07
Jul 11

Wake Up Mr. Greinke

I never ever wanted to write a negative word about Zack Greinke and hoped that time would never come, but unfortunately it has. Let's do it.

BREWERS STARTERS WITH ERA OVER 5.50 (Last 5 years)

  • Manny Parra 6.36 (2009)
  • David Bush 6.38 (2009)
  • Zack Greinke 5.66 (2011)

That's it. That's the whole list.

Now I know what you're thinking "Jesus, 2009 sucked" and my god did it ever. Hopefully you're also thinking "WTF IS ZACK GREINKE DOING THERE!?" 2009 was awful, but I would argue that 2011 could end up being a whole lot worse if Zack Greinke doesn't get his act together. He doesn't belong on this list, but that's how he has played thus far this season and he has sucked.

"but.. but.. he's had terrible luck! His xFIP proves it!"

"And he's winning games! He's 7-3!"

"Look at his BABIP, it's really high it will even out over time! And his LOB% is low!"

Shut up. Stop making excuses for him and shut up. You sound like an abused girlfriend who won't stop insisting that your boyfriend, Green Bay Packers cornerback Brandon Underwood, is really a good guy once you get to know him. Zack Greinke has been a huge disappointment, a much bigger disappointment than Casey McGehee, and it's time everyone admitted it. Continue reading →


17
Jun 10

The ultimate guide to Ryan Braun

We love the Milwaukee Brewers and despite popular belief we love Ryan Braun. No, really, we really do. We've gotten heat in the past because of the way we have portrayed Ryan Braun and for good reason. Whether it's his Lake Geneva restaurant, his Milwaukee restaurant, his t-shirt line, being single, sticking his tongue out, his comments about the pitching last season, LikeMe.Net or anything else, we've gotten a reputation for not liking Ryan Braun. You have to realize that this all just isn't true, I love Ryan Braun. I would sleep with Ryan Braun if I had to. He's my one of my favorite Brewers. It makes me excited that I get to see him play.

Looking at that history I realize that I've probably written about Ryan Braun more than any other Brewer and that I really know a lot about Ryan Braun. I know why he's great, I know why people like him and I know why people don't like him. I might be the world's foremost expert in Ryan Braun and if watching Spiderman has taught me anything it's that girls nipples look great when their t-shirt gets wet. Oh, and something about responsibility. I feel that I must share this knowledge with the world to better educate you in all things Ryan Braun because if I don't, who will? Continue reading →


26
Apr 10

Where everybody hates Suppan, Monday Mailbag part 2

Where in the "levels of dispiriting" does getting swept by the Scrubs 25-4 fall? And, is it already time to make the rest of the season about tailgating first and baseball second?
- Jake

Wait, is that a conscious decision that people actually make? I thought there was just "tailgating first-baseball second" people and "baseball first-tailgating second" people. I didn't know it was possible to switch sides during the season. If such a switch even exists it is way to early to flip it.

The truth is that while these losses were pretty awful for our positivity and our self esteem we have to try and remember that they are only three games in a long season. Three games in the first month doesn't mean a whole lot and if the Brewers end up finishing the month under .500 (where they currently sit) that isn't really enough to worry. We have to try and remember 2008 (the measuring stick by which all future Brewers seasons shall be judged). The Brewers started that season 6-1 and looked to be a team to be reckoned with, but then they went 14-23 in their next 37 before catching fire and going 70-48 the rest of the year. If someone offered you the chance to start 14-23, but to finish at 90-72 you would take that every time. I don't know about you guys, but I much prefer to go home with a win on a 90 degree day in the summer than a game where the roof is closed and I'm wearing pants.

If you were a hot dog would you eat yourself?
- Aaron Continue reading →


30
Mar 10

Gallardo named Opening Day starter

In a move that was surprising to Randy Wolf's mom, Patricia Gallardo's ex-boyfriend Joel and like, five other people Yovani Gallardo was named the Brewers Opening Day starter for 2010. It's quite a contrast to last season when manager Ken Macha decided that winning on Opening Day wasn't really a priority to him and started Jeff Suppan. (Yes, the same Jeff Suppan who the Brewers are currently considering paying a whole lot of money to not play for them.)

Macha actually said that he "thinks he's ready for it." Really? Do you think the sky is blue? Do you think sex leads to babies too, Ken? Seriously, this is something that should have been announced in May of 2009. Gallardo is the Brewers best pitcher, by far, and whatever "pressure" is put upon him by being the Brewers number one starter is as made up as my girlfriend who lives in Niagra Falls. You can't be sure if it was Gallardo's 2009 season where he became only the fourth pitcher in Brewers history to have 200 strikeouts in a season (despite skipping his last few starts), his spring training showing, the quality of the other options or something else that changed his mind, but he did. Whatever it was we should all take solace in the fact that Macha made the right choice this year.


31
Jul 09

Guide to hangovers

hangoverYesterday we didn't write anything for the site. Why? We went to the game on Wednesday. I started to go through my archives and realized that for every Wednesday game I have gone to this season Thursday has suffered. I don't think that I need to spell it out for you why this happens. It's just the way it is. You can't start pre-gaming at 5 in the afternoon, watch a three hour baseball game and then stay out until bar time without some effects. For us it's not doing a whole lot of writing on Thursdays. I'll take it. The thing is this goes on a lot. It's not just a clever name. We've been down this road many, many times before. So why not give a little bit back? Why not share our vast knowledge? Why not create...(wait for it)..

Miller Park Drunk's Guide To Hangovers

Continue reading →

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