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I know [Melvin] is trying to make our ballclub better. I know he recognizes the importance of making a move and making it soon. But at the same time, I think everybody's recognized there's a lot of teams that are still in th-- |
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/shoots Chorizo |
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/dies |
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Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that, eh. Please, continue. You were sayin' something about how you think I should do my job eh? |
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[silence] |
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What's the matter? Oh, y-you were finished eh? Oh, well allow me to retort!
What does Bernie Brewer look like? |
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What? |
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/flips over bench
What country you from? |
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What? |
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"What" ain't no country I ever heard of, eh! And I would know aboot a country called "What", eh. They speak English in "What"?! |
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What? |
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ENGLISH RYAN BRAUN DO YOU SPEAK IT EH? |
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YES |
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Then you know what I'm saying? Describe what Bernie Brewer LOOKS like, eh! |
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What? |
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/points mustache at Braun
Say what again. I dare you, I double dare you motherf@%&r say what one more goddamn time, eh! |
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He-he-he's white. |
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Go on, eh. |
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He has a big yellow mustache. |
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Does he bring joy to children? |
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What!? |
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/slaps Braun with mustache
DOES HE BRING JOY TO KIDS, EH!? |
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YES!! |
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Then why you trying to f@%& that up? Why you trying to demoralize the people in the organization at a time when we should be pulling together. It puts a bad taste in our mouths. |
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I didn't! |
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Yes you did. Yes. You. Did, Ryan. You tried to demoralize people in the organization and Bernie Brewer don't like to be f'd by anybody except Mrs. Brewer.
Do you read the Journal Sentinel Ryan? |
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Yes. |
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God, why? The Bible is so much better. There's this passage I've got memorized, sorta fits the occassion. |
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Ezekiel 25:17? |
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No, that's not even a real passage, eh. It's Deuteronomy 21:18-21. |
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"Suppose a man has a stubborn, rebellious son who will not obey his father or mother, even though they discipline him. In such cases, the father and mother must take the son before the leaders of the town. They must declare: 'This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious and refuses to obey. He is a worthless drunkard.' Then all the men of the town must stone him to death." Eh. |
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/ponders
That's kind of insane. I think I know what I have to do. |
Ryan Braun enters the locker room carrying a large box. |
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/throws Remetee shirts in the air
Free shirts for everybody! Even you Mike Burns and Seth McClung! |
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Sigh, eh.
/walks the Earth like Caine |
Years later. |
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/dies of autoerotic fatality |
Tag Archives: whiteness
The Miller Park Drunk E-Mail Show with Al of Al’s Ramblings, Part 2
We now bring you part two of our e-mail conversation with Al of Al's Ramblings for The Miller Park Drunk E-Mail Show. Part two is a bit longer than part 1 as we get into Rickie Weeks, Mike Cameron, post-2009, potential trades, JJ Hardy, Manny Parra and the future of the team. We started to hit a groove towards the end there and we're happy with the results. This is probably the most actual analysis you'll ever see us do, so enjoy it while you can.
MPD: Bill Hall is a great example of casual fans not thinking things through. Bill Hall was beloved for hitting those 35 home runs, then was considered an overpaid let down (both with the bat and the glove) as a center fielder. Last season he was routinely booed, the fans wanted Branyan and his numbers didn't do much to prove anyone wrong. Now here we are in 2009 and he's the same player he was last year, but now he should be the starting second baseman. How does that make sense?
Continue reading
What is this strange place? It is nothing like home
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/steps off the plane in Minnesota |
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WOAH |
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WOAH |
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WOAH |
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Where the F are we? |
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The itinerary says "Minn-ass-atah". |
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Where is that, freakin' Japan? |
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No, "Minn-AH-So-Tah". You know, 'Discover Minnesota' like in the commercials they show during our games. |
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You watch TV during our games? |
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You don't? |
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LOL |
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LOL |
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Whoa, what's the deal with all these white people? I feel like the Jackie Robinson of Minnesota tourism. |
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Yeah and did you notice how things are sort of "blue collar" here? |
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And there is a surprising amount of overweight people? |
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Talk about a bizarro world. |
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Yeah and did you see all these purple jerseys? It's almost like the people who live here care more about their NFL team than their baseball team. |
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DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO |
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And what is the deal with all these lakes? It's like every time you turn around, there's another lake. |
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The road is long with many a winding turn. He ain't heavy, he's my brother. |
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/high five |
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If I can be serious for a moment, I bet some of the population says things like "yah hey dare" and "doncha know?" |
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I bet the people here hate the Chicago Bears. |
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I bet in the winter time it is easier to find fresh venison than a good plate of caviar and that it's always easier to find a good microbrew than a nice bottle of wine. |
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I bet the amount of liberals and conservatives is evenly distributed, but for some reason most of the liberals live in a specific area of the state. |
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I bet the fall is beautiful, the winters too long and the summers too short. |
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Seriously Ken, this place is freaking me out. I'm a hitting coach, get me out of here! |
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Yeah, it's nothing like Wisconsin. We need to hightail it out. Screw our record, this is about SURVIVAL. |
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Don't worry guys, I'll take care of everything. |
AND THE REST IS HISTORY.
After this post I will consume a bottle of pills
Here is a list of our tweets yesterday:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
i need a drink. put me on suicide watch, weeks is don for the year
Here's some tweets I received:
SconnieGirl808@WisconsinTeams @millerparkdrunk - Wait. What?! WTF is happening???
thegnc@millerparkdrunk Oh for fucks sake. Link please.
thischarmingham@millerparkdrunk god just loves pissing in week's cheerios
Rickie Weeks is now out for the season. The recovery time on his injury is 4-6 months meaning that even in a best case scenario he won't be back for the playoffs. If there are a playoffs. One of my best friends claims that this is the best thing to ever happen to the Brewers. My friend is an idiot. Outside of the golden trio of Braun/Fielder/Gallardo, Weeks is the last person this team wanted to get hurt. Hart, Hardy and Hall are all replaceable. There isn't a single player on this team that can take his place at leadoff. Counsell is better at defense and matches his eye, but the power/speed combo isn't there. You can lead off Corey Hart, but you lose some OBP (perhaps a lot of it). You can lead off Kendall, but you lose every single thing Weeks does well and gain nothing except whiteness and metal knowledge. You can lead off... that's about it actually. Does a team need a true leadoff hitter to win it all? Not at all, but it certainly helps and it certainly hurts to have one and lose him.
Unfortunately, this isn't Baseball Mogul (which is probably a good thing because Baseball Mogul HATES the Brewers for some reason) and you can't just move Hardy to second and call up Escobar to play SS. You have to work with what you have and deal with players feelings. Hardy doesn't want to move and if he doesn't want to, you probably can't make him. Then even if you could do that, who knows if it would even work? It's not like Escobar is hitting in AAA. Weeks is gone and as of right now the best replacement for him is a Counsell/McGehee platoon. Call it whatever you want, but this is not a good thing. It's bad. Bad for the team. Bad for Rickie. Bad for me.
I am emotionally invested in Rickie Weeks. I saw him play in Double A. I watched his debut. I tracked his career. I've had him on fantasy teams. Most of all, I believed in him when no one else did. I knew the talent he had and I knew that if he ever figured it out, he'd be a pretty damn good second baseman. Guess what? He figured it out. This was the season that he became a pretty damn good second baseman and now it's over. Will he be good next year? He should be and I can't wait to bust out my Weeks jersey on Opening Day 2010, but it's still 2009. The race is too close to call and losing Rickie Weeks for the season hurts this team more than any of the other NL Central contenders have been hurt thus far.
The Brewers are a great team, but without Rickie? We'll see.
Now if you'll excuse me I am going to induce a seizure and swallow my own tongue.