02
Mar 10

The Brewers are former stars of pro wrestling

It is officially my favorite time of the year.

The weather is slowly starting to get better, spring training has begun and Wrestlemania is right around the corner. Yeah, I said Wrestlemania. Just like everyone that didn't get laid enough wrestling was a big part of my life growing up. I mean, who didn't have a Stone Cold, Rock or nWo t-shirt in that sweet 97-2000 period? Losers, that's who. This should come as no surprise to any of you really. After all, Miller Park Drunk WAS the site that originally suggested the Ultimate Warrior theme for Todd Coffey and we all know how that turned out.

I don't watch as much wrestling as I did back then, but I usually always end up checking it out around Wrestlemania time. If you're looking for a good show, it's a pay-per-view that never lets you down unlike the majority of boxing and the occasional UFC PPVs I have watched over the years (one of the many positives of watching a fake sport.) Sure, there is still some stupid stuff on the show like last year's 20 minute Kid Rock concert, but overall at the end of the show I always feel as if I've gotten my money's worth and it's a perfect set-up drinking-wise for Opening Day. Last season was the perfect storm for my Wrestlemania/baseball orgy as Wrestlemania was Sunday, I went to Twins Opening Day on Monday and then made it home Tuesday for the Brewers first game of the season. Just a great three days of drinking, sporting, hanging with my friends and, of course, drinking. It's spread a bit further out this year, but for some strange reason nothing gets me ready for baseball season like Wrestlemania.

Now all these thoughts of wrestling and baseball have me mixing up the two. Was it Kane that Tombstoned Pete Rose or was that Richie Sexson? Who won 1992 Rookie of the Year for the Brewers, Pat Listach or The Repo Man? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the reason I am confusing the two so much is because they are so much alike. Richie Sexson was who he was because of his size, just like Kane. Pat Listach basically stole the Rookie of the Year award from Kenny Lofton and then disappeared a few years later because he wasn't that good, just like the Repo Men basically stole people's cars and disappeared because he wasn't that good. (Sidenote: how did Listach get  so many at-bats in 96-97? He was awful, I'm talking Shockmaster awful.) The comparisons are endless. However, for the purposes of this article we'll be limiting the comparisons to players currently on the team. So without any further adieu I present to you...

Miller Park Drunk's Guide to Brewers as WWF/E Stars

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29
May 09

Tonight is what it means to be young

In some ways you could say that the Reds are the new Brewers. Young talent up and down the lineup. Exciting prospects, endless possibilities. The only difference is when the Brewers were young and upcoming they had a manager in Ned Yost whose sole job was to make them comfortable and make them into steady Major Leaguers by letting them work their way through trouble. The Reds? They are managed by Dusty Baker. Who has ruined a few pitchers career in his life and prefers players like Corey Patterson over unproven youngsters. Say what you will about Ned Yost, but I am happy we've never had a Dusty Baker-esque manager around these parts. We wouldn't be where we are without him. If you don't believe me just ask Mark Prior. Or Aaron Harang.

Should be a good series this weekend. All three pitching matchups are good. I was at both losses to the Cardinals and it wasn't very fun, but at the same time I did see a few signs of life and the day off had to have helped. I might go to the game tomorrow night, haven't decided yet, but if you do have a few for me and when you hear the Ultimate Warrior music during Todd Coffey's entrance have a few more. It's all we ask for really.

Next week should be fun as we're rolling out another cool new feature. Until then, I'm going to eat some mexican food and drink some beer. Have a good one.

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27
May 09

Attention readers: we have changed the world

April 22nd, 2009. Miller Park Drunk.

At the time my friends and I made the obligatory “looks like Coffey had too much coffee jokes” (maybe he should switch to decaf, hey-yo!), but the more I think about it the more he reminded me of the Ultimate Warrior hitting the ring. I’m not saying he needs to paint his face or anything (although that wouldn’t hurt), but I am going to go ahead and insist that he enter the ring game to the Ultimate Warrior’s music from now on.

I just got back from going to the last two Brewers games and guess what? He did it. He entered to the music. We have changed the world and done it for the better. Why? Because it worked. When that music hits, the crowd goes wild and it fits PERFECTLY. You're welcome Brewers fans.


22
Apr 09

Todd Coffey is the Warrior

Todd Coffey is the Ultimate WarriorDespite having the second worst record in the MLB right now, many Brewers fans are pumped up about the emergence of Todd Coffey as a dominating reliever. I have to admit I am pretty happy about it too. Many people are taking this as a huge surprise, but anyone who remembers last season shouldn't be. Coffey was lights out after joining the Brewers with 7Ks in 7.1 IPs with an ERA of 0.00. Since joining the Brewers, Coffey has rocked.

The thing is I knew from the first time I saw him live on Saturday April 11th, that he would be one of my favorite players. When he came into that game, he exited the bullpen running. I don't mean he jogged out, I mean he ran to the mound like Steve Prefontaine. This guy was booking. At the time my friends and I made the obligatory "looks like Coffey had too much coffee jokes" (maybe he should switch to decaf, hey-yo!), but the more I think about it the more he reminded me of the Ultimate Warrior hitting the ring. I'm not saying he needs to paint his face or anything (although that wouldn't hurt), but I am going to go ahead and insist that he enter the ring game to the Ultimate Warrior's music from now on. It's just too perfect not to do it. Embrace your inner Warrior, Todd. The planets from the grimlack system have aligned.

Now I've never heard a Todd Coffey interview and I don't know how he feels about smoking, but if it's anything like this? Yeah, I'm going ahead and buying that jersey.

Don't ever change.

  • BrewBay

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