04
Sep 09

Ten Links: Corey Patterson

corey pattersonIn honor of the newest Brewer Corey Patterson I present to you TEN LINKS.

  1. "Is Dusty Baker sleeping with Corey Patterson?": Yahoo! Answers investigates.
  2. Corey Patterson montage: A fan video set to Survivor.
  3. Someone actually has to tell Dusty Baker that Corey Patterson sucks: Anytime you can talk bad about Baker and Patterson in the same article, Cubs fans will read it.
  4. Corey "tarded" Patterson
  5. Corey hasn't learned a damn thing: desipio, a sports blog pioneer.
  6. Corey Patterson has a new nickname: Orioles fans love him too.
  7. Corey story: Moral of the story? Don't let Corey dress himself.
  8. Walk Off Walk's Patterson t-shirt
  9. Bleacher bums tell Patterson how they feel: Or maybe just one guy.
  10. Corey Patterson's Baseball Reference Page: Perhaps the funniest of all. -30 OPS+ this season, is that even possible?

17
Jul 09

A peek inside the Brewers bullpen

The Brewers are enjoying a comfortable 9-3 lead.

trevorhoffman Psst!
seth mcclung /walks Nix
trevorhoffman Pssst!!!
seth mcclung /wipes 2 liters of sweat off brow

Wha? Who keeps doin' dat? I be tryin' to pitch good.

trevorhoffman (whispering) It's me. Trevor.
seth mcclung Oh, hey boss. What can I do for ya?
trevorhoffman I need you to give up three runs.
seth mcclung Wha? Why? We need to win this one boss! We cruisin' to a victory!
trevorhoffman Don't worry about that, just give up this home run so the game will be a save situation.
seth mcclung Bu..bu.... but I wanted to be a startin again soon! I need to prove myself to Mr. Mancha!
trevorhoffman Listen Red, you're never going to be a starter again.
seth mcclung Why not?
trevorhoffman For one, you're not that good.
seth mcclung /walks Gomes
trevorhoffman See.
seth mcclung Aww hell that don't matter. Look at the rest of our staff.
trevorhoffman True, but you're also nature's mistake.
seth mcclung What in the sam hell is that supposed to mean?
trevorhoffman Your hair.
seth mcclung What's wrong with it?
trevorhoffman Don't play dumb I've seen you on Yahoo Answers.
seth mcclung Yeah, but there been lotsa good red headed baseball players.
trevorhoffman Like who?
seth mcclung Chris Shelton.
trevorhoffman /stares
seth mcclung Man, you got a creepy lookin' face. It looks like you stole it from a wax museum in the Dells.
Okay, what 'bout Bobby Kielty?
trevorhoffman Maybe in the California Penal League.
seth mcclung Steve Howe?
trevorhoffman Maybe in the Betty Ford League.
seth mcclung Doug Rader! He won 5 Gold Gloves!
trevorhoffman Yeah, but that was in the 70s when they used to pick the Gold Glove awards by who could do the Hustle and who could get the best quaaludes.
seth mcclung True. That certainly explains Mark Belanger, but whatta 'bout Wade Boggs? Great hitter, could drank 'bout 70 beers, hung out with Mr. Perfect, sex addict, used to record other players cheatin' to protect himself.

Wait, scratch that last one.

trevorhoffman Oh, would you just give up the home run already? You know you were going to anyways.
seth mcclung Fine.

/gives up 3 run bomb

trevorhoffman :o
toddcoffey /RUNS WILDLY
trevorhoffman Psst!!
toddcoffey STFU TREVOR I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT RED HEADS

trevor time

Epilogue: Saves with a three run lead are stupid.

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