14
Oct 09

Zack Hample, Conan O’Brien and why ballhawking is still a bad choice

I like to think that I am the world's foremost expert on d-bags who wear gloves to a baseball game. When I am asked to go on CNN to comment on the Happy Youngster's inevitable serial killing spree, I want it to to look like this.

cnnpic

I can talk and write about this topic forever. They never stop being fun to make fun of. I know the ins and outs of the game and in some ways I'm the Bill James of the hating-ballhawks community. So you should know that NOTHING on this planet gave me more pleasure than seeing Conan O'Brien give him the business on the Tonight Show. In case you missed it: Continue reading →


18
Sep 09

MPD Field Trip: Wrigley Field Part 1

gerutcameronThe thing that I love most about Brewers fans is their ability to travel. The Brewers can't go on a road trip without someone from Wisconsin taking their vacation around wanting to see them play. While other teams may have larger fan bases, the Brewers fans are as loyal as anyone. They're like really good stalkers. I like to travel with the team myself, but I prefer to spend my money on multiple games spread across the season as opposed to spending a lot on a single series. Another thing I love? Drinking. That's why I try to take the trip down to Wrigley for at least one game a year. I'm still traveling with the team, it doesn't affect my Brewer game budget and I can drink heavily. About a month ago I picked Thursday's 1:20 game as the perfect opportunity to make my annual trip and got four bleacher tickets because I wanted sun. My crew for this day was my buddy Oscar (Brewers fan) and two other buddies (Cubs fans). We all had the simplest of instructions, prepare to get legendary.

Continue reading →


15
Sep 09

Haray Caray Preview Tonight’s Game

Well, yesterday I promised you a very special guest writer today and here he is, HARRY CARAY!!!!!! Also, follow me on twitter!

harrycarayHello again everybody and welcome to the Miller Park Drunk game preview of the, uh, Cubs and Brewers live from, uh, Wrigley Field. *coughs* Lemme tell ya, being dead is tough business. Ho lemme tell ya. It a beautiful day for baseball here at Wrigley Field and the Cubs look to win their second straight against the Milwaukee Brewers. Boy could I go for another cold Budweiser right now, Steve. I remember one time we were in Milwaukee when I was announcing for the White Sox, lemme tell ya I had one too many Budweisers and I woke up in a place that,  uh, I couldn't even pronounce the name of but it had those two, uh, those two dots over a couple of the letters and the worst part about it was I had no pants on! Holy cow. I much prefer to sleep in my own bed, but I guess that's what happens when you take a pill given to you by a stranger. Speaking of strangers, Steve, this woman came up to me that night and she told me she was a big Cubbies fan and then grabbed my package. She says to me, she says "Harry" and I said, "yes" and she says "is that your package in my hand?" and I looked her straight in the eye and says to her I says "It could be. It might be. It is!" I'm just pulling your chain there Steve. Man am I glad I was dead for that Bartman thing.

Hopefully the Cubs can get a win tonight and send some of these fans home happy. You know what makes me happy? Those Asian massage parlors, ho-ly cowww. Let's get some runs!

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