for a four run lead. Why? I didn't want to hear Hell's Bells. I didn't want Trevor Hoffman to come in for the save. I wanted Suppan or Vargas, anyone but Trevor.

In 2009 "Hell's Bells" was the best time you could have at a Brewers game. In 2010 it sends people heading for the exits with their heads down. It makes an optimistic fan like myself break a cheese fries helmet and try to slit his wrist. Except it's not really fear. I wasn't afraid that Trevor Hoffman would blow the save, I knew Trevor Hoffman would blow the save. Not only did I know that he would blow the save I knew how he would do it too, I knew he'd give up a homerun. Probably to the first batter of the inning. What happened? Well, he gave up a homerun to the first batter and blew the save. Of course he did and it was at that moment that I realized I never want to hear "Hell's Bells" again in my life and that I think I hate Trevor Hoffman. Continue reading →


19
Oct 09

Witrado’s Quest 3

The slow news days have begun and due to MLB rules there is only a playoff game once every six days. What do we do? Inspired by our favorite site The Dugout, we've decided to follow our favorite JSOnline writer Anthony Witrado on a quest. A quest to find love, adulation and respect in a cruel world that doesn't understand him or particularly like him. Will he find what he's been seeking? Or will he fail at it, like he's failed at life so many times before? Find out in Witrado's Quest: A Miller Park Drunk Event.

In part one Anthony learned that his fellow writers at the Journal Sentinel were not fans of his. In part two convinced that they were the only ones, Anthony set off to find someone who liked him at Miller Park only to be met with more failure and a cross-dressing Doug Melvin. Blaming the state of Wisconsin instead of his own shortcomings, Anthony headed back to his home in California where his favorite team was playing a meaningful game. Continue reading →

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