16
Jun 09

The fail that is the JSOnline Brewers Fan Photo Gallery

If you haven't had the pleasure chance to see the JSOnline's user submitted Brewers fan photo gallery than you are REALLY missing out. I've invited my good friend Brewers Baby to help me comment on some of these photos.I should warn you, Brewers Baby can get a little vulgar at times. What can I say? He's a baby. He poops his pants and pees himself. Babies are stupid.

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BREWERS BABY This is a good look for someone who wants to A) look like a douchebag, B) cook crystal meth, C) date strippers and D) get his f@%kin ass whooped if I ever see him.

Continue reading →


08
Jun 09

50 Brewers related sexual innuendos

michael_scott2jpgLet me get personal for a second here. I love, like love love ))<>(( love love <3 love myspace love, sexual innuendos. I love saying that'swhat she said. Besides my friend Emily I probably say it more than anyone I have ever met. I just love them. Whether they are actually meant in a sexual way, just meant to be funny or just plain stupid, I love them. So why not combine two loves? Why not list a few of my favorite Brewers related sexual innuendos? Why not list ONE HUNDRED FIFTY of them?

Sounds like a plan. Continue reading →


05
Jun 09

Your weekend over and unders

caged_lionIt's been a strange week in Miller Park Drunk land. A long baseball conversation with Al's Ramblings. More Happy Youngster jokes. All-Star lineups. Finding out that someone else is taking credit for Coffey's music. (That one hurt.) Calling out Mike Cameron on the untuck. It's been fun. Unfortunately, watching Brewers games lately hasn't been. These sorts of these things happen from time to time over a 162 game season. You win three straight, you lose 3 of 4, you win a few more. It's nothing to get excited about. How about that homerun Prince hit yesterday though? Could he have picked a deeper part of the ballpark? Crazy power there.

The Crew (this is how I like to say it, what's up with those people who say Blue Brew Crue? I mean, really?) begin a three game series against the Braves this weekend. The Braves have under gone a makeover this week releasing all-time Brave Tom Glavine, acquiring Nate McClouth and calling up pitcher Tommy Hanson. This isn't exactly the series you'd want come off losing three of four, but you take what you're given and like it in the Major Leagues. The MLB is like Oliver Twist that way.

Anyways, for those of you watching the gamesĀ  this weekend here's a few things to look out for and bet on with your friends.

Weekend O/Us

  • 15: FSN mentions of their Twitter page.
    Speaking of Twitter, our friend and yours Tom Haudricourt is now on Twitter and occasionally posts.. things. Today he tweeted that rumors in Boston have them getting JJ Hardy. I think it's pretty ridiculous that someone with access to the general manager would post something like this. The Boston media thinks of the rest of the majors as their farm system, but fails to realize that a contending team wouldn't trade one of their keys guys in a pennant race. That's fine. What's not fine is the Milwaukee writer who doesn't even realize it. What an idiot.
  • 3: Times Tommy Hanson is called a "phenom", "future star" or "whiz".
  • 85: Times you hear the name "Nate McClouth". Trust me they are going to go on and on and on about this.
  • 13: Beers I drink tonight.
  • 5: Bill Hall strikeouts.
  • 1: Times Joe Mauer tells Elton John he's a top, not a catcher.
  • 2: Times a Brewers leaves the game early. Seriously, it seems like this has been happening every game!
  • 3: People who skip our grilling guide and still pour the gas over the metal. Bastards.

Alright, that's enough of that. We're going away for the weekend. Maybe take the boy to the zoo since the Brewers are out of town. Afterall, it's never too early to teach your son what monkeys having sex looks like.


03
Jun 09

The Miller Park Drunk E-Mail Show with Al of Al’s Ramblings, Part 2

chevychaseshowWe now bring you part two of our e-mail conversation with Al of Al's Ramblings for The Miller Park Drunk E-Mail Show. Part two is a bit longer than part 1 as we get into Rickie Weeks, Mike Cameron, post-2009, potential trades, JJ Hardy, Manny Parra and the future of the team. We started to hit a groove towards the end there and we're happy with the results. This is probably the most actual analysis you'll ever see us do, so enjoy it while you can.

MPD: Bill Hall is a great example of casual fans not thinking things through. Bill Hall was beloved for hitting those 35 home runs, then was considered an overpaid let down (both with the bat and the glove) as a center fielder. Last season he was routinely booed, the fans wanted Branyan and his numbers didn't do much to prove anyone wrong. Now here we are in 2009 and he's the same player he was last year, but now he should be the starting second baseman. How does that make sense?
Continue reading →


02
Jun 09

Creative ways to use the Milwaukee Brewers new texting service

In case you haven't heard the Brewers have added a new service for fans to report people behaving badly. All you have to do is text them and they'll take care of it. I think this is a great service and would hate to see it abused by some fans. That's why we're here with...

YOUR GUIDE TO TEXTING THE MILWAUKEE BREWERS

  1. When texting the Brewers, please spell everything correctly. "drnk n 125 no sht on yllng" will get you nowhere.
  2. Don't use the texting service as a way to get in touch with Brewers players. "JJ: 36/24/36, call me 414xxxxxxx" will not be accepted.
  3. No lols. This one hurts me, but it's true. We can't have lols in texts. So "dude just punched out cub fan in rf lol!" isn't going to cut it. Sorry.
  4. No texting after 2AM. Nothing good ever happens after 2AM.
  5. If you see The Happy Youngster feel free to make something up about him and text it.

I'm pretty interested to see how this turns out. It could easily turn into a case of he said/she said and there are a lot of people out there who are simply too easily offended. The only thing I'll say about it for now is this: use it to your advantage, get The Happy Youngster thrown out of games.

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