21
Aug 09

Keep watching, the best part hasn’t even happened yet

Drunk Brewers fanIt seems that the bandwagon is emptying at an alarming rate. I try to keep positive because, well for one it's not very smart for me to say "stop caring about baseball, the Brewers season is over! Go find another blog!" and two, it's still baseball. Crazy things happen all the time. You just never know. Of course with every loss to the Pirates, you kind of DO know.

A recent poll on Brew Crew Ball has 1% of Brewers fans saying they won't give up on the season until it's over with 83% having already given up. 83%!!!! I'm not exactly sure what this means though. If you are among the 83%, do you still care about what happens? Or have you mentally checked out? Have you moved on to football season? If this is the case, I ask you to reconsider. This Brewers season is not the one we wanted, but it's still the Brewers season. It's kind of like a bad porno. Sure, the girls aren't as hot as you expected and they're all tatt'ed up like Josh Hamilton. Sure, there is too much closeup. Sure, the plot sucks and the music is terrible. The fact of the matter is it's still a porno, it's still people having sex. Despite it's problems there are a number of good reasons to continue watching the Brewers. Just like you keep watching the porno for the T&A, you should keep watching the Brewers for these reasons (and just like in porno not one of them is a "sausage race".) Continue reading →


19
Aug 09

This isn’t the first time the Brewers have let you down

While I am still not 100% committed to throwing in the towel on the 2009 Brewers season the fact remains that in order for the Brewers to make the playoffs this season will require a minor miracle. Not quite a water into wine type miracle, but something along the lines of the Brewers bullpen holding a lead, Jason Kendall getting an extra base hit or an awful writer not losing his job when the newspaper industry is going broke. The mere existence of Anthony Witrado gives our season hope.

Whatever happens this season know that this isn't the first time the Brewers have let fans down after a successful season. In 1982 they made the World Series and on August 25th 1983 they were in first place, but by the end of the season they were 11 games back and in a pre-Wild Card world out of the playoffs (not that they would have made it anyways). So if you are feeling let down by the Brewers now, just imagine what it was like in 1983. You know, besides totally awesome.

Or we could just do the imagining for you. That's right, it's Miller Park Drunk: 1983 Edition.

Continue reading →


24
Jul 09

Miller Park Drunk E-Mail Show with Right Field Bleachers, Part 2

beermilwaukeeshirtPart one was a bit more by the book and with part two we had a bit more fun. If you aren't already doing so check out Right Field Bleachers, it's a lot like this site only with more writers, more photshopping and less pretend conversations. Good stuff.

MPD: Congratulations on making me gag myself. Once with the clam chowder analogy and a second time at the thought of Vicente Padilla in a Brewers uniform (hang on.... yep, this one just made me gag a third time). I think we're all at the point now where we are getting antsy for the Brewers to do something. Earlier in the season Melvin was quote as saying he wasn't sure if he needed a bat or a pitcher and I think it has become painfully clear to anyone with even the slightest of baseball knowledge (Tom Haudricourt comes to mind) what the team needs. We're well past the point of wondering if this team will make a move and now we are forced to sit and wait for it to happen. We've actually been (seemingly) waiting so long that it's gotten to the point where people are wondering if they might actually need two starting pitchers. I'm all about waiting for the right deal/player/trade, but come on already. People are dying out there!

You mentioned that you wouldn't mind seeing Corey Hart leaving in a trade and my kneejerk reaction is to say "well, who would replace him?" (Catalanatto is probably a better hitter, but a HUGE defensive dropoff. Gerut is the opposite.) At the same time the two easiest positions to fill on the field are first base and corner outfield. There are lots of bats out there that could step in and do close to what he's doing so I could almost see it. Almost. I'm just not convinced the team is ready to give up on him yet (which is weird considering all the grief he gave them in arbitration.) Does his popularity have anything to do with it? I don't know, but the more I think about Corey Hart, the more he reminds me of Jeff Francouer of the Braves. No great batting eye to speak of. Power to spare. Perpetually underachieving. Short flashes of brilliance. Ends up league average or worse. Hart is older, but he's like Francouer in that he was a lot better two years ago. Hart's improved his walk rate quite a bit this year (which could easily come back to Earth), but so did his strikeout rate went up too and it's come at the cost of some power (which could easily not come back to Earth). I am not sure if he's ever going to be much better than he was in 2007 and considering his first half of 2008 was likely a serious outlier, maybe dangling him out there is the right move. If the team can get some value for him now, why not? Sure, a few thousand female fans would be upset but they had to have figured out he wasn't really attractive at some point right? I don't know if Corey Hart gets you Ian Snell of the Pirates or Erik Bedard of the Mariners. I really just don't know, but I'd like to see Doug try and figure that out. I suspect even the Moustache hates hearing that at-bat music three times a game.

Forget Hart for a second though, let's talk about another can't miss Brewer: Mat Gamel. He only spells his name with one T so you know he's bad ass. I understand (and love) that Casey McGehee has been playing out of his mind for the past month, but can this dude get more than one start in a week? He's shown flashes and in my arm-chair-scout-who-has-no-idea-what-he's-talking-about opinion his at-bats have improved since he first came up quite a bit. He deserves an honest shot out there before they switch McGehee into virtually full time 3B mode. Give him two weeks of starts, then we'll talk. It's all I ask really because I think Gamel could be one of the next great Brewers and he should be out there playing. Or if the team sends him down, it should be to practice right field in preparation for him finishing the season there. Where do you stand on the send him down/keep him up argument and where do you see him going in the future as a Brewer? Continue reading →


17
Jul 09

A peek inside the Brewers bullpen

The Brewers are enjoying a comfortable 9-3 lead.

trevorhoffman Psst!
seth mcclung /walks Nix
trevorhoffman Pssst!!!
seth mcclung /wipes 2 liters of sweat off brow

Wha? Who keeps doin' dat? I be tryin' to pitch good.

trevorhoffman (whispering) It's me. Trevor.
seth mcclung Oh, hey boss. What can I do for ya?
trevorhoffman I need you to give up three runs.
seth mcclung Wha? Why? We need to win this one boss! We cruisin' to a victory!
trevorhoffman Don't worry about that, just give up this home run so the game will be a save situation.
seth mcclung Bu..bu.... but I wanted to be a startin again soon! I need to prove myself to Mr. Mancha!
trevorhoffman Listen Red, you're never going to be a starter again.
seth mcclung Why not?
trevorhoffman For one, you're not that good.
seth mcclung /walks Gomes
trevorhoffman See.
seth mcclung Aww hell that don't matter. Look at the rest of our staff.
trevorhoffman True, but you're also nature's mistake.
seth mcclung What in the sam hell is that supposed to mean?
trevorhoffman Your hair.
seth mcclung What's wrong with it?
trevorhoffman Don't play dumb I've seen you on Yahoo Answers.
seth mcclung Yeah, but there been lotsa good red headed baseball players.
trevorhoffman Like who?
seth mcclung Chris Shelton.
trevorhoffman /stares
seth mcclung Man, you got a creepy lookin' face. It looks like you stole it from a wax museum in the Dells.
Okay, what 'bout Bobby Kielty?
trevorhoffman Maybe in the California Penal League.
seth mcclung Steve Howe?
trevorhoffman Maybe in the Betty Ford League.
seth mcclung Doug Rader! He won 5 Gold Gloves!
trevorhoffman Yeah, but that was in the 70s when they used to pick the Gold Glove awards by who could do the Hustle and who could get the best quaaludes.
seth mcclung True. That certainly explains Mark Belanger, but whatta 'bout Wade Boggs? Great hitter, could drank 'bout 70 beers, hung out with Mr. Perfect, sex addict, used to record other players cheatin' to protect himself.

Wait, scratch that last one.

trevorhoffman Oh, would you just give up the home run already? You know you were going to anyways.
seth mcclung Fine.

/gives up 3 run bomb

trevorhoffman :o
toddcoffey /RUNS WILDLY
trevorhoffman Psst!!
toddcoffey STFU TREVOR I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT RED HEADS

trevor time

Epilogue: Saves with a three run lead are stupid.


07
Jul 09

Doug Melvin strikes down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger

Ryan Braun I know [Melvin] is trying to make our ballclub better. I know he recognizes the importance of making a move and making it soon. But at the same time, I think everybody's recognized there's a lot of teams that are still in th--
Doug Melvin /shoots Chorizo
chorizo /dies
Doug Melvin Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that, eh. Please, continue. You were sayin' something about how you think I should do my job eh?
Ryan Braun [silence]
Doug Melvin What's the matter? Oh, y-you were finished eh? Oh, well allow me to retort!

What does Bernie Brewer look like?

Ryan Braun What?
Doug Melvin /flips over bench

What country you from?

Ryan Braun What?
Doug Melvin "What" ain't no country I ever heard of, eh! And I would know aboot a country called "What", eh. They speak English in "What"?!
Ryan Braun What?
Doug Melvin ENGLISH RYAN BRAUN DO YOU SPEAK IT EH?
Ryan Braun YES
Doug Melvin Then you know what I'm saying? Describe what Bernie Brewer LOOKS like, eh!
Ryan Braun What?
Doug Melvin /points mustache at Braun

Say what again. I dare you, I double dare you motherf@%&r say what one more goddamn time, eh!

Ryan Braun He-he-he's white.
Doug Melvin Go on, eh.
Ryan Braun He has a big yellow mustache.
Doug Melvin Does he bring joy to children?
Ryan Braun What!?
Doug Melvin /slaps Braun with mustache

DOES HE BRING JOY TO KIDS, EH!?

Ryan Braun YES!!
Doug Melvin Then why you trying to f@%& that up? Why you trying to demoralize the people in the organization at a time when we should be pulling together. It puts a bad taste in our mouths.
Ryan Braun I didn't!
Doug Melvin Yes you did. Yes. You. Did, Ryan. You tried to demoralize people in the organization and Bernie Brewer don't like to be f'd by anybody except Mrs. Brewer.

Do you read the Journal Sentinel Ryan?

Ryan Braun Yes.
Doug Melvin God, why? The Bible is so much better. There's this passage I've got memorized, sorta fits the occassion.
Ryan Braun Ezekiel 25:17?
Doug Melvin No, that's not even a real passage, eh. It's Deuteronomy 21:18-21.
Doug Melvin "Suppose a man has a stubborn, rebellious son who will not obey his father or mother, even though they discipline him. In such cases, the father and mother must take the son before the leaders of the town. They must declare: 'This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious and refuses to obey. He is a worthless drunkard.' Then all the men of the town must stone him to death." Eh.
Ryan Braun /ponders

That's kind of insane.

I think I know what I have to do.

Ryan Braun enters the locker room carrying a large box.

Ryan Braun /throws Remetee shirts in the air

Free shirts for everybody! Even you Mike Burns and Seth McClung!

Doug Melvin Sigh, eh.

/walks the Earth like Caine

Years later.

Doug Melvin /dies of autoerotic fatality