18
Sep 09

MPD Field Trip: Wrigley Field in Pictures

The full report can be found here, but here are a few pictures taken during the day. Continue reading →


15
Sep 09

Haray Caray Preview Tonight’s Game

Well, yesterday I promised you a very special guest writer today and here he is, HARRY CARAY!!!!!! Also, follow me on twitter!

harrycarayHello again everybody and welcome to the Miller Park Drunk game preview of the, uh, Cubs and Brewers live from, uh, Wrigley Field. *coughs* Lemme tell ya, being dead is tough business. Ho lemme tell ya. It a beautiful day for baseball here at Wrigley Field and the Cubs look to win their second straight against the Milwaukee Brewers. Boy could I go for another cold Budweiser right now, Steve. I remember one time we were in Milwaukee when I was announcing for the White Sox, lemme tell ya I had one too many Budweisers and I woke up in a place that,  uh, I couldn't even pronounce the name of but it had those two, uh, those two dots over a couple of the letters and the worst part about it was I had no pants on! Holy cow. I much prefer to sleep in my own bed, but I guess that's what happens when you take a pill given to you by a stranger. Speaking of strangers, Steve, this woman came up to me that night and she told me she was a big Cubbies fan and then grabbed my package. She says to me, she says "Harry" and I said, "yes" and she says "is that your package in my hand?" and I looked her straight in the eye and says to her I says "It could be. It might be. It is!" I'm just pulling your chain there Steve. Man am I glad I was dead for that Bartman thing.

Hopefully the Cubs can get a win tonight and send some of these fans home happy. You know what makes me happy? Those Asian massage parlors, ho-ly cowww. Let's get some runs!


18
Aug 09

EXCLUSIVE: Gorman Thomas to attempt comeback with Cubs

In an interview with a small town Illinois newspaper Gorman Thomas said that he would "like to play again." When asked why now, 23 years after retiring, he wanted to come back Gorman said that he'd "like to help the Cubbies finally get that World Series." Cubs general manager Jim Hendry declined to comment, but did admit that there was interest.

UPDATE: Gorman tells ESPN's Buster Olney that his quotes were taken out of context and he is enjoying retirement. Continue reading →


02
Jul 09

Miller Park South sucks

I love the Milwaukee Brewers, obviously, but for some reason the team seems to be obsessed with creating a "Miller Park South" environment at Wrigley Field whenever the Brewers go down to play the Cubs. To me, this makes absolutely no sense at all. First of all, why encourage people to spend money on tickets to go to Wrigley Field? For the price of ONE Cubs game a smart wrigleyfieldfan can probably go to two or three Brewers games. Second of all, Miller Park is an amazing place to watch baseball and it is a well built, safe, comfortable building. Why would you want to tarnish it's name by calling a dump like Wrigley Field the same name, only South? It does not make any sense.

I can hear you so-called baseball purists out there right now, "Wrigley Field is a magical place to watch a baseball game! and "Wrigley Field has a storied history, Babe Ruth played there!" To which I say, big freaking deal. Do you know what I like in a ballpark? The ability to pee, that's what. I like to go to the bathroom and not have to worry about missing three innings, having someone staring at my junk because we're so close our arms are interlocked, getting stage fright or being stuck at the end of the trough that some asshole puking in the toilet splashes his puke on my leg (all things that have happened to me at Wrigley Field, by the way). Do you know what I like in a ballpark? Not having concrete fall on my head, that's what. Oh there is a net protecting me from falling debris? That will save me, nevermind. Do you know what I like to run into when I go to a game? Short concession lines. Oh, and something actually good to eat. Can someone explain to me how the Cubs sell out every home game yet the pizza always tastes five days old? Is this a "Chicago thing"? Do people in Chicago like their Old Style cold, their sports teams terrible and their pizza tasting like it's five days old? I feel like there should be forensic scientists studying stuff like this. There is one more thing I like when I go to a baseball game, the ability to WATCH THE GAME. John Kruk has a better view of his feet than you have of the field from most seats in Wrigley Field, but don't listen to me I'll let a Cubs fan tell you:

What seats have obstructed view at Wrigley Field?

Most of them! Most of the seats in the 200 and 500 level have poles in your way. The 200 level is some of the worst seats in baseball.

(Tickets in the 200 level for tomorrow's game? Between $50-$200. Wrigley Field, ladies and gentleman!)

(In Wrigley Field's defense at least they have those TV screens so you can see what you missed from your obstructed seats. Wait, what? They don't!?)

Oh, but I am sure I am being too hard on Wrigley Field. I mean, you don't go to Wrigley Field to watch baseball, eat, pee, or drink. No, you go to Wrigley Field to EXPERIENCE it, to breathe in the history. That's what you do right? You want to be in the same place that Rogers Hornsby and Babe Ruth and Jody Davis once played in. You go there as much for the history of the park as anything else, but if we could let's be serious for a moment. What history? What history are you talking about?  The Cubs started playing in Wrigley Field in 1916. Since then they have played .491 ball, made 12 postseasons (which came 38 years apart at one point) and won exactly 0 World Series. History, schmistory.

If Cubs fans knew what was good for them they'd burn that place to the ground. And if the Brewers knew what was good for them, they'd stop with all this "Miller Park South" crap. If they want to create a truly memorable fan experience they will do whatever it takes to keep Brewers fans out of that pissbucket and inside Miller Park. Unless, of course, the memories they want to imprint on Brewers fans are those of urinary tract infections, diarrhea and 20 minutes of watching baseball combined with two and a half hours of waiting in line. I'm assuming they don't.

Trust me people, save your time and save your money. Stay the hell away from Wrigley Field.


18
May 09

Boy let me tell you what

Ryan Franklin

Ryan Franklin, pitcher, St. Louis Cardinals

I tell you what, I done been in this here Major Leagues for a long time and if there is one thing I can't stands it's people disrespectin' me. Hell, I done lost 31 games in two seasons back in Seattle. I knows about some disrespect, I got plenty of it from dem damn hippies that frequent Mariner games (and they say Wrigley Field is the world's largest queer bar.)

/spits chewing tobacco

You ask me, dem Brewers is just about the most disrespectful team in the National League with their high fivin' and untuckin' and struttin' round the bases like they in first place or something. I don't mind them hittin' me so much, I just hate that shirt untuckin' so darn much.

/drives pick up truck

Hell, my daddy didn't take his shirt off when he got off work. He didn't even wear a shirt! Hardly could, most days it was hotter than two rats bangin' in a wool sock! You don't see me and my teammates comin' to the ball game with no shirts on.

/listens to Lynyrd Skynyrd

Course none of this would matter if we could just beat them sumbitches to shut em up once and for good. I try to tell em we need to get out there and beat em, hell I'm serious as the business end of a .45 and we still lose. I just don't know what it is about them Brewers, but we can't lick em.

/does taxidermy

But just cuz we ain't beat em yet, don't mean we're gun quit tryin. These colors don't run and I'm gonna get me some Brewers come hell or high water. That boy Mike Cameron better watch out too, cuz I hate that shirt untuckin' business and I know it was his idea. I'm comin' for that son of a gun.

/trims beard, finds a frenchy fry

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