|I know [Melvin] is trying to make our ballclub better. I know he recognizes the importance of making a move and making it soon. But at the same time, I think everybody's recognized there's a lot of teams that are still in th--|
|Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that, eh. Please, continue. You were sayin' something about how you think I should do my job eh?|
|What's the matter? Oh, y-you were finished eh? Oh, well allow me to retort!
What does Bernie Brewer look like?
|/flips over bench
What country you from?
|"What" ain't no country I ever heard of, eh! And I would know aboot a country called "What", eh. They speak English in "What"?!|
|ENGLISH RYAN BRAUN DO YOU SPEAK IT EH?|
|Then you know what I'm saying? Describe what Bernie Brewer LOOKS like, eh!|
|/points mustache at Braun
Say what again. I dare you, I double dare you motherf@%&r say what one more goddamn time, eh!
|Go on, eh.|
|He has a big yellow mustache.|
|Does he bring joy to children?|
|/slaps Braun with mustache
DOES HE BRING JOY TO KIDS, EH!?
|Then why you trying to f@%& that up? Why you trying to demoralize the people in the organization at a time when we should be pulling together. It puts a bad taste in our mouths.|
|Yes you did. Yes. You. Did, Ryan. You tried to demoralize people in the organization and Bernie Brewer don't like to be f'd by anybody except Mrs. Brewer.
Do you read the Journal Sentinel Ryan?
|God, why? The Bible is so much better. There's this passage I've got memorized, sorta fits the occassion.|
|No, that's not even a real passage, eh. It's Deuteronomy 21:18-21.|
|"Suppose a man has a stubborn, rebellious son who will not obey his father or mother, even though they discipline him. In such cases, the father and mother must take the son before the leaders of the town. They must declare: 'This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious and refuses to obey. He is a worthless drunkard.' Then all the men of the town must stone him to death." Eh.
That's kind of insane.
I think I know what I have to do.
Ryan Braun enters the locker room carrying a large box.
|/throws Remetee shirts in the air
Free shirts for everybody! Even you Mike Burns and Seth McClung!
/walks the Earth like Caine
|/dies of autoerotic fatality|
We now bring you part two of our e-mail conversation with Al of Al's Ramblings for The Miller Park Drunk E-Mail Show. Part two is a bit longer than part 1 as we get into Rickie Weeks, Mike Cameron, post-2009, potential trades, JJ Hardy, Manny Parra and the future of the team. We started to hit a groove towards the end there and we're happy with the results. This is probably the most actual analysis you'll ever see us do, so enjoy it while you can.
MPD: Bill Hall is a great example of casual fans not thinking things through. Bill Hall was beloved for hitting those 35 home runs, then was considered an overpaid let down (both with the bat and the glove) as a center fielder. Last season he was routinely booed, the fans wanted Branyan and his numbers didn't do much to prove anyone wrong. Now here we are in 2009 and he's the same player he was last year, but now he should be the starting second baseman. How does that make sense?
Continue reading →
|/steps off the plane in Minnesota|
|Where the F are we?|
|The itinerary says "Minn-ass-atah".|
|Where is that, freakin' Japan?|
|No, "Minn-AH-So-Tah". You know, 'Discover Minnesota' like in the commercials they show during our games.|
|You watch TV during our games?|
|Whoa, what's the deal with all these white people? I feel like the Jackie Robinson of Minnesota tourism.|
|Yeah and did you notice how things are sort of "blue collar" here?|
|And there is a surprising amount of overweight people?|
|Talk about a bizarro world.|
|Yeah and did you see all these purple jerseys? It's almost like the people who live here care more about their NFL team than their baseball team.|
|DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO|
|And what is the deal with all these lakes? It's like every time you turn around, there's another lake.|
|The road is long with many a winding turn. He ain't heavy, he's my brother.|
|If I can be serious for a moment, I bet some of the population says things like "yah hey dare" and "doncha know?"|
|I bet the people here hate the Chicago Bears.|
|I bet in the winter time it is easier to find fresh venison than a good plate of caviar and that it's always easier to find a good microbrew than a nice bottle of wine.|
|I bet the amount of liberals and conservatives is evenly distributed, but for some reason most of the liberals live in a specific area of the state.|
|I bet the fall is beautiful, the winters too long and the summers too short.|
|Seriously Ken, this place is freaking me out. I'm a hitting coach, get me out of here!|
|Yeah, it's nothing like Wisconsin. We need to hightail it out. Screw our record, this is about SURVIVAL.|
|Don't worry guys, I'll take care of everything.|