07
Jul 09

Doug Melvin strikes down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger

Ryan Braun I know [Melvin] is trying to make our ballclub better. I know he recognizes the importance of making a move and making it soon. But at the same time, I think everybody's recognized there's a lot of teams that are still in th--
Doug Melvin /shoots Chorizo
chorizo /dies
Doug Melvin Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that, eh. Please, continue. You were sayin' something about how you think I should do my job eh?
Ryan Braun [silence]
Doug Melvin What's the matter? Oh, y-you were finished eh? Oh, well allow me to retort!

What does Bernie Brewer look like?

Ryan Braun What?
Doug Melvin /flips over bench

What country you from?

Ryan Braun What?
Doug Melvin "What" ain't no country I ever heard of, eh! And I would know aboot a country called "What", eh. They speak English in "What"?!
Ryan Braun What?
Doug Melvin ENGLISH RYAN BRAUN DO YOU SPEAK IT EH?
Ryan Braun YES
Doug Melvin Then you know what I'm saying? Describe what Bernie Brewer LOOKS like, eh!
Ryan Braun What?
Doug Melvin /points mustache at Braun

Say what again. I dare you, I double dare you motherf@%&r say what one more goddamn time, eh!

Ryan Braun He-he-he's white.
Doug Melvin Go on, eh.
Ryan Braun He has a big yellow mustache.
Doug Melvin Does he bring joy to children?
Ryan Braun What!?
Doug Melvin /slaps Braun with mustache

DOES HE BRING JOY TO KIDS, EH!?

Ryan Braun YES!!
Doug Melvin Then why you trying to f@%& that up? Why you trying to demoralize the people in the organization at a time when we should be pulling together. It puts a bad taste in our mouths.
Ryan Braun I didn't!
Doug Melvin Yes you did. Yes. You. Did, Ryan. You tried to demoralize people in the organization and Bernie Brewer don't like to be f'd by anybody except Mrs. Brewer.

Do you read the Journal Sentinel Ryan?

Ryan Braun Yes.
Doug Melvin God, why? The Bible is so much better. There's this passage I've got memorized, sorta fits the occassion.
Ryan Braun Ezekiel 25:17?
Doug Melvin No, that's not even a real passage, eh. It's Deuteronomy 21:18-21.
Doug Melvin "Suppose a man has a stubborn, rebellious son who will not obey his father or mother, even though they discipline him. In such cases, the father and mother must take the son before the leaders of the town. They must declare: 'This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious and refuses to obey. He is a worthless drunkard.' Then all the men of the town must stone him to death." Eh.
Ryan Braun /ponders

That's kind of insane.

I think I know what I have to do.

Ryan Braun enters the locker room carrying a large box.

Ryan Braun /throws Remetee shirts in the air

Free shirts for everybody! Even you Mike Burns and Seth McClung!

Doug Melvin Sigh, eh.

/walks the Earth like Caine

Years later.

Doug Melvin /dies of autoerotic fatality

03
Jun 09

The Miller Park Drunk E-Mail Show with Al of Al’s Ramblings, Part 2

chevychaseshowWe now bring you part two of our e-mail conversation with Al of Al's Ramblings for The Miller Park Drunk E-Mail Show. Part two is a bit longer than part 1 as we get into Rickie Weeks, Mike Cameron, post-2009, potential trades, JJ Hardy, Manny Parra and the future of the team. We started to hit a groove towards the end there and we're happy with the results. This is probably the most actual analysis you'll ever see us do, so enjoy it while you can.

MPD: Bill Hall is a great example of casual fans not thinking things through. Bill Hall was beloved for hitting those 35 home runs, then was considered an overpaid let down (both with the bat and the glove) as a center fielder. Last season he was routinely booed, the fans wanted Branyan and his numbers didn't do much to prove anyone wrong. Now here we are in 2009 and he's the same player he was last year, but now he should be the starting second baseman. How does that make sense?
Continue reading →


25
May 09

What is this strange place? It is nothing like home

machahead /steps off the plane in Minnesota
sveumd WOAH
*Apr 17 - 00:05* WOAH
machahead WOAH
sveumd Where the F are we?
*Apr 17 - 00:05* The itinerary says "Minn-ass-atah".
sveumd Where is that, freakin' Japan?
machahead No, "Minn-AH-So-Tah". You know, 'Discover Minnesota' like in the commercials they show during our games.
sveumd You watch TV during our games?
machahead You don't?
*Apr 17 - 00:05* LOL
sveumd LOL
*Apr 17 - 00:05* Whoa, what's the deal with all these white people? I feel like the Jackie Robinson of Minnesota tourism.
machahead Yeah and did you notice how things are sort of "blue collar" here?
sveumd And there is a surprising amount of overweight people?
machahead Talk about a bizarro world.
*Apr 17 - 00:05* Yeah and did you see all these purple jerseys? It's almost like the people who live here care more about their NFL team than their baseball team.
sveumd DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
machahead And what is the deal with all these lakes? It's like every time you turn around, there's another lake.
*Apr 17 - 00:05* The road is long with many a winding turn. He ain't heavy, he's my brother.
sveumd /high five
*Apr 17 - 00:05* If I can be serious for a moment, I bet some of the population says things like "yah hey dare" and "doncha know?"
sveumd I bet the people here hate the Chicago Bears.
machahead I bet in the winter time it is easier to find fresh venison than a good plate of caviar and that it's always easier to find a good microbrew than a nice bottle of wine.
sveumd I bet the amount of liberals and conservatives is evenly distributed, but for some reason most of the liberals live in a specific area of the state.
*Apr 17 - 00:05* I bet the fall is beautiful, the winters too long and the summers too short.
sveumd Seriously Ken, this place is freaking me out. I'm a hitting coach, get me out of here!
*Apr 17 - 00:05* Yeah, it's nothing like Wisconsin. We need to hightail it out. Screw our record, this is about SURVIVAL.
machahead Don't worry guys, I'll take care of everything.

AND THE REST IS HISTORY.


19
May 09

After this post I will consume a bottle of pills

pills

Here is a list of our tweets yesterday:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i need a drink. put me on suicide watch, weeks is don for the year

Here's some tweets I received:

SconnieGirl808@WisconsinTeams @millerparkdrunk - Wait. What?! WTF is happening???

thegnc@millerparkdrunk Oh for fucks sake. Link please.

thischarmingham@millerparkdrunk god just loves pissing in week's cheerios

Rickie Weeks is now out for the season. The recovery time on his injury is 4-6 months meaning that even in a best case scenario he won't be back for the playoffs. If there are a playoffs. One of my best friends claims that this is the best thing to ever happen to the Brewers. My friend is an idiot. Outside of the golden trio of Braun/Fielder/Gallardo, Weeks is the last person this team wanted to get hurt. Hart, Hardy and Hall are all replaceable. There isn't a single player on this team that can take his place at leadoff. Counsell is better at defense and matches his eye, but the power/speed combo isn't there. You can lead off Corey Hart, but you lose some OBP (perhaps a lot of it). You can lead off Kendall, but you lose every single thing Weeks does well and gain nothing except whiteness and metal knowledge. You can lead off... that's about it actually. Does a team need a true leadoff hitter to win it all? Not at all, but it certainly helps and it certainly hurts to have one and lose him.

Unfortunately, this isn't Baseball Mogul (which is probably a good thing because Baseball Mogul HATES the Brewers for some reason) and you can't just move Hardy to second and call up Escobar to play SS. You have to work with what you have and deal with players feelings. Hardy doesn't want to move and if he doesn't want to, you probably can't make him. Then even if you could do that, who knows if it would even work? It's not like Escobar is hitting in AAA. Weeks is gone and as of right now the best replacement for him is a Counsell/McGehee platoon. Call it whatever you want, but this is not a good thing. It's bad. Bad for the team. Bad for Rickie. Bad for me.

I am emotionally invested in Rickie Weeks. I saw him play in Double A. I watched his debut. I tracked his career. I've had him on fantasy teams. Most of all, I believed in him when no one else did. I knew the talent he had and I knew that if he ever figured it out, he'd be a pretty damn good second baseman. Guess what? He figured it out. This was theĀ  season that he became a pretty damn good second baseman and now it's over. Will he be good next year? He should be and I can't wait to bust out my Weeks jersey on Opening Day 2010, but it's still 2009. The race is too close to call and losing Rickie Weeks for the season hurts this team more than any of the other NL Central contenders have been hurt thus far.

The Brewers are a great team, but without Rickie? We'll see.

Now if you'll excuse me I am going to induce a seizure and swallow my own tongue.

  • BrewBay

    Vintage Milwaukee Brewer Miniature MLB Helmet Bowls and 1991 Thermal Mug
    Vintage Milwaukee Brewer Miniature MLB Helmet Bowls and 1991 Thermal Mug
    US $1.99
  • Brewers Tickets

  • E-Mail Miller Park Drunk