25
Jul 12

RIP 2012 Milwaukee Brewers

Well, the improbable has become the basically impossible and I am throwing in the towel on the 2012 Milwaukee Brewers playoff hopes. Notice I said playoff hopes and not the team itself? Yeah, that's how you do it. There is a lot of summer left with basically nothing to do so watching the Brewers is still going to be one of the cornerstones of my life until the season is over. I will still want them to win baseball games because watching my favorite baseball team win games is fun for me. I've never understood why some people take on the opinion that once a team is eliminated from the playoffs they should lose every game for the rest of the season to improve their draft pick. What fun is that? You people watch too much basketball. I'm not saying the Brewers should be adding pieces or not doing trades to improve themselves for the future, but if Yovani Gallardo is pitching and Ryan Braun is hitting then that can be a fun team to watch. You should want those guys to win especially if you, you know, have tickets to a game and want to have a good time. This isn't rocket science. This is rocket science:

It's okay to still like a baseball team that isn't going to the playoffs. If you don't agree just watch the Packers practice in sweatpants or whatever.

I really had high hopes for the 2012 Milwaukee Brewers and there has been nothing that happened this season to make me doubt those high hopes. Things simply didn't go their way. Their shortstop got hurt, their bullpen wasn't that good which was exacerbated by the fact that some of their better arms had to fill in for injured starting pitchers, a handful of players decided not to show up in April, John Axford had his wisdom teeth pulled and decided it would be fun to pitch like he was still in the middle of surgery and luck never once felt like it was on the Brewers side. A few breaks the other way and this team is right in the thick of it, but if I start agonizing over "what ifs" now I might start crying. WHAT IF ROENICKE DIDN'T GO MARCUM THEN NARVESON IN GAME 6 GUYS!? WHAT IF HE USED BEST RELIEVERS INSTEAD!? WHAT IF!?

/looks at unused NLCS game 7 ticket
/cries

Continue reading →


29
Mar 12

Are We There Yet?

I love baseball, but I hate spring training.

To a lot of people baseball begins when the pitchers and catchers report to spring training. Some people even make the pilgrimage down to Arizona to watch the games. Other people like to post play-by-play of every spring training "game" on twitter like it's game six of the World Series. I am not one of these people. (Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging these people. Baseball season doesn't start for me until after Wrestlemania so who the hell am I to talk?)

The thing about spring training is that it's not really baseball. In baseball there are two teams that want to win that each make strategic moves in an attempt to make that goal a reality. In spring training there are a few guys who want to do good because this might be their only chance to impress, a few guys who waited to long to get into shape, a few guys who want to get laid by some MILFs in the stands and the rest of the team just wants it to be over with already. And you know those guys that you want to see? The stars? The good players? They are in the last two categories, not the first two. I love the Milwaukee Brewers, but watching them play spring training is the absolute worst. I'd rather watch a Batman themed gay porn with Alfred and Robin doing bondage.

(I am going to get so many weird Google search hits from that line.)

Continue reading →


31
Jul 11

Brewers make trades for has been, never was

The trade deadline has come and gone and seemingly every team in the league was making deals, looking for that one piece to take their team from contender to champion.

The Indians got Ubaldo Jimenez! The Giants got Carlos Beltran! The Red Sox got Erik Bedard! The Rangers got Mike Adams and Koji Uehera! The Braves got Michael Bourn! The Phillies got Hunter Pence!

Some very good teams got better and in the process the road to the World Series got a whole lot tougher for the Brewers. Those weren't the only moves of the weekend either. The NL Central is so close right now and the two teams chasing the Brewers made moves to bolster their teams as well. Big moves that could shake the very foundation of the National League.

The Pirates got Derek Lee and Ryan Ludwick!

The Cardinals got Edwin Jackson and Rafael Furcal!

I mean, wow. Am I right? Those guys weren't messing around! Those Pirates really added some big bats... from four years ago. Normally the Brewers would be shaking in their boots right now seeing big names like those going to their rivals at the same time Rickie Weeks went down, but not this year. They know that Doug Melvin has their back and that he would make some deadline deals of his own. No worries, they possibly thought, we're going to do some trades of our own to blow these guys out of the water because in Doug we trust. And you know what? They were right. Doug Melvin went out and got exactly what this team needed to get to the next level.

The Brewers got Felipe Lopez and Jerry Hairston Jr.!

Umm... wait, what? Continue reading →


18
Apr 11

The Milwaukee Brewers got swept by who!?

I woke up this morning and I came to a shocking realization.

I realized that:

  • There was 2-4 inches of snow on the ground
  • Livan Hernandez shut down the Brewers offense
  • The Brewers just got swept by the Nationals

What kind of Bizarro World did I just wake up in? What's with all this snow? Where is the global warming when I need it? And really, who loses both ends of a doubleheader? Besides the Brewers like 400 times already. Who's even managing this team, Ned Macha? Seriously, what is going on here?

That being said besides the snow I don't see any reason to panic. Maybe in retrospect I'd prefer Yovani didn't throw 111 pitches in his second start of the season because he hasn't been the same since, but that will work itself out. (Hopefully.) Let's do something that we never do around here and look at the past three days and maybe come to some understanding about how this sweep could happen. Continue reading →


23
Apr 10

Apparently people don’t like this sort of behavior, your Cubs series preview

Apparently people don't like it when people do stuff like this, which is kind of stupid really. If I saw a guy walking down the street with his friend filming him I'd boo him too. (That's probably why I got fired from my job as an extra on that Keanu Reeves movie.) This is so obviously pre-planned you'd think it was for a reality dating show. There is absolutely no reason to be filming that unless you want to get attention and make Cubs fans look stupid. (Hint: they don't need your help.)

I'm not saying they weren't dicks, but the fact is that this sort of behavior is to be expected at a baseball game especially one where you are an away fan. If you don't expect to hear "you suck" at least fifty times, you're an idiot. It's kind of the point, you want one team to win and one team to lose. If someone is around that wants your team to lose, you don't like them. That's just how it works, it's not a big deal. Someone is going to boo you, don't frickin' cry about it.

The site I found this video on had a discussion in the comments calling this "distasteful" saying "they can't take their kids to games" and my personal favorite "as a Cubs fan, I am quite embarrassed." Really? He got booed. BOOED. People used their mouths to make a "boo" sound and directed it at him. That's it.

Did he get a drink thrown at him? No. Continue reading →

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